Monday, November 2, 2009

Neighbor Nuisances... revisited.

I am so tired.
So very tired.
My lovely backyard neighbors thought it would be a great idea to GO SWIMMING at midnight, and drink, and smoke, and whoop it up, because his brother and Mom are in town from Boston, and apparently, to Bostonians, 60 degrees is WARM weather to swim in.
I have soooo had it with them.
Bill poked his head over the fence and asked them to turn the music, talking, and lights down... to no avail.
Looks like I'll be calling the cops again more often.
Our backyards are very close together.
We live on a 16,000 square foot, shaped piece of land, where our back middle portion is shallow, while our flanks are deep and wide.
When they break wind, I can hear it.
When they smoke pot, I can smell it...
When they drink, I can hear them guzzle it.
I. Am. So. Done.
I'm thinking of letting my sons have a raging party during the week soon, and inform all my neighbors and the cops, except my backyard neighbors, and see how they like it.
They just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago too, and they just sit outside and party, and listen to loud music without any regard for their two children. I wonder how they would feel if their sweet baby was awakened a few days in a row during her naps or just as she was going to sleep.
Bet they wouldn't appreciate it one little bit.
I really would HATE to do that to a sweet little baby angel... but when Mama doesn't get any sleep, no one else does either...
They rent a room from the owner of the house, who lives there too, but works nights.
I want to buy that house sooooo badly.
I would sell my cars, my motorhome, my jewelry, to buy it out from underneath him, and have a some semblance of peace and quiet.
I would rent it out to only old people over the age of 80, who are deaf as doorknobs.
I can be a really great neighbor.
I would watch your house for you...
Make sure you felt safe...
Keep an eye out for intruders if you were gone...
inform you when your garage door is open...
bring food over...
let you borrow anything you want...
Watch your kids...
Give you fruit from our trees... etc...
But if you make me not get sleep, or are disrepectful of my feelings, and disregard our pleasantness in asking you to please turn the music down and keep it down...
I will resort to drastic measures...
This is my home...
my sanctuary...
If you disturb my peace... your peace will surely be more disturbed... by a knock on the door by a uniformed officer.
I will take notes...
I will make sure you go down...
I will spare no cost...
I will win...
End of story.
See... I'm so tired... I'm cranky and persnickety.
To my backyard idiots...


  1. I am SOOOO with you on this....I have a "neighbor from hell" what you need to do to stop the madness!

  2. I'm starting to think everyone has a neighbor from hell. We have one but thankfully they are an acre or so away. It's nothing but a drug dealing junk yard. Thankfully, they're quiet. Cooking me*h doesn't make noise.

    We just keep planting more and more trees. They're blocked during the summer but when the leaves fall off the trees we can see their crap. Now we're busy planting evergreens.

    P.S. Can I have William????

  3. I'm SO with you on this!! Thankfully, I have wonderful neighbors all the way around me. But, when we first were married and lived in an apartment, we had some doozies, let me tell you!! And, I had absolutely NO problem calling the police. EVER! Assbags!

  4. Here's hoping you get some sleep soon.

  5. Yikes! That doesn't sound like a fun situation...What about ear plugs?

  6. If you promise not to bother US, we'd love to live next door and not bother YOU. I would be scared to death to live in a condo, or an apartment, and have people like that living above me.

  7. Hi there! I found your blog by chance, and man am I glad I did! This is a cool place to hang out!
    I live in Italy, my husband is Italian. (I'm american) I just started blogging last month.
    looking forward to reading the older posts!
    I notice you have pictures of your children here. I ask this because I am wary of putting pictures of mine on my blog. Have you had any problems with folks downloading the pictures or anything?


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