Writers Workshop 11-11-09

The Prompt from the Masterful MamaKat is...

Tell of a time you were glad you were you, and not someone else in the room.

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THIS is so timely for this week!

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This is sort of like the post I did the other day about "Do you know someone like this?"

but today I'm going to give specific incidences that made me so ultimately happy NOT to be anywhere near this person, or much less, BE this person.

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She always has a look on her face like she just smelled something awful.

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When she attends meetings of any kind, she feels the need to state her opinion, put down another member, or speak ill of other people's children.

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She is uber competitive... no matter what... hair, sports, being first in line, getting her way.

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If, God forbid, IF her children don't make an All-star team of any kind... she belly aches and stomps her feet and requests meetings with board members to rectify the situation.

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When confronted, she pulls the doe-eyed, "Huh? Not me?" look that is particularly out of place on her pinched face.

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She is ALWAYS looking for an angle to "Beat the system".

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She is the first to criticize some else's job, but is totally blind to the fact that she never shows up for hers.

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She would throw her own Mother under a bus, just so she doesn't get caught "Not following the rules".

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Do I know someone like this?

Yep.

And you know what?

Every single time I leave her presence, I feel great about who I am.

I feel so relieved I don't have to live in her skin.

Am I perfect?

Heck no.

I know I can be crass at times, and I interrupt people,

and I am always trying to fix that about me.

I don't pretend that my life is some perfect Wally and June Cleaver rerun.

I care about people outside my family, and try to have an attitude of servitude.

This lady is just the opposite of everything I stand for.

Many, many, many people in our community have written letters and have stated that they won't be a part of something because of this person...

I never understood it until this past two years.

I totally get it now.

And all I feel is sorry for her now.

Life is gonna be very, very lonely for her one day, if she doesn't change the way she is.

One's whole life can't be wrapped up in winning everything.

Learning how to lose is just as important... and I fear that her losing days are ahead of her...

and unfortunately, it won't be about sports...

She needs lots of prayers...

I will pray from afar, and have no further contact with her if I can possibly do it.

Sometimes ya just gotta clean out the garbage... ya know?

My plans for the Holidays.

Time for something positive!

Too much heavy stuff lately!

***

I get to start shopping for the Holidays soon.

I just need to rustle up a little more moola so I can get my hubby what he wants.

That's the only reason I'm a work at home Mama, so I can buy my kids and hubby nice things

from 'ME', with money I earned.

***

I love, love, love that my kids don't give me huge, laundry lists of items they want/need/require.

They are very aware of the private schools they attend, the places they get to travel to, and the fact that both their Daddy and I feel I need to still be home with them, therefore, the money tree isn't as abundantly fruitful for "things" in our house as it is in other households.

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My favorite part of the Holidays, is the prank Bill and I play on the boys.

It is truly a laugh fest the entire time we plan it out.

We always go out to dinner, just the two of us. I bring paper, pen, and lists.

Bill draws out schematics.

This year, since we will actually be spending Christmas at home, actually on Christmas Day...

I get to be even more elaborate, and sneaky, and rotten.

All for my giggly pleasure, of course.

My poor boys.

They know we do this every year... and they fall for it every year too... {{or they may just be really sweet, and let me think they are falling for it}}

We do change it up every year though.

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Last years prank, complete with pictures, was featured on Scrapblogs Friday Five a few months ago... it was sooo much fun!

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Last year, we did this and it was a riot! A vertiable riot... for me anyway! LOL!

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This year, I'm thinking of doing something along the lines of Chanukah, but of course, with a twist.

For instance, if Johnny wants a new DS, I may, on December 12, have him unwrap a pair of something that starts with "D", and then "S" the next day, then the next day, he may unwrap something that plugs in, or charges.

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If William wants an Itunes Card good for $100 worth of songs, he may get 100 pennies on Day 1, and then a really awful CD the next, and I may have him listen to some music on the third, and so on, until the crescendo of their actual gifts day is upon us.

A lot of work?

Yes.

A lot of head scratching?

You bet!

Making my kids squirm and think, and guess and feel the anticipation of what is to come?

Hell yeah!

***

These days... nothing is a surprise.

We know what a babies sex is before we are even pregnant!

Every kid makes the team, no one gets to make mistakes and realize life isn't always gonna go their way...

People are videotaping everything and posting it on You Tube, leaving nothing to the imagination...

By Gosh... I'm gonna have a little fun with my kids, and play pranks on them!

Truth be told... I hope they follow suit and start pranking me too!

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Another idea I had, is to get my neighbors involved in my kids gifts.

We have a great bunch of people on our street, and most of them have kids or grandkids living with them. Sooo... I was thinking, I make a bunch of edible goodies, wrap them up, and have the boys go door to door to deliver them. What the boys won't know... is that the neighbor will, in turn, be giving the boys a wrapped gift to take home for "us". What they won't know... is that those gifts are really the gifts we got them.

Of course, I haven't worked out all the kinks... or even asked my neighbors who will be home or not, or even if they are willing to participate, but if they are willing to do so, it could be really, really fun! Not to mention, a great way to brush up on door to door skills, and pleasantries 101.

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My mother hates that I do this stuff.

She thinks the Holidays should be just like everyone elses, wake up, scream, unwrap, and eat.

What she doesn't realize is that my boys LOVE to do things this way.

The kids have to have the right temperament for it.

They can't be spoiled, gimme gimme type kids.

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I just don't know how I'm going to sway the fact that there won't be any gifts waiting for them when they wake up early in the morning.

I have to think that one through... any suggestions?

Do you know someone like this?

Do you know this person?

I believe everyone knows at least one person like the one I am going to describe.

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You know him/her. We all do.

Whenever you see him/her he/she has a snarl on his/her face.

Whenever anyone asks him/her a question, he/she instantly looks for the "angle" and gives a snotty retort.

He/She keeps his/her eyes peeled for anything someone else is doing wrong, and will hurriedly and

repeatedly quote a rule from a book, so he/she looks good and angelic. After all, he/she can't be caught doing something wrong, he/she won't be able to get what he/she wants! And... what he/she wants is more important than anything else in the world... as long as it benefits him/her.

You know him/her.

We all do.

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You can ask him/her a question, or catch them in a lie or you heard something they said, and they immediately start honing in some other fact, and never really 'hearing' you when you repeatedly tell him/her you could care less about how, and care about a personal issue.

It is so disheartening when he/she doesn't hear the humanity of your plea, and only hears how she might get into trouble if he/she talks to you.

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People like that are so short sighted. They only see what they want, and could care less about helping someone else out.

People like that never apologize or give in, unless it benefits them.

People like that are blinded by winning, and never get caught up in denial and or acceptance, they only see "what in it for me and my family, screw everyone else"

People like that are over competitive.

People like that are living vicarously through their children, because they did nothing with their own lives of any merit and need to look good in the eyes of others.

People like that are constantly being bombarded with people trying to bring them down.

People like that are always belly aching about how they are always being dealt with injustice.

People like that make long drawn out speeches about how life isn't fair.

People like that have numerous people quit things because of them.

People like that hide behind the power of someone else.

People like that will turn a blind eye to someones horrible, mixed up ways, as long as it benefits him/her. The second the usefulness of that person is done, you are toast, and discarded.

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It is so nice not being one of those types of people.

I feel really, really sad for people like that.

It must be really hard to be a person like that.

I don't choose people like that as my friends.

Or even as my aquaintences.

***

Do you know anyone like that?

I did.

I'm done.

I feel a weight has been lifted from my back and my heart.

He/she may have won the battle, but in life... we will win the war...

The proof is in what you put out into the world.

If you put honesty and truth and honor into the world, you get it back.

Winning at all costs is no way to live.

***

But... I'm already a winner.

I'm not that person I just described, and that makes me exceedingly happy.

About last week...11-6-09

It has been a very interesting week.

Can someone say emotional rollercoaster?

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There were two significant deaths in the last week.

One, a lovely husband of our beloved Asst. Athletic Director at our small Prep High School my boys attend. He just died instantly last Saturday in his brother in law's front yard, just around the corner from my home.

It was sudden, and heart breaking, and Mama and I had the privilege of catering for his memorial on Sunday. The wife knows he is in heaven, awaiting her arrival until her work here on earth is done. He was only 60, and he left behind an adoring wife, and two lovely children, 21 and 16.

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A few days later, one of my Mama's best friends passed away after a fierce fight with cancer.

She was only 66.

She and my Mama did hair together at my Mama's beauty shop for about 25 years.

She helped me so much with my wedding, making sure everything was just so... and welcomed my babies with such loving open arms with each birth.

I will always remember Marla with such love and tenderness...

She was simply a lovely, kind, extremely talented woman, and she will be sorely missed.

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Just before that, the man a couple doors down passed away from lung cancer... I mentioned it before. All in one week... three deaths.

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Then this week, there was the dreaded Parent/Teacher conferences.

I don't dread them really, but come on... you only want to hear good things, and sometimes, at least with my men, I don't always hear all good things...

We are human, we are not perfect in this household, nor do I pretend to be.

Johnny got all A's, but has to learn not to correct the teacher's spelling or diction all the time.

Yes, some teachers make mistakes too... just because they are teachers doesn't mean they are perfect either.

To be clear, he and his teacher had a little tete' a tete' about the word "Hallelujah".

It can be and is spelled a lot of different ways, and I'm not altogether sure I just spelled it correctly.

But, Johnny got indignant about it, folded his arms and challenged her to "Look it up, then" when he WALKED UP TO THE CHALKBOARD TO ERASE AND FIX her apparent mistake.

She was laughing about it as she re told the story to me... Me? I wasn't laughing.

I was mortified.

I didn't start laughing about it until today.

The conference was Monday.

Yeah.

It took me a while.

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She really wanted me to laugh with her. She kept telling me how brilliant he is, and how she doesn't want to break that spirit he has, but if I could just help him to tone down his deep need

to correct everything.

She was really, really sweet about it.

She gushed about him.

I kept picturing him in deep do do when he got home.

He was gonna get the lecture of his life, and a restriction to match it.

I did not raise my men to be rude and disrespectful, and just because they may be smart and talented, does NOT mean they get to correct their superiors errors... at least not in front of others!

So, other than that, she tells me he is a delight, and she wants to have him test to jump to 6th or 7th grade... she feels there isn't much more she can teach him without stifling his love of learning.

The only thing holding us back... is his size.

He's not small for his age, but compared to 11 or 12 year old, prepubescent, voice changing, girl noticing counterparts... he is.

Sooo, I may have to homeschool him and have him go at his own pace. Public school is absolutely out of the question. He wants to be home schooled soo badly!

Me? Not so much.

I enjoy my days, sans children, at home. But... whatever he requires... I shall do.

So... we'll wait until after Christmas... see what happens... and maybe have him take some online courses concurrently.

There are so many options these days!

I love that education is so much more open and freely used these days. Not all kids fit the mold of traditional school... ya know?

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I got a cold on Wednesday, and am almost over it already today, Friday,thanks to Zicam.

Have you tried it?

IT. IS. A TRUE. MIRACLE.

No, they don't pay me to talk about it, but if they ever wanted to throw some free spray my way, I'd gladly take it.

It truly does what it says it will do... shorten the length and severity of any cold.

We take it religiously as soon as symptoms start... and a couple days later... we are cured!

Really, really awesome stuff.

That... and Mucinex DM.

So, I'm on my road to recovery already... ready for my weekend.

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So... that's been my week... I forgot to do my writers workshop for the first time in over a year...

but I was at my sons football games...

I love school sports programs.

They are so much fun!

Small Kindnesses warm my cold, cold, heart...

Johnny forgot to take his lunch today, and told me so while we were in Redlands, dropping his brothers off at their high school.

I NEVER have cash on me, and we were running late. I rummaged around my purse for

any semblance of money, to find none.

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Alex, my 13 year old, asks for a bag or piece of paper towel... something, so he can divide his lunch in half for his little brother.

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Yes, I started crying.

I'm still 14.

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He gets a new car...

Neighbor Nuisances... revisited.

I am so tired.

So very tired.

My lovely backyard neighbors thought it would be a great idea to GO SWIMMING at midnight, and drink, and smoke, and whoop it up, because his brother and Mom are in town from Boston, and apparently, to Bostonians, 60 degrees is WARM weather to swim in.

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I have soooo had it with them.

Bill poked his head over the fence and asked them to turn the music, talking, and lights down... to no avail.

Looks like I'll be calling the cops again more often.

Our backyards are very close together.

We live on a 16,000 square foot, shaped piece of land, where our back middle portion is shallow, while our flanks are deep and wide.

When they break wind, I can hear it.

When they smoke pot, I can smell it...

When they drink, I can hear them guzzle it.

I. Am. So. Done.

I'm thinking of letting my sons have a raging party during the week soon, and inform all my neighbors and the cops, except my backyard neighbors, and see how they like it.

They just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago too, and they just sit outside and party, and listen to loud music without any regard for their two children. I wonder how they would feel if their sweet baby was awakened a few days in a row during her naps or just as she was going to sleep.

Bet they wouldn't appreciate it one little bit.

I really would HATE to do that to a sweet little baby angel... but when Mama doesn't get any sleep, no one else does either...

They rent a room from the owner of the house, who lives there too, but works nights.

I want to buy that house sooooo badly.

I would sell my cars, my motorhome, my jewelry, to buy it out from underneath him, and have a some semblance of peace and quiet.

I would rent it out to only old people over the age of 80, who are deaf as doorknobs.

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I can be a really great neighbor.

I would watch your house for you...

Make sure you felt safe...

Keep an eye out for intruders if you were gone...

inform you when your garage door is open...

bring food over...

let you borrow anything you want...

Watch your kids...

Give you fruit from our trees... etc...

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But if you make me not get sleep, or are disrepectful of my feelings, and disregard our pleasantness in asking you to please turn the music down and keep it down...

I will resort to drastic measures...

This is my home...

my sanctuary...

If you disturb my peace... your peace will surely be more disturbed... by a knock on the door by a uniformed officer.

I will take notes...

I will make sure you go down...

I will spare no cost...

I will win...

End of story.

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See... I'm so tired... I'm cranky and persnickety.

To my backyard idiots...

KEEP IT DOWN... OR YOU WILL GO DOWNTOWN!!!

Writer's Workshop 10-29-09

MamaKat's Writer's Workshop, was, of course, all about Halloween.

The prompt goes a little something like this...

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Describe a favortie Halloween costume or moment you wish you had on video.

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Halloween.

I know I am not going to win any points or garner any friends with this next statement...

BUT... I don't enjoy Halloween...

As a matter of fact... I hate it.

Always have.

My kids have never dressed up for Halloween, and no, they don't mind nor do they care.

No, I'm not Jehovah's witness, nor am I an overly "Christian" person that thinks it is evil.

I once had a very, very bad experience on one particular Halloween night that involved an old man, apples and razor blades and pins...

Catch my drift?

That jerkoff actually stuck razor blades and pins into the apples he was handing out, and my stupid cousin that was supposed to be watching out for us, let us eat the apples before we got home. The jerk lived on my street!

He was arrested that evening, and never seen again...

But it left a lasting impression.

So parents... REALLY, REALLY, REALLY check that candy out.

There are a lot of sick people in the world.

***

THAT BEING SAID... I did have a job a long, long, long time ago... and it was kinda

mandatory to dress up for Halloween, especially if the boss was dressing up...

You remember office politics right?

Well, one year, I decided to dress up as the total polar opposite of myself...

but still a woman.

I donned a blonde wig, put on a tacky, skin tight floral trampy number on, and wore my highest heels, and way too much makeup.

The security guard wouldn't let me into my office. He kept saying I didn't work there...

Truth be told, I was totally playing the part of a floozy too, complete with too much chewing gum, and Jersey accent.

I had found my alter ego, and I was enjoying the time I had to be "her".

As the "Shewolf", I was able to sit on my boss's boss lap, and "vamp" the other male co workers without fear of sexual harrassment on my part...

I swung my hips, and laughed too loudly, bent over seductively and filed my nails at my desk...

It was tons of fun!

When another co worker came in as Sammy Davis Jr., everyone assumed I was playing the part of Marilyn Monroe, and we ran with it.

Then I started talking like Marilyn, and posing like her, and was asking where the air vent was...

I wish it was video taped for the sheer fact that my body was as tight and toned as it ever way then, and I used it that day to the full extent of the law...

I think I was all of 20 years old.

Aaahhh... those were the days.

I'll have to go dig up those photos and scan them...

Too much fun!

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P.S. - Yes, I know what happened to me was a long time ago, and I should just get over it... I have... Over the years, I have either had Halloween parties or been to them, and they were fun...

but I never hand out candy or even turn my front porch light on.

My family and I all attend a Halleujah Night at Johnny's Christian School, and they get waaaay more candy than any one person needs, with free rides and games to play.

I asked my kids the other day if they felt "left out" because they never dressed up, and my

to my surprise, they volunteered that when they have kids, they don't want them dressing up either. I told them that wasn't necessary, it isn't a belief system for us, and whomever they marry may not enjoy that idea so much... to which they replied... "Well, that's something we'll have to discuss before the marriage". Hmmm... I don't think it'll work, but they get an "A" for effort. Luckily, their private schools don't encourage dressing up either, I don't know why...

most kids love it. All I know is, I save about $300 a year not having to buy costumes, and that money gets spent on Christmas items instead.

Don't feel sorry for my sons... they are just fine, and won't suffer detrimentally from not dressing up... I promise. :)

About Last week...

Oy, I am such a bad blogger these days!

I think I might have too many irons in the fire... so something had to give... and unfortunately, my computer time is one of them...

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I have been having sooo much fun cooking and developing recipes, taking business courses,

and offering samples to businesses and friends... that it's kinda been like a full time job lately.

Then with Soccer, Football, and Market Night, and all my meal prep... it's just about

a 24 hour a day job...

But I am enjoying myself...

A lot.

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Last week was eventful.

My Mama and I catered our local Chamber of Commerce lunch at City Hall, and we sold out of our cookies at Market Night the night before. SOLD OUT! It was sooo exciting!

On Wednesday, one of my fabulous neighbors called to ask for 5 more bags of cookies for her work... AND she wants to start taking orders from her work for all our goodies!

SHE will be eating well from now on... she will get free meals for doing all of that for us to get our name out there...

She works at a huge warehouse.

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I also made the difficult decision to resign as Snack Bar Czar for next years baseball league.

It was a long and arduous decision, with me going back and forth on the decision, but ultimately, my family and my business needed to take precedence...

The shopping and stocking that it took, coupled with only 5 people from a board of 12 doing most of the work in the Snack Bar, and my being there waaaaay too much of the time, just isn't conducive to building and sustaining a business...

My kids were thrilled about my decision... I wasn't... I don't quit anything... BUT... I couldn't put my dream on the backburner for 3 months of baseball...

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We saw Barry Manilow on Saturday night.

He's like... 105, and can still belt out those tunes...

I swear, he held one note for a good 30 seconds...

It was at the Hollywood Bowl, and Dave Koz made a special appearance...

The Hollywood Bowl Orchestra was absolutely stellar, and we had awesome seats.

An A Capella group called "Straight, No Chaser" opened for him, and they blew us away.

Bill bought us Salmon and Spicy Tuna Roll for dinner at the Cafe on site,

and we thoroughly enjoyed the evening.

It was such a great way to listen to music. The acoustics at the Bowl are phenomenal.

Like a good girl, I didn't bring my camera, because the rules said we couldn't bring one... but EVERYONE was taking pictures... and it really pissed me off that I am such a rule follower.

I did get some shots with my phone camera... but they suck...

We drove around downtown L.A. and Bill showed me all the buildings he helped build, and how proud he was about the Disney Concert Hall, that is made out of Sheet Metal, and how his Union built it. It really is a work of art.

We are taking the boys to see Mary Poppins there this Christmas.

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One of our neighbors died last week.

He was an older gentleman...with Lung Cancer.

It was sad and strange to see his body being carried out in a body bag from his home and placed into the van.

He wasn't a nice man at all... he hated children, and yelled and threatened to call the police on them if they kicked balls into his yard... but in hindsight, now that I am older and a little wiser, having something like him on a street is a good thing.

He was the kind of man that would walk out front of his house with a rifle and confront

any riff raff that crossed his path... kinda like Clint Eastwood, and if they pissed him off, he would probably shoot. Unfortunately, he was a little too much like that (sans gun) with young children...but it was his property, and he was just probably afraid of lawsuits if any of the kids got hurt on his lawn...as I get older, I am beginning to see his side of things.

It was still sad to see that he passed.

He left behind a wife and child and grandchild.

Bill and I feel compelled to take care of widows.

Bill is the handyman of our next door neighbor who lost her husband 5 years ago, they ask him to do everything and anything, and we are happy to oblige... they are great neighbors, nice people, and they mind their own business.

The bibles tells us to take care of widows and children...

So... if the newly widowed woman will allow... we will offer to do all the things her husband used to do around the yard... our other neighbor alreadys cuts their lawns for them, and Bill will offer to do general maintenance around their home until she moves or passes...

Life is so fleeting.

***

Soo... that's been the week.

I'm going to go and make some Focaccia now, so I can make the boys school lunches for the week.

Have a great day!

MamaKat's Writer's Workshop 10-22-09

This weeks prompt was...

Describe what makes you want to live a life with passion.

Wow!

Can I really sink my teeth into this one...

***

First, let me say how incredibly blessed I feel to have been afforded the privilege of being a stay at home Mama for the last 16 years. I feel/felt like when I had my kids... that was my true calling... to be their Mother, as good a Mother as I could, and that would fill me up.

I was right... it worked... for about 15 years... until I turned 40.

Now... still a Mama, but the certainty that my baby birds are starting to spread their proverbial wings and want to start heading out into the cold cruel (geez, how many more cliches can I fit into this post...)world... I have once again begun to think of ... me.

***

I'm not knocking the Mama's that want nothing more than to be someone's Mama for the rest of their lives, and be satisfied with that... who am I to judge...

But for me... in this season of my life... I'm ready for MORE!

***

Prior to being someone's Mama, I had lots of ideas... passions...

I wanted to travel the world...

I wanted to own my own business...

I wanted to be on TV...

I wanted to be "discovered"...

I wanted to dance... for a living... and NOT on a pole, people... get yo mind out the gutters!

My biggest dream? Truly? The one that gets me all giddy inside?

The one that I think about when I have a minute to spare... and life seems tedious and one day just bleeds into the next?...

It's this... Me... and a stage... and a stadium of people chanting my name... waiting for me to come out and entertain them... somehow...

See... the "somehow" part is the part I'm stuck on...

***

I can't sing... at all...its really bad... think American Idol... the auditions bad...

No one in their right mind would want to see me dance anymore... sheesh...

I can be funny sometimes... but not for a whole set or two hours in a row... even I would get annoyed with myself...

I can't play any instruments...

and I'm not a preacher...

So... you see...I got nothing but the chanting my name part...

But wait... this was supposed to be about "Living a life with passion"...

So yeah...

Passion.

Everyone needs to get some.

Anything done with a passion just has to turn out well... ya know?

Well.. not ANY thing... but you know what I mean.

***

I have lots of new passions...

Cooking

Writing

Crotcheting

Knitting

Catering

and

Sales of all kinds... I really love that line of work...

***

My kids are still my passions... I want/need/have to see them succeed (whatever that looks like for them). They are men... the world is literally their oyster, and I want them to have every opportunity to live their lives with a passion, and to follow their passions (Please God, don't let the passions wear a mini skirt and lead them around by their noses...). I certainly hope they have more lofty ideas about their lives than to just be married and have kids... I hope they have big dreams and even bigger accomplishments of those dreams... I hope marriage is a long way off for them... I want them to LIVE first... like I did. No regrets...

***

I've sent in tapes to The Next Food Network Star twice in the past... and am going to do it again this year...

I'm going to continue to write my novel and my cookbook, and get them done.

I'm actively pursuing opening a restaurant, I know what I want to do, how I want it to look, and what I will make and sell... I just need the space...

I want to write a column in our local newspaper...

All of these things are on my radar... at the same time.

To me... living a life with passion means doing exactly what you WANT to be doing... with a joy and sense of accomplishment that can only come from pursuing one's passion.

***

What's your passion?

What does it look like to you?

Our Seventeenth Wedding Anniversary!

The gown is all sequins and lace and pearls... and none of that showed up in any photo...

***

***

Today is my 17th Wedding Anniversary!!!

Officially named... "The Sweetest Day" on the calendar...

17 years ago today, I was pacing nervously in my Mama's living room, waiting for my favorite Aunt Maddalena to finish tucking in the stray threads that were sticking out UNDER my gown, because she couldn't have me walking down the aisle knowing I had strays threads...

***

I was having my nails, hair and makeup done... by ME... because I trusted no one else to do it...

***

I was getting sweet, cryptic phone calls from Bill, whispering sweet nothings into the phone...

***

I was unhappy with my flowers when they were delivered... but caught myself from throwing a tantrum and repeated over and over again... "It's about the marriage... not the wedding..."

***

I remember waiting in the lovely basement of our huge Gothic Wedding church in Riverside,

being doted on by my 9 bridemaids, and waiting for the words... "We're ready for you" from my wedding planner.

***

I remember getting confused as to which side I was supposed to walk down the aisle on... and crying to my Papa about how handsome he looked...

***

I remember seeing Bill up there... and decked out in his tux, smiling at me... waiting patiently as I just stared at the gorgeous church and took a moment to savor the day... in two minutes I was no longer going to be a single woman... and that scared me...

My bouquet began to shake... then rattle... until finally the church planner had to take them from me and calm my hands...my Papa made a joke that we could just high tail it out of there...

He was sooo joking... trying to lighten me up... He loved Bill, and couldn't wait to hand me off to him forever... LOL!

***

I remember crying during my vows...

Kissing Bill too long...

and being announced Mr. and Mrs...

I remember needing to have a little chat with Bill about that...

***

I remember our huge, fantastic, totally Italian reception... without all the overdone stuff... just simple and elegant at the Hilton Ontario ballroom.

***

I remember our first dance... our meal... and how hard it was to keep all the divorced parents away from each other...

***

I remember it being all over... and not wanting to ever take my gorgeous wedding gown off...

I looked at it today with my boys...

I couldn't believe how small my waist was... and I thought I was fat... then... HA!!!!

***

I remember the TRUCKLOADS and truckloads of wedding gifts and envelopes that awaited us at my Mama's house the next morning... and all the people that came to watch us open all of them.

***

I remember being done with opening the gifts and being giddy about being able to go home to our new home, my first day of living with Bill, and packing for our fabulous week long stay in Sandals Jamaica that evening...

Bill hired a limo to come get us from "our" house and had champagne and flowers waiting on my seat...

***

I remember christening the limo on the way to the airport!!! LOL!!!

***

Seventeen years later... he is still my one and only husband.

Sometimes I still can't believe it.

It's all kind of a blur sometimes... with the kids and life getting in the way...

But I love Anniversaries so I can reminisce and relive the day... the beautiful October day...

that "I"... became "we".

Seventeen years, three gorgeous children, 2 houses, 6 cars, lots of ups, lots of downs, some arguements, some scream fests, lots of fun, some tedium, lots of work, lots of laughter, lots of love and forgiveness later... he is still my favorite man...

Happy Anniversary Bill...

I love you more today... than I did yesterday...

Thank you so much for the Manilow tickets...

and for everything else in my life...

You are the best...