First things first...
The word "amazing" should be officially taken out of the dictionary and never spoken again.
Holy Schmoly!!!
That's ALL Jake said last night!
All three women are "absolutely amazing", the island is 'amazing', Ali's "amazing"...
AAAAAAHHHHH!
FIND A NEW ADJECTIVE JAKE!!!
Ahem...
Now back to our regularly scheduled jibe fest...
***
First date with Gia...
She is lovely... dressed super cute... out on the "town' in Lucia... street dancing... necklace buying...
dinner, back to the "Fantasy Suite", obligatory hot tub scene, rose petals, and again...
"everything was AMAZING".
She's cute, has a hot bod, poses practically nude for Maxim in swimsuits...
I don't see him bringing her back to meet the folks...
He doesn't... bye, bye Gia.
***
Tenley...
Oh Tenley, Tenley, Tenley...
Sooo lovely... probably as perfect for Jake as Ali was...
BUT THAT VOICE!!!
Sometimes... it's normal... but most of the time!!!
Oy vay!!!
It's perpetual baby talk!
He's gotta be thinking...
"This voice for the rest of my life" (or in Bachelor years, for a month or so)
She is adorable though.
I believe she has the perfect temperament, poise, non posing nude past, that Jake requires...
BUT... I don't think he'll choose wisely...
I believe he is gonna let "little Jake" do his bidding...
What I like about Tenley... there is not "I" in Tenley...
I'll explain further...
***
Vienna...
Hmmm....
Really and truly, I don't see what he sees in her... but he doesn't know what we know.. does he?
Call me old fashioned... call me what you will...
But DID HE NOT HEAR HER CONTINUALLY SAY THE WORD "I" WHEN HE ASKED HER ABOUT WHAT SHE WANTS FOR MARRIAGE?
"I" want this for "my" life... "I" want "my" husband" to treat "me" like this...
I, I, I, I, I...there is not an "I" in Tenley... she kept saying "we", 'us', "our" throughout the program...
HOW CAN SHE POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS AT THE TENDER AGE OF 23!
I was also sick of being forced to look as her Dark Roots all night during their dinner...
Don't they have hair stylists on staff?
Obviously, I'm not a Vienna fan.
She's condescending, unattractive, ditzy, spoiled, airheaded (see ditzy) and "just wants to smile, and travel, and laugh, and travel, and smile, and this is the life "I" want..."
Ugh!!!
Oh... and how sweet was it that she "happened" to have packed in her little arsenal... and silky white teddy for the date? She really comes prepared!
***
With Tenley... Jake is assured that he can go to parties, social gatherings at work, family affairs, and his wife will be sweet, loving, nurturing and won't sleep with someone "hotter" and more "smiley".
Even though her voice is uber annoying, there are times when it's normal...and maybe that would come out more after the show...
With Vienna... he is assured of his "wife" not being able to get along with the women in his life...
giggly, eyerolling conversation at social gatherings, and constant talk about "me", "I" and "mine'.
She just doesn't have social graces required to be the sort of wife Jake needs...
But... as true to form... even though likes to think of himself as "too perfect" Little Jake is making all the decisions... just like all the rest...
***
Ali called and did the pouting, lower lip thing again...
I threw up just a little in my mouth...
WHEN IS ABC GONNA REALIZE THEY ALREADY DID THIS LAST SEASON???
Just because it worked once... doesn't mean it'll work again...
Because she left... Vienna stayed... I believe...
THAT has made all the difference...
Ali... you ruined it!!! (sticking my tongue out)
***
I know who he picks...
I wonder if it lasts?
You know - between the overused "amazing", the other overused phrase was "I'm so in love with these women" Ugh!
ReplyDeleteOh Saundra, You have me laughing! You are the funniest, I swear!!!!
ReplyDelete{And you NAIL the drama that is the bachelor!}
Arg - Jake is choosing like DeAnna did in her season - where it's all cool and neat to date the crazy one and it's all fresh, exciting and "romantic"???? but it NEVER LASTS. I'm on Team Tenley and I just hope that they don't make her the bachelorette - I want her to stay sweet and innocent and not a pietry dish for disease that this show breeds. She obviously didn't put out in the fantasy sweet - I draw that conclusion based on the teaser for 2 weeks from now when she is saying Jake says they don't have physical chemistry - not such a "nice" guy now. Good job ABC way to wreck em for profit! And Vienna? Well wow you said it all - IIIIIIIIIIIII personally have had enough of her --- but I suspect we'll see her smug face again touting her "win" I mean LOVE for Jake.... bleh. She's like the blonde that won on the London Calling season. Yuck yuck yuck!
ReplyDeleteSiiigh - always a pleasure to rant with you ;-)
Jake is just not very bright and is going to be hurt again. I just read in US Weekly today that Ali is going to be the next bachelorette! Apparently, she changed jobs anyhow and her new job is letting her have the time off to do it.
ReplyDeleteJake should definitely pick Tenley over Vienna, but he won't.