Neighbor Nuisances... revisited.

I am so tired.

So very tired.

My lovely backyard neighbors thought it would be a great idea to GO SWIMMING at midnight, and drink, and smoke, and whoop it up, because his brother and Mom are in town from Boston, and apparently, to Bostonians, 60 degrees is WARM weather to swim in.

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I have soooo had it with them.

Bill poked his head over the fence and asked them to turn the music, talking, and lights down... to no avail.

Looks like I'll be calling the cops again more often.

Our backyards are very close together.

We live on a 16,000 square foot, shaped piece of land, where our back middle portion is shallow, while our flanks are deep and wide.

When they break wind, I can hear it.

When they smoke pot, I can smell it...

When they drink, I can hear them guzzle it.

I. Am. So. Done.

I'm thinking of letting my sons have a raging party during the week soon, and inform all my neighbors and the cops, except my backyard neighbors, and see how they like it.

They just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago too, and they just sit outside and party, and listen to loud music without any regard for their two children. I wonder how they would feel if their sweet baby was awakened a few days in a row during her naps or just as she was going to sleep.

Bet they wouldn't appreciate it one little bit.

I really would HATE to do that to a sweet little baby angel... but when Mama doesn't get any sleep, no one else does either...

They rent a room from the owner of the house, who lives there too, but works nights.

I want to buy that house sooooo badly.

I would sell my cars, my motorhome, my jewelry, to buy it out from underneath him, and have a some semblance of peace and quiet.

I would rent it out to only old people over the age of 80, who are deaf as doorknobs.

***

I can be a really great neighbor.

I would watch your house for you...

Make sure you felt safe...

Keep an eye out for intruders if you were gone...

inform you when your garage door is open...

bring food over...

let you borrow anything you want...

Watch your kids...

Give you fruit from our trees... etc...

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But if you make me not get sleep, or are disrepectful of my feelings, and disregard our pleasantness in asking you to please turn the music down and keep it down...

I will resort to drastic measures...

This is my home...

my sanctuary...

If you disturb my peace... your peace will surely be more disturbed... by a knock on the door by a uniformed officer.

I will take notes...

I will make sure you go down...

I will spare no cost...

I will win...

End of story.

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See... I'm so tired... I'm cranky and persnickety.

To my backyard idiots...

KEEP IT DOWN... OR YOU WILL GO DOWNTOWN!!!