The Bachelor...Trainwreck TV at it's finest!

Oh Drama!

How do you spell it?

J-a-k-e / A-l-i!

25 minutes of waiting, a lower lip pouting, and bad ponytails, and eye rubbing, and Jakie Poo

practically telling her to "STAY... OR I'LL HAVE TO PICK HORSE FACED VIENNA to stay"

all to end up with...

"I have to go".

Her job called and gave her the ole' ultimatum.

I swear, I think it's a ploy.

The stupid job people KNOW ahead of time, their employee is going on this God forsaken show...

Why ask her to leave it?

So dumb!

Maybe they assumed she wouldn't get this far, and had to rethink their permission slip.

OR...

Maybe they saw how well that worked out for Ed last season, and they thought they'd try it again!

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Oy vay... did you hear the voice over's as the ladies were ushered into the rose ceremony?

There was some creative dubbing going on there... especially when Vienna came into view...

Whew... ABC dodged that proverbial bullet... huh?

I have a suspicion that Vienna was on her way out before Ali dropped the bomb...

Or Gia...

Ali was definitely a major contender, even with all the dub work for Vienna, I think it really bugged Jake that Vienna can't/won't get along with other women.

Helloooo... Jake's Mama is a woman!

Ya gotta kinda learn to get along!

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I loved Ali for snore bore Jake.

She was right up his alley (haha or Ali! I made a joke!)

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So next week they are off to St. Lucia, and it's more bikini's, shaved pecks and boobs.

Oh joy.

Ali makes a suspicious call while Jake is in his room... but it's just a teaser... she probably calls to dis on Vienna again...

I would LOVE it if that happened...

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I'm in a mood.

I didn't even watch Tenley's hometown visit, and couldn't handle much of Gia's.

I love my fast forward button.

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I'll never get those last two hours back...

Good thing I was folding laundry and making coffee and helping William with his homework while it was on... or it would have been a complete waste of time!!!

Pizza

Ya think I made enough pizza for the big game?

What I learned this week II

Thing I learned this week...

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1. It's really not a good idea to sit on the same side of a basketball court as the opposing team, even if a long time friend is there. It's really, really, really hard not to punch the other parents in the face for talking smack about your son's team.

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2. If you take off after waiting for your 13 year old to decide to come to car pool after 20 minutes, and leave him at school for a few hours while you shop... he won't make you wait again.

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3. I'm not as "cool" as I think I am. When I talk to my son's friends at school... and we laugh and banter... my middle son tell's me they are only being polite to me.

Nice huh? He, unlike the other two... will be moving out of my home the day he turns 18... (j/k) (maybe)

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4. Cutting "bangs" on my hair DOES NOT hide the gray streak hiding underneath it. What was I thinking?

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5. Making sourdough starter is a long, babysitting process... but soooo worth it!

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So that's what I learned this week.

Okay.. so it's not earth moving stuff...but I learned them anyway...

Maybe next week I'll have learned how to cure a disease or something...

Writer's Workshop 2-3-10

Writer's Workshop Prompt for today, that I chose, IS...

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10 things I never knew until I became a Mom...

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10 THINGS ...

Hmmm....

1. I never knew how completely overwhelming the love I feel for those kids would be...

Never in my life, have I loved someone so much I would die for him... even my hubby... until I gave birth... and instantly... if it was a choice of death between me and the kids... I would choose my own death... (I think all Mom's feel this way) People always told me they felt this way... I just never knew it was REAL until William was born.

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2. Then they become teens... and all that drivel I said in number 1... yeah...it's all out the window now... LOL.. no... just kidding... sorta.

I didn't know, actually, how much I would LIKE my sons when they became teens... they are funny, witty, smart, a little too sassy at at times, and really developing into people I would want as friends... if they weren't my sons.

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3. How much laundry there would be. Seriously... I would totally rethink the "play every sport imaginable" if I had it to do all over again... and have them play instruments instead... less dirty clothes...

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4. I didn't know that not getting sleep at night DOESN'T END after the baby starts sleeping through the night. When they get older, the sleeplessness comes back... only the child isn't in the house with you... he's at a dance, and you worry, and can't go to bed until he's safe at home.. doors locked...Ugh!

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5. I didn't know how much I would start to sound like my Mother.

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6. I didn't know how much I would want to put my kids into a bubble, and never have anything harm them... ever.

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7. I didn't know how much it would hurt me, when someone else is hurtful to them.

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8. I didn't know how much I would want to HURT the person that hurt my kids...

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9. I didn't know how my Mom felt. Now I do.

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10. I didn't know I could be so proud, scared, elated, horrified, frantic, joyous,

disgusted, freaked out, loved, happy, giggly and worried..

ALL AT THE SAME TIME...

The Bachelor...Ali didn't wear yellow!!!

Edited to Add:

Jake cried.

Ali wore purple, instead of yellow.

Vienna did something REALLY unfortunate with her fake hair on Rose night...

Gia was adorable.

Tenley's voice wasn't AS annoying as it has been.

Cori admitted she's a virgin...

Jake was still like... "Oh gosh, gee willickers... yuck, yuck, yuck..."

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I wish now.. that I didn't know who Jake picks...

Because what he's doing still doesn't make any sense... and I know who he ends up with...

I wish Ali would stay...

but I believe her hatred for Vienna proved to be too much for her... and I just don't blame her.

***

I am so glad he kicked Vienna out of his room... it was kinda slutty of her... especially with Gia

on the same date... sheesh!

Her Mama didn't teach her an finesse or class...

She can't use youth as an excuse... I know a lot of really classy, respectful 23 yr olds...

ETA!!! Just saw on Reality Steve's blog, a picture of Vienna...WEARING NOTHING BUT A BURBERRY SCARF OVER HER TATA'S! Hellooooo... Ward and June aren't gonna like that in a prospective future daughter in law... !!!

Tacky... sooooo tacky!

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Jake is really, really "Leave it to Beaver".

It was a yawn fest tonight...

I'm gonna go read "Redeeming Love" in bed now...

Ciao!

You want him to shave WHAT?

Is it just me?

Am I the only one that is bothered by it?

Is it really necessary?

Wanna know what the heck I'm talking about?

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For the past year and a half, my almost 16 year old has been coming home and telling me the guys in the locker room keep telling him he needs to

SHAVE HIS CHEST HAIR OFF, AAAAAND HIS LEG HAIR!!!!

Really?

Are we ALL gonna be women now?

There is no water polo at his school... so that's not an excuse...

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William has no intention of shaving... he doesn't care what they say... he just tells me because he hears it every day... and he thinks it's funny.

I THINK IT'S WEIRD!

I guess I'm old school... but if a man has chest hair... well then... he has chest hair!

I would be very weirded out if my husband shaved his entire body...

I know some women really like that sort of thing... but... I like my men to look, feel and act like men. I even love my Hubby's "work" smell...

I call it "Money"... he doesn't laugh... I DO!!!

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Since when did even our young men become Metrosexuals?

Do the young ladies of the world REALLY want their men to spend as much time in front of a mirror as they do? Do the women want to WAIT ON THE MAN to get ready for a date?

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Another question...

WHAT ABOUT THE STUBBLE!

OUCH...

that's all I'm saying!

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I can see if the man has an extremely hairy back or something.. then yeah... take care of it...

but hair on the chest being shaved, or waxed... or whatever?

I. do. not. get. it.

AND LEGS! Who wants to see silky smooth man legs?

I happen to love the masculine"ness" of hair on a man.

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I also don't want my men getting clear nail polish on their hands, or facials...

I'm sorry... it's just wrong...

Take care of it at home... fine... but to see a professional about it on a weekly basis would make me feel like I am married to another woman.. and if I wanted to play for that team... I would!!!

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It's so WEIRD that the peer pressure my son is getting...in good fun... I've heard them rib him about it...is about hair removal...

I suppose it could be drugs or alcohol... and I am SOOO thankful it isn't...

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Any of you fans of hairless men?

Have camera... will shoot...

It's very helpful to have a camera on hand at any given moment, wouldn't you agree?

After Johnny's soccer game, after school, Bill noticed I had a big nail stuck in my one of my tires... so we went on over to Costco and took advantage of our Concierge service, and they fixed it no charge... and I did what any self respecting woman would do when in a Costco Parking lot... I shopped...

We finished shopping before the car was done... so we waited outside at a little table, facing due west.

These next three pictures were what I captured, with my zoom lens... from the Costco parking lot...

During a spectacular sunset...

that I would have missed... had I not had my camera...

Enjoy...

Things I've learned this week.

I am stealing this idea from Karen & Gerard over at My Funny Dad

so here goes...

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Things I've learned this week.

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1. Plungers should be used once, then discarded... enough said.
2. If you throw your teens clothes into the driveway... he will clean his room.
3. Being a newly baptized whole food nut is really annoying to other people.
4. If you hit a salad spinner too hard, it doesn't spin anymore.
5. Getting ready for the day at stupid o'clock in the morning, makes other people laugh... when you are wearing two different shoes and your shirt is inside out.

Writer's Workshop 1-27-2010

Writers Workshop over at MamaKat's

January 27, 2010

Todays prompt I chose is...

"Share one piece of great advice I received from someone who knows stuff"

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This one was easy.

First.. a little history.

I am a worrier.

From waaaay back.

I make the proverbial mountains out of molehills.

When I was 11, I stayed up every single night until 1 or 2 in the morning for a month, watching outside my window for intruders. Why? I have no IDEA!

Some kids have imaginary friends...

I had imaginary intruders.

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Enter... kids.

HOLY CRAP!

The worry really intensified...

On a whole other level....

It wasn't debilitating, but it was bad...

I had three kids under 5... and I worried all the time...

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Then, one weekend, we went to visit family in San Pedro, and my Zia (Aunt) and I were talking,

and she mentioned that my Mama had expressed a concern for my worry about my kids... my worry about every. single. thing, when I was away from them for any amount of time.

I was okay as long I was in charge and present... when I went anywhere without them.. I was a basket case... sooo dumb!

So... in her infinite wisdom.. she took my hand... and in her lovely... lilting... broken English, Italian accent she said...

"Sandra... no worry abouta nothinga! Goda... hea isa ina controla. Hea takea gooda carea you babiesa. You havea toa trusta Goda. Goda noa makea no junka. Hea lovea youa. Hea lovea youa kidsa. Leta Goda worrya. Youa justa havea toa enjoya thema."

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I don't know... to this day... what happened when she looking with so much love into my eyes... and holding my hand so tenderly, and really making me feel the care and understanding she had for me... but... I was instantly cured that day.

Sure I worry a little now... but not like before.

I don't know if it was WHAT she said... or HOW she said it... or THAT she said it...

but... from that day on.. I have felt a real peace.

What a gift.

***

Of course... as with everything... I gained a new problem... I started caring... for a split second... about what others thought of me... only for a second... like... maybe a month or two...

and during another visit, I brought up to her that I just HATED that I was so concerned that other people may be talking about me... it was so weird... I am sooo not that person.

and again... she.. in her infinite wisdom took my hand again and said these words...

{{I'll spare you the accent this time..it is implied}}

"Sandra... when you close your doors at night...and go to sleep... only worry about the people within those walls... THEY are the only people you need to care about... they are the ones whose opinions matter... Capisco?"

I did understand.. and once again, she had calmed the beast and made me see the light.

***

She is my favorite Aunt... and I have 12...

Zia Maddalena...

YOU are my sunshine...

I adore you...

My Mama is sooo blessed to have a sister like you.

Te' Amo.

>

The Bachelor...Where cliche's go to die...

Oh Jakey, Jake, Jake, Jake...

You really pulled an "Aw golly gee willickers, Beav... this one is hard to decide..." moment ALL NIGHT LONG!!!

First of all... ARM PATCHES ON A FLANNEL? Really?

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The night was just FILLED with cliche's!!!

"Make a connection"

"I get lost in your eyes"

(then he dumps her) nice.

"You are an AMAZING woman" (he said this to 3 of them) GAG!

"There's someone out there for you... and I'm not him" Uh... Duh!

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Ella...gorgeous though she is, he didn't like her... sent her packing.

Same with Kathryn... BUT NOT BEFORE making her believe she was getting a rose...

Oh Jakey... you are a sly one!

You are so okie dokie! Thumbs up dude!! {Snort snort!}

Puleeeze.

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I loved this guy last season...

This season... UGH!!! He can't be that boring!!! He just can't be!

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My favorite part of the show, was their going up the coast and staying in and at all the places I've stayed before... the Madonna Inn is awesome... and I practically lived in Pismo Beach as a kid growing up, we have land there and camped there often.

Other than that...

SNORE FEST!

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Vienna bugs the hell out of me.

I want to rip her extensions out, and she wears ENTIRELY too much makeup.

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And what was going on with the blue and green and yellow eyeshadow on that cute brunette?

I don't remember her name... but Yowza!

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I love how FIESTY Ali is... but alas... she is not long for the show...

She is the only one I like for Jake... because she, at least, has a pulse!

BUT... does she ONLY have evening wear in butter yellow?

The color does look great on her... but if I had a figure like those girls.. I'd either walk around naked all the time, or at least change my colors up a bit...

Maybe she's trying to stay consistent so bore snore Jake can pick her out of a crowd easily.

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Even though I loathed Michelle, she did make for some funny drama, with her Lithium needing ways...

"Can I get a martini with a shot of L Dopa? Please?"

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Every week, when I make myself watch this Trainwreck TV... I feel dirty, and like I need to punish myself like that monk in the Davinci Code...

It scares me that there are so many women out there like that in the world...

Ewwww....

I need a shower...