Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! It's my Bday!

Today was Christmas morning, New Years Eve, my birthday and the 4th of July for me.

All THREE of my boys were in school today.

Johnny started today, and my two older ones started last week.

It was sheer bliss.

The house was quiet.

I did my grocery shopping without having to say one "No" or "Leave your brother ALONE!"

No one asked me for sugary cereal, which I ALWAYS say "no" to.

No one yelled "SHOT GUN" immediately after exiting the store.

Also...

NO ONE loaded my car up for me but... ME...

No one emptied the car for me... but ME...

So I do miss them for that.

LOL!

I am the WORST mother in the world...

AND I DON'T CARE!!!

I believe I lost 50 gray hairs today, and they were replaced with shiny black ones...

just from the sheer bliss of QUIET!!!

***

My kids go to school about 10 miles from home, and we take the freeway, and all that junk...

and after school, my two older boys have after school football practice, and I don't like to go back and forth making 4 trips a day to school, so Johnny and I had a little

"Back to school" celebratory sundae at Chili's near his school. Actually, he had the sundae, while I drank Iced Tea...still sticking like glue to my new way of eating... and loving it...

Johnny started his homework, {which he was soooooo excited to have... weirdo}

and we still had an hour to kill after the sundae, so instead of taking up a table our server could turn, I decided to head on over to the Redlands Bowl down the street. I LOVE IT THERE.

We sat under a shade tree, and Johnny finished his homework, and I listened contently to

a lone saxophone player practicing on stage.

It was fabulous.

He was really great.

After each song, Johnny and I enthusiatically clapped for him.

I felt badly that I didn't have any spare change or paper money on me to give a homeless

man that wandered by and asked for help.

Next time we go, I'll have a sandwich ready and some cash.

He decided to have a seat on a park bench nearby and talk with me a little.

So there we were, my 10 year old, me and a little homeless man, listening to a

lone sax player in the park.

I felt like I should have been writing poetry or something.

***

So we headed to the High School, to pick up Alex, he was done at 5. When we got home, all the soccer practices and games had been cancelled due to the poor air quality, because of all the fires around us. I didn't smell anything today, but last night was strong.

At 7, I had to head out, back to the High School to pick up my oldest from Football, and we saw the MOST spectacular sunset I have seen in a long time.

I hate fires... but they sure do make for a lovely sunset. The sun looked beet red, and there were deep purples and oranges, and salmon colors all over.

Gorgeous... but sad... that a tragedy was the reason for the loveliness.

I forgot my camera... it would have been a great one to catch.

***

It was a good day. Quiet, and serene.

When do they get out of school again???

Oh...the weather outside is frightful...

Okay.

I'm officially old.

I have been deduced to discussing the weather...

I'm fine with it... I can handle getting old...

no problem...

What I CAN'T handle?

What I absolutely hate?

What I kiss and hug and thank my HVAC/ Sheet Metal Worker hubby for on days like today?

THE FREAKING HELLISH WEATHER!

What IS this crap?

110 in the SHADE!

HUMIDITY!

We don't do humidity in So Cal!

Do you KNOW what a curly headed woman goes through on a HUMID DAY?

No amount of hair spray, hair ties, mousse, hats... NOTHING... stops the frizz that is

INEVITABLE on a humid day.

***

We were at the soccer field at 7:00 a.m. this morning... AND IT WAS ALREADY 82!!!!

Two weeks ago, it was soooo gorgeous.. sooo mild and wonderful!

THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!

We have a pool, BUT IT'S SOOO HOT IN THERE!!!

It's more like a giant bathtub.

***

My two older boys spent the entire day at the soccer field playing and reffing games.

Poor kids. All that for a measly $30 for the day.

My snack bar girls make $40 for an evening! Only 4 hours!

***

Going outside is like walking into a furnace.

It just hits you in the face.

SMACK!

Full blown heat.

Ugh.

My ankles are cankles, my fingers are swollen, AND I'm PMSing.

Oh... it's gonna be an interesting week.

My poor boys. Dad is gone for the week "hunting".

They have to deal with Premeditated Murder Syndrome alone...

There had better not be one Jehovah's witness or anyone on a mission coming to my door this week...I'm usually very nice and complimentary... but I can literally feel the blood coursing through my veins, and my tongue becoming forked, and my head itches where my horns come out every month.

I HATE WEATHER OVER 100...

HATE IT... HATE IT... HATE IT!!!!

Be nice to me...

Don't make me hunt you down...

I'll put the Italian Eye on you!

Make the weather change... anyone... please...

We need GLOBAL CHILLING!

How can we make that happen?

Friday Frenzy

The first week of school for my two older boys is over...

WE are drowning in a sea of homework... already...

It's quite an adjustment for Alex...

But he is doing well.

They are both at school from 7:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. because of football, so they are frequently tired, hungry and stinky...

Ahhh boys...

***

William FOUND THAT STUPID CELL HE LOST!!!

I had to cancel the insurance claim on it.

What a rip off cell phone insurance is!

Did you know there is a $50 deductible? The insurance costs $5 a month, and when paired with the deductible, IT COST'S MORE FOR INSURANCE, THAN THE ORIGINAL PURCHASE OF THE PHONE!!! I won't be making that mistake again.

Kinda makes we wish we already had the technology like in Star Trek... where you just

touch your shoulder and say "Beam me to school, Mommy"

***

Tomorrow is an entire day of football, soccer, laundry and hopefully swimming...

It has been over 100 all week!

Have a great weekend!

I'll post again on Monday!

Writer's Workshop 8-27-2009

WRITERS WORKSHOP PROMPT I PICKED IS...

Name the best 5 things about the first day of school...

Here we go!!!

1. THEY

2. AREN'T

3. HERE

4. ALL

5. DAY!!!!!

The end.

Wordful Wednesday

Johnny and William at the Sweet Sixteen we attended on Saturday.

Johnny danced the night away.

His two big brothers turned down every girl that asked them to dance... "because they couldn't dance". I'm gonna have to dig out my dancing shoes...

WE just can't have "non dancers" in the family...

Click on the link above for more 7 Clown Circus!!!

To Josie

Josie Teece... I just wanted you to know that you made my ENTIRE week!

Your compliments are piercing my soul!

Thank you so much!

I just wanted you to see your name on here!

Enjoy your cup of Joe!

First day of school... the saga starts...

Oy Vay... the first day of school was eventful to say the least.

Alex, my middle child, 13, tall, handsome, funny, just an all around good guy...

was an apparent HIT with the ladies.

How do I know?

I got phone calls. Lots of phone calls.

I tried to laugh through my tears... but I just couldn't muster it up. LOL!

He was frequently mistaken as a FRESHMAN... and girls were visibly upset when they found out he was just a punky seventh grader.

He's right at home in a big school.

The High Schoolers didn't intimidate him at all. I think having his 220 lb, 5'11 big brother with him helped that situation out a bit.

But Alex isn't a shrinking violet... he is pretty confidant... and holds the motto... "Never let 'em see you sweat".

He is sooo excited about attending this school.

He is most excited about having 7th period P.E. (with all the cheerleaders, football players and such) Since he is now playing Jr. High Football at school, he has the "cool" P.E.

He woke up at stupid o'clock to get ready for school...

ACTUALLY DID HIS HAIR CORRECTLY...

and PRIMPED in the mirror.

Ahhh Hormones... thy name is GREY HAIR FOR MAMA!

He also had Percussion Studies (drums) and Computers as electives.

5 of his classmates from his other school also transferred, so he has his posse with him,

which include some girls now. UGH!!!

I've already been informed of a 3 day trip to Catalina for Science Camp IN SEPTEMBER... so OF COURSE... an additional check has to be written for this... and OF COURSE... he HAS to go.

***

William's first day was good as well.

Since he slept in the Gym all last week with the rest of the football team, he feels like he never left the school. I could tell though, that he was excited to have Alex at school with him. Now he has someone to commiserate with, and to talk with about, that actually knows what's going on.

OF COURSE... he lost his cell phone.

Last year, he at least waited a few months before losing the first one.

This year, he graced us with losing it ON THE FIRST DAY!

He lost 4 last year.

I'm thinking he won't be getting his souped up 1965 Ford Galaxy 500 we were GOING to give him for his 16th B-day, until he's 25.

He may be driving the new golf cart (new to us, used) to school.

He and his Dad were going to begin working on the Galaxy, (which is up at Bill's Dad's property)

after Football season... but... MAYBE MAMA WILL BE DRIVING THE EXTREMELY COOL CAR!!!

I love old cars. His isn't close to looking like this... but this is what we are going for.

But if the child loses phones so easily... what might he do with a car! Leaves the keys in it?

Oy Dio!

THANK GOD I made him pay his own insurance this time around.. the replacement phone will be here in 48 hours.

Ding a ling.

Other than that... he had a lot of homework already...and likes his classes.

He is fully loaded this year... Chemistry, Algebra 2, American Sign Language, World Lit, World History, Bible, and Baseball.

All have homework except Baseball.

Poor kids. They are in school from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mon - Thurs.

BUT it keeps them out of trouble!

Oh crap! I just burned my focaccia writing this!!!

Bye!!!

Schools in!!! Yahooooo!

Woo to the Hoo! 2 of my boys are back to school!

Alex just started Jr. High today, and the same school as his big brother William! {Will is a sophomore this year!}

{The school has 7-8 on one side of campus, and 9-12 on the other}

Alex has decided he is going to play football this season for the school. Yeah!!! So I have two football players in my house now.

I LOVE that it's such a small school. Not thousands of kids milling around... only about 500 total.

Each class is about 100 kids, just right.

Lots and lots of personal attention... everyone knows everyone in school... room to breathe...

we pay through the nose... but it's worth it to me.

It's considered an "Elite" school because of the academics they offer, and their electives list reads like a college. They even have Archery.

I just ADORE this school. Can you tell?

The numbers were a little down in August, due to the economy but we've had a huge influx of student applications in the last three weeks. MANY students from surrounding public schools started school 3 weeks ago, and lots of those parents decided to jump on over to our school at the last minute. So now our numbers are right on par...

50 private schools in California ALONE shut their doors last year...

I'm on the PTA... can you tell? And the booster club... This place is the bomb!

***

Johnny's school starts in two weeks, after Labor Day.

He got his glasses today. Now he'll be able to read the board in class.

He looks soooo adorable in them.

Two more years at this private school, then we transfer him to his brother's school, and for one year, they will all be under the same roof.

***

These past few weeks have been chock full of activities and shopping.

From Football Preseason BBQ's to BTS night, to Sweet Sixteen Parties, to soccer, Market Night, Hell Week and catering, and Tae kwon do... I'm pooped!

I am sooo overdue for some Mama time.

Just two more weeks.

Two more weeks...

two more weeks...

One more BTS night this week...

Then its pedicures and... oh man... gotta get these forests formally known as my eyebrows WAXED!!! Yikes!!!

Writers Workshop 8-20-09

Todays topic I chose are totally in tune with what is going on in my frazzled life these days.

***

"Hi, my name is Saundra, and I'm a frantic, disheveled, loud, obnoxious, it's my way or the highway, very old fashioned thinking, won't take any back talk, totally ready for school to start... Mama."

Can you tell I have had a summer and a half?

Teens suck!

Well, not all the time... but enough of the time to make me write about it.

Mine are NOT "bad" like the losers down the street.

I know where they are every second of the day, they aren't latch key kids, I'm here all the freaking time, and we keep them so busy, they don't have time to get into major trouble.

BUT!!!

The eye rolling, and snide comments, and the TRYING to talk back and give me lip...

IS DRIVING ME BONKERS!!!

I totally GET why animals in the wild sometimes EAT THEIR YOUNG!!!

I know, I know... you all have perfect kids that wouldn't THINK of doing this stuff...

but believe me... just when you THINK your kids aren't capable of doing stuff, they are doing it.

I have been around MANY kids whose parents are totally fooled into thinking their little angels are just the sweetest, kindest, won't talk rudely to adults, child on the planet... AND I KNOW AND HAVE HEARD OTHERWISE!!!

The Snack Shack has totally jaded me ... LOL!

***

When... when I ask you... did I become the person that ALL the crap gets dealt to?

Daddy comes home from work, and they act like they are LIVING ANGELS!

I hate that.

I need to go away for a week, and have Bill take vacation time, and have him do all the crap and take all the crap.

Ugh... I adore my men. They can be sooo sweet when they want to be... but

HORMONES SUCK!

***

2. What will I be doing now that the kids are back to school?

Well, mine aren't back to school just yet... Aug 24 and Sept sometime.

OH, HOW I LOOK FORWARD TO THOSE DAYS!

The first hour, I will just sit and LISTEN TO THE SILENCE!

I will dive into the NOTHINGNESS that is my screaming, hitting, eye rolling, mess making, empty for 7 hours home. Ah.. sweet bliss, thy name is school!

The second hour... I will be having my second cup of coffee, watering my garden and probably

SWIMMING IN MY POOL, WITH NO ONE TO SPLASH ME or yell 'WATCH THIS, MOM !"

The third hour... I will be making my bed, doing some laundry, checking FB,

and HOPEFULLY writing more chapters in my book.

When it's time to get them from school, I will be refreshed and ready to hear all about their school day.

I will make dinner, take them to soccer, pick up from football, send them to bed, and repeat the next day.

I venture to guess, that on... about... day 14...

I will start to miss them... just a little... and get a phone call from my Mama, telling me to cherish these days because they are limited, and not to wish them away.

I will probably make it worse by looking at their baby books.

I'll cry, get over it, and for the rest of the year, learn to savor my job as Mom, and wish for June... just like I have for the last 13 years.

Where am I... who am I???

I've recieved some emails asking if I'm okay.

Boy, get a little busy with life, and all hell breaks loose! LOL!

I'm great...

Monday night Mama and I worked Market Night, selling her cookies to dozens of people.

We were the busiest vendor... I am proud to say.

We even had 3 return customers from last month!

My Mama made over 1000 cookies.

There were cookies in my kitchen, in my dining room, on my couches, in the fridge, in the freezer...

COOKIES EVERYWHERE!

We had sooo much cake, I gave left overs to my neighbors and fed my son's Football Team the rest tonight.

We catered "Hell Week" for my sons High School football team tonight.

The team eats, sleeps and lives in the high school gym for a full week, and practice at all hours of the night, play pranks on each other, and basically just build moral, bonds and

do some team building stuff.

They are working them sooo hard. So my Mama and I made the entire dinner tonight for 60

people. Pasta, Meatballs, Salad, and I made 20 loaves of fresh, homemade bread into garlic bread.

They loved it. I'm going back tomorrow to feed the teachers the leftover pasta and meatballs.

My house in finally rid of cookies.

Amen!

It's been a grueling, but fun past couple of days.

***

Next week, two of my boys go back to school

OH HAPPY DAYS!

and the following week, Johnny starts back.

THEN MY LIFE IS MINE AGAIN FROM 7 AM - 3 PM!

***

So, I'm fine... just a little overextended these past few weeks. Things should quiet down after school starts... I hope.

***

I'll be back for Writers Workshop!

Merge

I can't keep up with three blogs.

Unlike my anonymous commenter, I didn't get a 3.5 in school... I got all A's!!! HA!!!!

Sooo, I have made an executive decision to merge all three of my blogs into one

big, food filled, bread making, opinionated blog.

Won't that be fun?

Stay tuned.

I have to figure it all out, and see why my cut and paste won't work on my blogs.

***

Since trying to launch my new business, I just don't have the time to contribute to three separate blogs anymore. It's been months since I've written in my other two...

Get ready for lot of pictures of what we have for dinner, and lots of homemade bread pictures.

Oh yeah, and lots of rants about dumb people in cars, and those with pilot LISENSES (not licenses)

***

This is gonna be fun!

To Anonymous

Well, well, well... It seems that ANONYMOUS wants to play again.

I just had a comment left on my email from a "lady" who frequents my blog from time to time.

It seems she lives in my city, and has attended many softball games here, and is friends with and "hangs out" with the druggies down the street.

Apparently, she claims those people, she thinks I don't know, graduated from high school with 4.0's. Uh... I think not. Both of the kids were kicked out of a school last year, and, last I recall.

kids with 4.0's don't tend to get expelled from school, nor do they stay home all day long DURING SCHOOL HOURS, when they are 16 years old.

She claims... and I quote and am going to spell like she did (by the way... she got a 3.5 GPA and spelled like this...)

"I should write the BORED (not board) a letter and let them know that there are people like me on the BORED. "

She has her pilots LISENSE(not license) and I am lying about what goes on in the Snack Bar.

She, of course, spent every moment, evening and day working it with me and my wonderful

TRULY 3.5 GPA girls. (NOT!)

She obviously has the particular druggies I am mentioning all wrong.

NONE of them ever graduated from High School at all.

I have never mentioned names, or even described them... so, she is really stretching here.

She must know a LOT of druggies.

Oh, and by the way... 4.0 kids don't get arrested 3 times a year from the age of 12.

4.0 students are too busy studying and planning for college to get into too much trouble.

Brava for you for getting your pilots LICENSE...

I would get a big dictionary for your tests... you need it.

Thanks for commenting... but since I have you flagged, it went directly to my REJECT box.

Enjoy your evening... Miss. 3.5!

Oh, and by the way... next time you have something to say... have the cajones to SAY IT TO MY FACE!... everything I have ever said about the drug dealers on this blog, I have either said to their faces or had it written in a police report IN PERSON, that they read, with whatever grade level reading they have.

You might want to choose better friends, I am not the only person on this street with a problem with them, a full 7 out of the nine houses on this cul de sac have had more than one run in with them, and have called the police numerous times... so it isn't just me...

Miss Pilot. Boy, the skies are so safe with you flying, you illiterate fool.

***

OH! and anonymous, you coward, THIS IS MY BLOG. I CAN WRITE, SAY, TELL WHAT I PLEASE! I am NOT mentioning names, or describing ANYONE... so you have NO IDEA who or what I am writing about... start your own misspelled blog if you feel so strongly against mine, and mention my name even once, and I'll sue you for slander and defamation of character so fast your head will spin... Oh, you DID mention in your comment that you are over 18...

BRING IT ON!

Writers Workshop 8-12-09

List 10 things I would say to ten different people if I had the chutzpah...

***

"IF I had the Chutzpah" HA!!! THAT MADE ME LAUGH!!!

I always have the chutzpah to say what's on my mind!

It never occured to me to hold my tongue... which is why I am so frequently in trouble...

***

So... onward and upward shall we?

*

To my mail person. - "Hello, I know you work so very hard every day, and you drive that ugly little jeep every day, and it's hot, and they make you wear those knee high socks that make you look like you are trying to be a naughty Britney Spears... BUT... Please deliver my mail to me... even though my neighbor ALWAYS parks their car in front of my mailbox... I mean really,

what ever happened to "Through rain, or sleet or dark of night, the mail must get through"!!!

Has that been abolished by the USPS? Simply put your little Jeep into the PARKED position,

step out of the Jeep, and put the mail into the large, clearly marked, MAILBOX in front of my home. You KNOW you love the gifts I leave you at Christmas and Valentines Day...

so why do you leave me notes to move the car, when I TOLD YOU MANY TIMES that the car is not mine, but my neighbors? "Mr. Postman, send me my mail... send me the cutest mail that I've ever seen..."

***

I said this last week to my SIL - DO NOT MARRY A MAN THAT DOES NOT HAVE A JOB!

DO NOT MARRY HIM UNTIL HE HAS SECURED EMPLOYMENT FOR AT LEAST A YEAR!

You do NOT need to be the ONLY bread winner... he can work too!

DO NOT MARRY A MAN WHO HAS TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY... THAT IS NOT LOVE, IT'S INSECURITY AND IT GETS OLD REALLY, REALLY FAST!

DON'T MARRY HIM!!!! (after she called to inform me and my hubby that she was getting married to an unemployed, unmotivated, man.

***

To my Mama: LEAVE THAT man you are married to, and let us support you and take care of your living arrangement! He is a DEAD BEAT! He's not nice to your Grandkids, and is just plain weird!

{Boy, I have some issues with married people huh? But why? I'm married!}

{Wait... I already said this to her too!}

***

To the Drug Dealers down the street - We are all still watching you. Your business may have slowed down when the new high school construction started, and after your last arrest... but we will never rest until you are off our street... Oh, and tell your drop out, tatted up, druggie sons to stop "pretending" to try to run my kids over when my kids are riding their bikes I know you have no money, no insurance, and can't afford court fees if ANYTHING, EVEN ONE HAIR on my kids head is harmed. You are dirt bags, trailer trash scum buckets that will NOT win... ever!

***

To my Mama and Papa... oh how I wish you hadn't gotten divorced when I was 22. It was so very difficult on all of us. I wish my kids could see their Nonno and Nonna TOGETHER, at the same time. All our lives would have been sooo different. Bill feels the same way about his parent's divorce too.

***

To Bill, I love you. You are the BEST man I have ever met... hands down. BUT... I am putting a moratorium on you doing anymore construction projects on this house as long as I am living in it.You are just plain too slow. I know you know what you are doing, and, yes, you do it better than anyone else... but I can't wait a year for a new bathroom. I just can't.

***

To the lady at Costco checking my reciept at the door - YES, I HAVE TO USE THE RE USABLE BAGS! That does NOT mean you need to REMOVE my items from said bags to make sure I'm not smuggling the extra gargantuan sized laundry detergent out in my reusable bags... Deal with it... I don't steal, and you don't need to remove my goodies. Just mark the stupid receipt and let me on my merry way. Thank you.

***

Hey buddy! TEXTING WHILE DRIVING IS AGAINST THE LAW IN CALIFORNIA! Oh yeah... buckethead... IT ALSO DANGEROUS!!! There is a special place in hell for you!

***

To the idiot in the car next to me BOOMING his $10,000 stereo in his $500 Sentra...

Are you freaking kidding me? My fillings in my teeth are rattling! The metal on my car is shaking, and you look incredulous when an ambulance comes whizzing by you, and YOU ARE MAD AT THE DRIVER? You deaf doornail... TURN THE STEREO DOWN AND GET INVOLVED IN YOUR DRIVING!

***

That's it. I only have 9.

Whew... that felt good. I can feel my blood pressure lowering now.

Breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out...

HEY... GET YOUR DOG OFF MY LAWN, HE CAN POOP ON YOUR LAWN!!!

Ugh... I can't win...

Let's Do Lunch!

Bill and I have started on a new eating plan about a month ago.

Instead of having our large meal in the evening, we are having our heavier, larger protein rich meal at lunch, and eating as much juicy, delicious, good for us fruit as we can handle for breakfast and dinner.

It's working out great, Bill has lost 23 lbs and I have lost 20... in 5 WEEKS!

I read about this way of eating in First Magazine, and bought the book it was touting called

"Let's do Lunch".

There's no dairy, wheat or sugar, and we've NEVER felt better.

Bill, of course, cheats like crazy and STILL loses pound after pound.

I haven't cheated even once.

So as you can imagine, my grocery shopping habits have changed dramatically.

I still buy milk, yogurt and cereal for the boys, and I am still making fresh, homemade bread every single day, but I am buying BOAT LOAD of fresh veggies and fruit now... wwwaaaayyyy more than we used to, and I used to buy a lot of fruits and veggies.

***

I have a REAL problem with it.

It irks me to no end!

I have NEVER gotten pissed off while grocery shopping before our new way of eating.

Wanna know what I'm so mad about?

Well... I'll tell you!

***

Why is it... that one can buy an entire mountain of fat laden, chemical garbage filled

CHIPS, SODA, AND OTHER JUNK FOOD for pennies...

and... and... .and...

a small fortune for FRESH fruit, veggies and beans?

WHY????

I never realized how unbalanced the whole junk food/good food prices were...

I rarely purchased chips and dips, but on occasion some not so healthy things would fall into my cart.

Why isn't all fruit and veggies on sale ALL THE TIME!

***

A lady in front of me in the store was paying her groceries with food stamps.

No problem...

I got a little bold, and quietly asked her if she was allowed to purchase fresh veggies and fruit with her card. She had chips, white bread, soda, frozen burritos, punch, milk, otter pops, ice cream, and frozen dinner packages.

I wasn't trying to embarrass her, and I knew, from how she answered me, that she took my question the way it was intended... as a curiosity of mine.

She said..."Yeah, I can... but these things allow me to buy more for a longer period of time... fresh fruits and veggies eat up my allowance too quickly. I'd love to buy apples, and grapes and oranges for my kids, but they go bad so fast, and I only get three oranges for 4 bucks."

I felt so badly for her.

Unfortunately, she was right... sorta.

Her total for about 5o items was just under $100.00 on her state card thingy.

I had 12 bags of fruits and veggies, and my total was 57.00!!!!!

Tell me that isn't highway robbery!

I bought her and her kids a huge watermelon and told them to enjoy...

she couldn't accept it, because it wouldn't fit into her refrigerator.

Sad... huh?

So I went home with 4 instead of our normal 3 watermelons...

Yes, I really do buy that much watermelon... especially when it's on sale for 15 cent a pound...

yeah! SOMETHING WAS ON SALE!!! But only for a week... then it goes up to 15 bucks per watermelon...

So dumb... they have to throw out the bad fruits and veggies that don't sell...so why not just

make a deal with the growers that they need to make better deals!!!

***

Either way, I feel soooo great on this eating plan. I don't miss bread.. and if I really, really had to have a sandwich... I could... just in moderation...

**

Time for me to go and "make' dinner, sliced watermelon, plums and fresh blueberries!!!

Yum!

Rain... Rain... don't go away...it's been dry so many days...

Alex gets up this morning, goes into the living room, looks out the window and asks

this question...

"Mom, is it EVER going to rain again?"

It's been 6 straight months without rain...

We live in So Cal... remember the song?

"It never rains in California..."

Well, we are living the song.

Are we sick of the sun?

Heck no... I'm not...

but a little variety wouldn't hurt.

I've officially put in a request with God to please make it rain every Wednesday.

So far, no go.

I'll keep trying.

People keep telling me how much He likes hearing from me.

I kinda like talking to Him too.

***

Hey, maybe if enough of us put in the same request... it'll happen!

Try it for me.

Just Wednesdays.

Every week would be great.

Thanks!

Sleepovers

My kids LOVE to have sleepovers.

LOVE IT!

Why?

Probably because I don't allow them to sleep over at other people's house.

Why?

Cuz I said so... that's why!

I have this deep seeded fear that, even though I know the parents of the kids, and like them very much...I just have this uneasiness about the things that can go on while under someone else's roof that would never go on under mine.

Case in point...

Alex got a text at 2 a.m. a couple of weeks ago, asking him to SNEAK OUT of my house, and meet the two boys at the DONUT SHOP in town.

Obviously, Alex said "No way!" (I saw the text)

Yesterday, during a team party at a waterslide park nearby, my Hubster got the 411 on the entire scenario.

It seems the two boys were having a sleep over at a boy who lives with his Grandma's house.

(The boys asks Alex to stay over ALL THE TIME)

They snuck out at 1 a.m., jumped fences, walked 3 MILES at night, to the donut shop, and were trying to recruit others to join them on their little adventure.

The COPS saw the boys, took them into custody, and drove them to their homes.

The Officer had to BANG on the door for 5 minutes straight to get the parents to come to the door. The parents weren't even upset... just rolled their eyes.

ROLLED THEIR EYES!!!

NO FREAKING WAY I WOULD ONLY DO AN EYE ROLL IF AN OFFICER WERE DROPPING OFF MY SNEAKING OUT KID!!@!

I would probably tell the officer to take my kid straight to Juvey for the night, and see how he likes it. I totally would.

Scared Straight... my personal favorite way of teaching to stay on the straight and narrow.

***

Recently, a friend of mine just posted that a friend of her's son, 14, just died from playing that

choking game at a sleepover.

SEE!!! Too much stuff goes on when these kids get together with no parental supervision.

When my boys have sleepovers... there is no door closing in the bedrooms, and they all sleep in the living room, where I can hear, see and monitor everything. I have someone else's kid in my care, I need to be doubly safe and make sure all is on the up and up.

***

The only thing I hate about sleepovers, is I don't sleep well, and I can't go braless around the house... like I normally do.

Yes, I can scratch my "girls" at my knees... BUT IT IS SOOOO COMFY!!!!

***

This particular child we have with us today and last night... is a joy to be around...

helpful, kind, honest... BUT A PICKY EATER!

I made homemade, SCONES this morning for breakfast for them, and he didn't like them.

He had cereal while my men feasted on scones.

I don't care that he didn't like them... I even told him to tell me and if he didn't like them, he could have cereal... no problem...

But the last time he spent the night, we have HOMEMADE RAVIOLI... {{who doesn't like HOMEMADE PASTA????}}}

He put... he put... wait... I need to not cry right now... he put... Sniffle sniffle...

RANCH DRESSING ON MY RAVIOLI!!!

That's like going to Paris, ordering Escargot and asking for Ketchup, like Lucy did.

You should have seen my boys eyes... when that bottle was turned up side down to BATHE the Ravioli in white, oooey gooey grossness.

I said nothing, and made a mental note that this sweet, unassuming child, has a dead pallette and is a picky eater.

I gave him his first taste of Mango one morning.

This morning he said he has never seen a plum before, and tried it and loved it.

I didn't even try to feed him lunch.

I took them all to In N Out.

My work here is done.

Writer's Workshop 8-6-09

Diagnose yourself...What sort of syndrome do you have?

That's the Writer's Workshop Question I picked.

***

As you probably already know... I tend to have Foot IN Mouth Syndrome.

I am also getting a touch of the "Because I just said so!" plague,

and I think I might have a chronic case of Mama Tourette's.

***

I know, I know... all of YOUR kids are perfect.

You love the summer time with your angels sents from heaven on white puffy clouds,

all the squeals of delight when the food jar is open, Sesame Street is still a staple in the house, there is still a "bathtime" and "naptime", and just taking away something simple like...

a toy, or having a time out will suffice in the punishment area.

Oh... those days are fleeting ladies... enjoy them now... don't blink, as the song says...

because soon... they are TEENS!

***

Don't get me wrong...You all know I am a VERY "no nonsense" Mama, and don't (won't) tolerate much in the way of disrespect or talking back. I have basically pretty good boys, so far...

I keep a pretty tight leash on 'em, that's for sure.

But holy crap...I really and truly feel they need me more NOW than they did when they were babies!!! Babies are pretty resilient... feed 'em, change 'em, bathe 'em, love 'em, play with 'em and that's the basic day... pure joy!

But teens... they need, or think they need, sooo much!

Cell phones, Ipods, computers notwithstanding... they are emotional mind fields... YES... even boys! Whoever said that only girls go throught hormonal upheavals, either clearly only have daughters, or are just plain ignorant.

The problem with boys and their hormones are... THEY DON'T TALK at first! You have to pry everything out of them, no matter what it is! Once they get going it's okay... but initally, they are tough to crack! Girls talk incessantly about anything and everything... (I adore my nieces... but holy cow... only for an hour or so...

then I just want a very, very LOOOOONG Island Iced Tea.

***

Boys don't know whether they are coming or going at the tender age of 13 and 15. Their feet are too big for their bodies, they grow every single day, their faces erupt, they eat double their weight in cereal every morning, and take to drinking out of the gallon milk jug.

On top of that... GOD FORBID A GIRL COMES INTO THEIR VISION! Then they

can't even talk and walk at the same time!

The bedrooms doors are closed more than they are open these days, and I hear lots of whispering between brothers.

***

I thank God above my boys, are so far, very, very, very open with me... and I with them.

I have no problem at all talking about sex, their changing bodies, girls etc...

So far, it doesn't occur to them to be embarrassed about any of it when talking with me or Bill.

I always add in the addendum that intimacy should be a very, very, very long way off for them, and to not even consider it in high school. I tell them stories of the troubles and worries of being too intimate too soon, especially in high school. Let's hope they heed our warnings and, eh.. er... um.. BRAINWASHING!

***

So... back to my syndrome, plague, and Tourettes!!!

I repeat, threepeat, eleventypeat, myself a zillion times a day.

I HATE REPEATING MYSELF!

I KNOW kids have SELECTIVE HEARING... but come on!

But why is it they ALWAYS hear me when Dinner's ready, or it's time to go to a party?

Why?

***

My Foot in Mouth is even worse.

Because we are so open at home... I forget my boys don't want me to be so "Open" in public.

So, yeah, a couple of times, I slipped a piece of info in public that was meant to stay at home.

I truly just slipped... and have really tried to watch myself since then.

It took a little while to gain back their trust.

It wasn't earth shatteringly embarassing, but it was enough... poor guys...

***

My Mama Tourette's is awful.

I find myself talking to myself, saying words at random, just to blow off steam.

Sometimes I get so steamed, I literally start to twitch.

When I told the Pediatrician, he laughed... I expected a prescription.

He laughed again.

I gave him the Italian Eye.

I'm almost done with his VooDoo doll.

Once, I was driving the kids to school, and I started to just rant, talking to the windsheild, talking in third person, having a complete two way conversation with myself...oblivious to

my staring boys.

They informed me they were in the car with me... and I snapped out of it.

I totally forgot they were there.

When they stopped laughing, William put his hand on my shoulder and said...

"Mom, you need to go home and take a long nap... You need some "you" time..."

William gets everything in the Will... when it's my time to head to the pearly gates.

That was a sweet thing to say.

Not 5 seconds after he said that, they started arguing again.

My boys are not the classic first born, middle child, and baby.

They all act like the Alpha Dog, and first borns.

I gave birth to three first born children.

THEY don't have the syndromes...

ONLY I DO!

***

Does Calgon work?

Does it really take you away?

Our beach day...

We went to the beach Friday, to celebrate William actually having a few days off from school and Football for the summer.

It was lovely. The weather was cool, it wasn't too crowded, traffic was at a minimum thanks to my Fastrak.

But you know... with me... there's ALWAYS something...

*

So there we are... we find the primo parking spot, unload the boogie boards, wetsuits, ice chest, umbrella etc...

and we scope out the spot we want to reside for the rest of the day.

We found a place away all by ourselves, so the boys could boogie board without having to

dodge any little kids.

Of course, more and more people started trickling in. No problem. It wasn't crowded, and

it was very enjoyable.

Until about two hours in.

*

Now... I'm ONLY 41 years young, it wasn't THAT long ago that I was a teenager.

I LOVE MUSIC... all kinds.

Everything but cop killer rap.

I also like music at the beach. HOWEVER... I do NOT enjoy listening to someone else's

EAR SHATTERING, WOOFER AND TWEETER POUNDING, MAKE MY HEART stop,

music at decibel level : SOUND BARRIER! music.

*

These "kids" be bopped their way over to where we were, set down their junk, set down the boom box set to SHATTER GLASS, and jumped into the ocean... WITH THE BOOM BOX STILL ON. I couldn't hear my phone ring, I couldn't hear the ocean, I couldn't hear anything else but

that stupid box!

So... I did what every other self respecting 41 year old would do.

I walked over to the box and switched it off.

Do you wanna know what happened?

People around us started clapping!

The "kids" came running out of the water yelling at me,

and asking what the "F" I thought I was doing?

I told them, very quietly and slowly, that the music was entirely too loud, and if you can't hear the ocean with your radio on, you can't hear the lifeguard if she makes an announcement.

I looked around at the clapping audience I had, and all their heads were down, pretending they didn't hear the music. Cowards.

The "F" bomb kid told me to move if I didn't like it, they he had every right to play his music as loud as he wanted, AND... AND.... AND.... he said he couldn't help it if I was too old to appreciate his kind of music!!!!!!

OOOOHHH REALLY!

So, I told him his Mama didn't do a very good job teaching him to be respectful of others.

Okay!

Remember that movie? "Fried Green Tomatoes?" Where the two ladies were in the parking lot, and the little twenty something stole the parking space from Kathy Bates?

So Kathy Bates rams her car and says... "I'm older and I have more insurance?"

Yeah... I totally channeled that movie.

I informed the Rude One that I, too, had a killer boom box, one that I paid for ALL AT ONCE, and didn't have to SAVE MY ALLOWANCE to buy, that was insured under my HOMEOWNERS POLICY, and could be replaced immediately without my having to work a double shift at

Idiots R Us to repurchase. If he would like, I would be happy to go get it out of my car, and would LOVE to play OPERA or COUNTRY on it, and I was SURE it would drown out his

crap.

Yes, I engaged.

I know I shouldn't have...

BUT HE CALLED ME OLD!

I'M NOT OLD!

INSIDE... I'M STILL 19, AND YOUNG, AND BEAUTIFUL, AND SMART... AND HAVE PATIENCE! (okay, so I've never had patience...3 out of 4 aint' bad)

*

The rest of his crew came out of the water, AND STOOD UP FOR ME!!!!

They said to Sir Mouthalot, "Dude, we told you to turn it down! We're in public man!

You can't do that Sh** at the beach!"

Apparently someone informed the lifeguard on duty, and she came over and asked what the problem was. I said nothing, wanting Sir Stupido to answer.

(I once heard the one not talking was the one in charge of the conversation, so I decided to try it out... it worked!)

Stupido told her it was a misunderstanding, and he wouldn't play his music anymore.

The lifeguard said she heard it, and it was entirely too loud, as was going to come over and turn it off if she hadn't seen me already do it. She then informed him that yes, it was a public beach, but that didn't mean he could do whatever he wanted. There were kids around, and everyone needs to hear their parents, screams, announcements, etc...

THEN she told them to move their stuff to the other side of the lifeguard station.

They moved, and everyone apologized EXCEPT Senor Jerko.

No matter.

*

But I'll tell you what!

Those COWARDS that don't want to 'GET INVOLVED' that had the audacity to clap when the music was turned off, but made like Ostriches when push came to shove?

Well, one of them had the balls to ask me if I could watch their stuff for them while they swam...

and... my being a stubborn, old school Italian, said... "Uh, really? You expect me to run after some dude if your stuff gets swiped, but you can't speak up over music?"

He just stood there, mouth open, incredulous.

He asked someone else.

OF COURSE I KEPT AN EYE ON HIS CRAP!!!

The other people left (and they said they would watch it), but I didn't let him know I watched it.

Yeah, I'm gangta like that.

*

It's tough being an opinionated, judgmental, respectful, overbearing, domineering wife and mother...I just wanted a day at the beach!!!

Sheesh!