Deanna RETURNS TONIGHT! The Bachelor

WHAT TO DO! WHAT TO DO!

Deanna is coming back to disappoint me tonight, and, I'M AFRAID TO SAY...WILL NOT

BE THROWING A WRENCH INTO THE WHOLE PLOT THAT IS

The Bachelor!

{{sniff, sniff}}

That is my guess... that she will not be asking for Jason's heart... just to give advice.

I Hate ABC. They have toyed with me. They have used me and abused me.

Alas... I will still be watching my beloved Trainwreck TV this evening.

After I do my work...

untie the kids and let them eat today... check

kick hubby off couch before he becomes a part of it.. check

cook these... check...

Mmmmmm... homemade breadsticks to go with our veggie soup for dinner,

get the kids to bed EARLY... double check... (is 3 p.m. too early?)

Sit down and WATCH THE EPISODE OF ALL EPISODES!

Yeah... I know... I have SUCH a glamorous life. Aren't you all jealous beyond reason?

Move over Paris Hilton... I'M gonna be the trainwreck IT girl from now on...

I'll be back tonight with the tasty recap!!!

I can't wait!!!!

Small Talk Six from MomDot!

6 most romantic or unromantic things that have ever happened to you.

Romantic - My husband couldn't wait for our 10 year Anniversary to give me a new diamond ring, so he ran down the driveway with the ringbox in his hand and gave it to me, just before I left on a small business trip.

***

Unromantic - for my 39th birthday.. he didn't call me all day, and he got home late from work, and in his arms were a box with a computer printer and a box with an external hard drive.. put on the table, wrapped in the best buy bag, and he said a small "Happy Birthday" and a "Whew... I almost forgot." yeah... he couched it that night. I would have rather gotten nothing and card.

***

Romantic - Getting up every night with each of our sons, taking them out of the crib, changin their diaper and bringing them in to me so I could nurse them in bed. For a solid year.

***

Unromantic - forgetting my Birthday, and going out with is Uncle to lunch.

***

Romantic - buying me the fixings for Shirley Temples and Thrifty Chocolate Chip Ice cream when I was craving them when I was preggers, at 4 a.m.!

***

Unromantic... WHO CARES... HAVE YOU SEEN ALL THE GREAT THINGS HE'S DONE?

This list is OVER!

Happy Valentines Day!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

While it's still early in the day, I thought I'd share some ideas of how to make the day special

without breaking the bank...

1. Make heart shaped food today...

a. Piped red food coloring dyed Mashed Potatoes into hearts.

b. Make heart shaped pancakes

c. Heart shaped cookies

d. You get the picture...

***

2. Put little notes all over the house for your loved ones to read.

a. You make me happy!

b. I love you!

c. You make my heart sing!

d. You get the picture...

***

3. Start all your sentences with "I love ya"

a. I love ya... could you get the laundry for me?

b. I love ya...Dinner's ready!

c. I love ya...let's go for a walk.

d. You get the picture...

***

4. Fold your Love's bed clothes (assuming he/she wears them) into a heart on the bed like Cruise ships do.

a. You get the picture...

***

ENJOY!

Bill and I never do anything more than give each other a cute card...

but I may try a couple of these things I made up today.

You get the picture...

My son is in Like... part 2

PART 1 IS THE POST BELOW THIS ONE...

So... here is my advice... unsolicited as of right now... but hopefully he will heed it when necessary.

Dear William... my wonderful son...

***

I understand you like a girl, and may have questions. I have answers.

Be careful of her feelings. You are / may be her very first boyfriend. Be one that will help her set the standard for what she wants in a future husband. I know it sounds like a lot of responsibility, but matters of the heart are never easy, or to be taken lightly... which is precisely why it is better to be older than 14 or even 18 when going down this particular path.

Being older will help you better handle the rush of feelings you WILL have... being older will help you deal with issues still very, very foreign to you. In my personal opinion... be friends with lots and lots of different girls and have a great time platonically, so there are no worries during your precious, carefree high school years. Practice being a great guy, before being a great boyfriend.

***

1. Never put a girl down. They are fragile when they are teens. What you say can have a profound effect on her. You don't want to be the one that helps her have a horrible self esteem.. do you?

***

2. Build girls up, but only if you truly mean it. Empty compliments make for empty feelings. Tell them they are pretty if you think they are... but not too much.

Being oversensitive isn't an attractive trait to most women. If you don't have anything nice to say... be quiet.

***

3. Boys and girls will argue. It doesn't mean the relationship is over. Be careful not to get venomous. No need to get personal on looks. Don't go there. Focus on the problem... not the person. This will carry through a lifetime of sorrow if you follow it.

Because you are teens, your emotions are on overdrive, learn to keep them under control and reign them in. Allow yourselves to be young for a loooong time, and don't act on hormonal impulses. Don't you eventually want to make the choice of your future wife, and not have circumstance make that choice for you?

***

4. "I love you" are three incredibly powerful words. Don't waste them in your youth.

When you have a girlfriend, she will appreciate if you open up to her.

Make a pact with your future girlfriends that those three words are forbidden when you are both this young. Pick three other words to express how much you like each other such as...

"Bob's your Uncle"

or

"Hearts are Red"

or

"Sky is Blue"

Trust me... it'll feel like your own little secret, just between the two of you... and it'll help take the pressure off of being too "adult" too soon. And by too soon, I mean anytime before marriage, buddy.

***

5. When a girl says "No" THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANS! No matter what you think her eyes, hands, body, mouth is telling you... NO... MEANS ...NO! Put your hands up and back away from the girl. NEVER EVER, EVER SAY THESE WORDS...

"If you loved me you would..."

I WILL KILL YOU! UNDERSTAND? NO... SHE WOULD NOT IF SHE LOVED YOU...

WHEN A GIRL SAYS NO... SHE IS CHOOSING HERSELF... APPLAUD HER FOR THAT!

BE PROUD OF HER AND TELL HER YOU TOTALLY RESPECT HER FOR IT,

even if you don't... Build her up, and take a shower. A cold one.

Do NOT make me a Nonna before you are married. Save yourself...

***

6. Please realize... I understand how powerful these feelings are and can be. I was a young girl too. I will never, ever, ever discount how much you feel. I will never call it Puppy Love.

I just need you to understand that NO GIRL, ever in the world, will be worth your life.

When and if you ever break up... IT WILL HURT... SOOOO MUCH! You will be sad. You will feel like someone kicked you in the gut.

You can come to me... I know what it feels like. I remember.

I am the ONLY girl IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, INCAPABLE of falling OUT of love with you.

Don't get serious until you know without a shadow of a doubt.

You will know.. when you know.

I promise you...

Please wait to know until after college and you buy a house, or we give you a house.

Please... use these teen years to have a great, platonic time.

I want the world to know that my sons were raised to be respectful of women.

Were raised to be supportive of women.

Were raised to be manly men who care for women.

Follow your Daddy's lead.

He is a great role model for you.

But remember...I am just a girl at heart. I know what those girls who like you are going through.

Unrequited "love" is tough...

I remember swooning over a boy who didn't even know I existed.

Be kind. Smile. Build up...

and stay a teen for as long as possible.

I love you...

I am here...

I will never break up with you.

Mama

My oldest Son is in Like.

I have been hearing the name Samantha*(name changed to protect the girl) around my house

lately.

Oh, Samantha and I read this book at lunch today... or Sammie was cold today, so she is wearing

my new jacket you bought me Mom... sorry, I'll get it back tomorrow...

or

Hey Mom, did you know Sammie was on the debate team at school and she won?

So I asked him a question... and Thank God I got the answer I was hoping for... but still

don't know...

I asked him... "So, this Sammie, is she your girlfriend?"

To which he replied..."Oh, Gosh no Mom, we are just super good friends... we were walking down the hall together at lunch today and and someone else asked us the same thing, and we both said

"No! Just friends!"

MMMmmmm hmmmmm.

YOU know and I know what "just friends" can turn into... right?

Yes, I'm talking to you... my blog buddies...

Last Friday, William asked me to wait for a minute after school, he wanted me to meet someone...

and it was Sammie.

She is adorable, tiny, very polite, smart and, I could tell, completely smitten with my son.

I can't blame the sweet girl... and I can plainly see why he is smitten with her too,

you just can't help but be drawn to a bright girl like that.

***

William will be 15 in May. In some ways, he is worldly, grown up, beyond his years, and in other wayS, the ways of the heart, he is naive, new, unsure and clumsy... THANK GOD ALMIGHTY!

Bill and I haven't allowed him to "have a girlfriend" yet. He has said as much to 4 girls this year at school. How do I know? The girls parents actually came up to me and thanked me for being strict with my son. Their daughters were writing his name all over their books, and taking pictures of him with their phones, and they werent' allowed to date either... it wasn't stopping them from acting like they could.

It was very flattering, sorta, to hear this about my son, but kinda weird too.

I was never as pretty as this kid is handsome... ever.

He is completely oblivious to his power and his looks... THANK GOD AGAIN!

When these girls were throwing themselves at him, he told them he couldn't date yet... and they spread the news throughout the school.

We didn't care.

It's a private Christian High School, they won't think it's too weird. and they didn't.

But the time is fast approaching when he will be needing to have outings and experience with girls, appropriate experience...I mean it.

I felt compelled to have several mini-talks with William while we were in the car alone together on the way home from school, or when he is off at 1 p.m. on Fridays and we have 2 hours to kill before getting his brothers.

The talks have gone rather well, with him telling me absolutely everything about Sammie, and the other girls he knows like him. He only has eyes for Sammie, it seems. He wanted my advice as to how to tell the other two girls he isn't interested, without just blurting it out, and without

Sammie knowing he likes her, because he doesn't want her to know he likes her...

(like she doesn't know) please!

My heart was singing! He is a caring, loving boy... who isn't a player!

Yahoooooo!

Let's hope it's always that way...

But I decided that it's time to let my manchild know he can come to me for advice without laughing or minimizing his feelings he will feel.

I want him to know that I have gone through the same things, and that I was once a 14 year old girl, and we aren't all that different, even after 25 years. I would hope that he would appreciate having a female perspective on some matters... since I am the only female in our home. So today, I wrote out some things I want to be sure to talk to him about, and I thought I would write them down in numbered format for him to peruse at his leisure.

I know... you all think I am a nutjob for thinking my son would ever read something like that...

but as he gets more aclimated to the boy/girl dynamic... I see his is listening to me more intently when I ask if he would like my advice on a matter of the heart.

Part 1 over...

Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow...

This post was getting entirely too long.

Mamakat's Writers Workshop

Writers Workshop Prompts.

~~~~~~~~~~

1.) What was the first CD (or record or cassette) you ever purchased? Write about the way that particular album made you feel then. Write about how it makes you feel now. writersdigest.com

***

2.) You were recently laid off. Instead of moping around, you've viewed it as a chance to start fresh. Pick a new career and write about your first day on the job.writersdigest.com

*** 3.) List your five most recent favorite things.

*** 4.) I'm hungry. Share your very favorite recipe!!

***

1. My first Album...

one of those great big 331/3 ones, that I actually purchased myself

... a giant licorice pizza...

ANDY GIBB!

I....LOVED.....HIM.

LOOOVVVVEEEDDD HIMM!

"Shadow dancing....honey you do it right...uh huh!" {{that was a song lyric}}

How did I feel about it? Ohhh! {{swoon}}

It was a giant picture of his perfect head, and I imagine him singing all the songs to me.

Then... gulp... I can't believe I'm admitting this... I would kiss that great big picture and pretend we were getting married. I adored him so.

Imagine my dismay and utter anquish when I found out he MARRIED Victoria Principal...

THEN DIED!!!

HE DIED!!! BEFORE I COULD STEAL HIM AWAY FROM STUPID VICTORIA, AND MARRY HIM... HE DIED!

Then... imagine my stupified face when I was told he was the BEEGEES younger brother!

OH THE HORROR!!! I was also in love with Barry Gibb, and my being 11 at the time.. didn't put two and two together that they both HAD THE SAME LAST NAME!!!

How does it make me feel now?

Sad actually. I NEVER hear Andy Gibb songs on the...GULP... "Oldies" stations.

Lots of other artists died, and they still play their music... but not my Andy's.

Maybe that evil, horrid Victoria, bought all the rights and kept him from me all these years... even in his death.... alas... I will never know.

For now... I will just have to sing "Shadow Dancing" in my head.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

MY FIVE MOST RECENT FAVORITE THINGS

1. Nivea Kiss of Moisture lip balm.

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2. Wall Words... I must own a million of them... I just haven't put them up yet!

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3. My new fabulous slippers. I wear them non stop... I want to wear them EVERYWHERE! Toooo comfy!

***

4. My new fancy schmancy hair stuff my Mama always buys me.

All state of the art, hottest new EVERYTHING... yeah... I know...

that last post WAS NOT a good example... I was desperate!!!

My gray grows in 3 measly weeks!!!

***

5. Scrapblog... I am still addicted. I have actually started a small business

making the books!

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Wanna join in on the fun?

Go on over to Mamakat's button to the right!

When related to a Hair Dresser... USE HER!!! ALWAYS!

To quote the fabulous Dolly Parton from my favorite movie 'Steel Magnolias'

"I don't like Dolores VanMeter, I don't like anyone that does their own hair... it isn't natural"

The above picture is EXACTLY why Truvy didn't like or trust Dolores.

MY MAMA IS A HAIR DRESSER... AND WHEN SHE DOES MY HAIR... THIS

NEVER, EVER, EVER HAPPENS!

and... by the way...

10 YEARS AGO... if it did run down my face... it never settled in lines and crevasses and went HORIZONTAL...

"Hi I'm Saundra, I'm 40 and it's fantastic... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!!"

LIES... ALL LIES... I TELL YOU!

Enjoy my mortification...

Have a happy day!

FINALLY DEANNA AND JASON REUNITE... NEXT WEEK!

OMG!!! Like... Jillian, like, said , like, like, 487 times. like... like... like...

If ANYTHING makes ANYONE sound not ready for marriage or up for raising a child...

it's ANYONE that says LIKE, LIKE A MILLION, LIKE, TIMES.... LIKE!

COOOOMMMMEEE OOONNNNNNN!

Enough already with the Valley Girl speech.

Perhaps I should have prefaced this post with the warning that I am

PMS'ING THIS WEEK... AND EVERYTHING PISSES ME OFF!

But I digress...

Ahem.

Trainwreck TV did not disappoint again... but THIS time... the trainwreck was not one of the bachelorettes... oh no! THIS weeks trainwreck award goes to

Naomi's creepy parents! Especially Mama! Woo!

That family probably has the men with straight jackets on speed dial with her around!

Holy Frijole!

So sad... she lives about 30 minutes away from me. I'm moving.

Yikes!

Where... upon meeting your daughters boyfriend (who happens to be cheating on her with 3 other women, on national television) does ANYTHING say it is okay to

ask said boyfriend to say a eulogy over a dead, wrapped bird, that you said

committed suicide in honor of the occasion, into your car. WHERE... I ASK YOU!

I was so happy to see that Naomi was appropriately mortified.

And Daddy... yikes...

I love me some Jesus... I am a believer and all that jazz... but to shove it down someones

throat within minutes of meeting someone, and then telling that someone that they should really think about accepting Jesus as his Lord and Savior...

What ever happened to actions speaking louder than words?

People will come to know Him by our lives...not our mouths...

Cuckoo!

Molly's Mom was TAME compared to Naomi's Indigo Adult Mama.

Did you see Jason's face when Naomi's Dad was preaching? Yeah... he was waaaay spooked.

***

Melissa's parents? Rude much? Yes, but to each his own. They never even went to her Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader games... so whatever.

She is still completely adorable, a little to addicted to the short shorts... (maybe still in Cheerleader mode), but her friends were very nice.

***

Molly...nice family... but she HAS to go next...I just know it.

***

THEN... THEN... THE PREVIEWS WERE THE BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE SHOW!

Deanna shows up in NEW FREAKIN' ZEALAND next week.

I can finally feel whole! Blossom to be the woman I was always meant to be...

Okay...I'll stop...

ABC finally heeded my nasty letters (none) and brought her to the show... FINALLY!

It's about freakin' time!

I wouldn't have watched past the first show if they hadn't played that tasty little morsel of

preview with Miss Deanna on it.

Ohh... they are goooood.

She makes him CRY!!!

She says she makes a mistake!

But wait... what if she says that just to help Jason not make the same mistake!

What if she is there only to help him... and NOT TO THROW A WRENCH IN TO THE MIX!

Noooooo!

I will have watched in vain!!!!

I know this does not make me popular with the people that ADORE this show and

believe that only true, long lasting love is found on this show...

Sue in "Colorado" (Ohio) LOL!

But... what great TV it would make if he CHOSE DEANNA INSTEAD OF THE OTHER GIRLS!

It would seal their fates of being tabloid fodder for years to come!

Gasp!

What if ... gulp... a bachelor... ACTUALLY GOT MARRIED...!

Then it would make all the other horrible pair ups on the show worthwhile... wouldn't it?

I mean... I believe this show will continue UNTIL a Bachelor ties the proverbial knot, and they can finally say the show worked.

Trina, Trisha? whoever,and the fireman don't apparently count.

Sooo...another long week... of waiting... bit bated breath until the return of

beloved Deanna... heartbreaker extraordinare...

{{sigh}}

Until next week...

Adieu... Adieu... parting is such sweet sorrow...

The Bachelor... Will Deanna finally show her face?

STAY TUNED FOR TONIGHTS EPISODE!!!

DUN... DUN... DUNNNNN!

The crazy dove lady, FROM THE FUTURE!!!

Melissa no show parents... OH NO!

Will Deanna FINALLY SHOW UP???

Did you see the list of questions from one of the Mama's? Yikes!

I'll be fast forwarding all the commercials to blog about it as soon as possible...

STAY TUNED!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE POST HEADER I MADE FOR IT?

***

***ETA..

It's hailing right now... outside...little round pellets of hard ice...

How do you guys do it with snow!!! I'm having a cow knowing I have to drive in this rain and hail, and don't want them to dent my precious car!!!

Yikes!

It's been raining for 4 days... I love it... we need it... but HOLY COW... ENOUGH ALREADY!

Open Letter to Citibank

Dear Citibank,

I have been a member of our bank for 10 years now, and I have a couple of questions for you.

Before I get to those questions... I would like to reiterate some things I have noticed on my account.

I bank online, and it says on my statement, that I will be charged if I show up in person to deposit, withdraw, or even have a question for any living, breathing human being.

Really? Are you going to go there? Is that the money you spent when you bought your

5O MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATE JET last week?

You asked the Feds... hell, you asked ME for a portion of the bailout money Bush gave out in December, (I will be helping foot the bill whether I like it or not), and you spent 50 MILLION DOLLARS on a plane. Seriously? Did you go to Idiot University? What part of EVERYONE WILL FIND OUT AND CALL YOU OUT ON IT... didn't you understand?

You are just as bad as those Auto Guys showing up to beg for money in Gulfstreams... yeah.. rocket scientists...all of you.

So...I have a couple of questions for you...

Since I am part owner of your new Luxury Aircraft... I have three kids, and they all have birthdays coming up... and since I now own a new plane... I thought it would be great if you brought it here to California for us in May, June and July. Yep... you read that correctly... I'm gonna make a TIMESHARE outta the deal. You keep my money in your bank... use it to loan to dead beats like you have for the past 8 years, and I get to use the plane at my three boys birthdays. Sound like a plan? Don't worry. We'll be just as responsible with IT as you have been with our money. We'll fly down to Rio during Carnivale, or maybe to NYC with their closest friends to take in a great dinner and show and maybe a Yankee's game in the new stadium.

We'll make sure and have chocolate cake and ice cream on your new leather seats, and I might even make them clean it up... but I'm sure there is onboard staff for that sort of thing.

My second request is for my Anniversary. It's in October, and we usually go to our Timeshare in Vegas... but this year... I hankerin for a week in Hawaii. It's been so long since we've been there, and since you are gonna have your hands full with audits, and transparency under the fabulous Obama, you won't have time to use it...

So... Citibank... you've taken my money for asking questions, you've taken my money instanteously and erroneously and not given it back for weeks, at times... and now I am asking for a little payback.

The Gulfstream will do nicely. Thank you for that.

Oh... I'll be sharing this with other Citibank members, and I'm sure they have needs for the plane too.

Tootles!

Your co pilot and co owner of 50 million dollar plane...

Saundra