Friday, April 17, 2009

Snack Bar Stories...Oy vay...

You know... I really and truly thought that
over the course of a few weeks, the stories would stop coming... but... alas... I was WAAAAY wrong.
Let me start off by saying... it really isn't that bad being the Snack Bar Czar now.
I've gotten kinda used to it, and the first two weeks it completely consumed me...
Now... it's easing up, and I have a GREAT group of young ladies that work in it to alleviate
the stress for me immensely!
Thank you so much Tina, Serena and Paige!
You are the best!
My fellow board members are awesome too. Very understanding, and they are sticking by my side in my decisions to only have a select few working the Shack. I am truly grateful.
Now... on to the shenanigans that go on... daily.
We still have people trying to hand us $100,and $50 bills.
Now I just ask if they want the remainder to go into the tip jar.
I mean... really!
$100 bill at a Snack Bar?
One guy pulled out a huge wad of $100 bills, and he was asked if he had anything smaller.
Well, you and I know what was smaller, anyone that needs to pull out a was of cash at a Snack Bar to get attention is compensating for SOMETHING! Right?
Come on!
Okay... people and their dogs.
I know you love your pooch like it's human.
I get that.
No problem.
I see how cute they are in your pockets, in your purse, down your shirt... whatever!
Does your dog REALLY, REALLY,REALLY need to sniff the Airheads?
Do you realize where it's paws and butt have been?
I have purchased a BOAT LOAD of bleach wipes for all the ROCKET SCIENTISTS that don't realize that animals and food establishments DON'T GO HAND IN HAND.
I spend half my night informing GROWN ADULTS that their animal does not have the same
free reign here, that they do at home.
THEN! I put their name in my little book and put "NEVER EAT AT THEIR HOUSE" next to it.
I do not want to eat something a cat or dog may have licked first... call me weird...I don't care.
Those people need to be hosed. Period.
I had another altercation with a crazy Mama this week.
It seems her little darling is 16, responsible, and she only wants him to work for her when it's her turn for duty.
I, of course, politely tell her the new policy, and I would be more than happy to
have one of my workers work for her, but, no, I am sorry her son won't be able to do it.
She got all beligerent and started asking questions like...
"Well, who are you to decide who works in here or not... my son did it all last year... why the change.. WHERE'S THE MANAGER!... I WANNA SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!"
I just stood front of her... and waved.
She got louder.
"Why is it okay for any parent to work in here, and you need to interview the teens! It's a good thing you didn't check my BACKGROUND, I could be ANYONE! Why don't you check my
background... blah... blah... blah..."
I said "Lady... I am the Manager this year. If you don't appreciate the way things are running this year, feel free to take over my job next year, when it is vacant. Until that time... I'm going to run it this way... thank you so much for inquiring. I've got work to do now."
She walked off still mumbling.
It has to suck to be her.
So much combativeness.
As I was pouring scalding water into the sink to clean the crock pot that night...I pictured her in the crock pot. Very satisfying.
The BEST one all week?
The complete space cadet Mom that worked with me one evening.
I now know more about her than I do my own kids.
I know how much she hates her 79 year old Mama, I know how many drugs she did as a teen, (and might I add, I suspect is STILL doing?), I know about her teeth, which ones needed to be pulled, which one are healthy, I know all about her hair colors over the years, and how she is still in love with her ex husband, but when he calls her, she can' help but be mean to him...
how much better her son is getting in baseball (that was actually sweet), I know what size shoe she wears (7 1/2) and I now know that she attended private school all the way to Jr. high school, that whenever it's cloudy she gets depressed, what her favorite movies are, how many boyfriends she has had since her divorce... and the best bit of information of all! How one of her sons was just suspended for having razor blades and a knife in his backpack.
I immediately asked what school he went to.. and it's somewhere in Idaho. She was sooo mad at the school!
She was upset that they didn't suspect that someone else may have put the contraband into his packback.
I had a little "come to Jesus" with her.
Since her son didn't deny the stuff was in his backpack... he DID IT! She would NOT have it.
She was mad that I would even suggest it.
Yeah... no wonder the kid lives 3 states away.
I don't know that woman's name.
(of course, even if I did, I would NEVER post it)
but she was a piece of work to say the least.
She literally NEVER, EVER, STOPPED TALKING! She followed me around the snack bar, outside the snack bar, to the storage room, back into the snack bar...
I had a freaking shadow!
When I was washing dishes, she bent over to see my eyes while she was talking!
I was ready to throw a big pan of ice water in her face!
She would NOT shut up!
Oh, how I wish more parents would just pay the money to have someone work the snack bar for them!
I don't know how many more weirdos I can stand.
The nice thing is... there are many, many, many more nice normal, pleasant parents around too.
They cheer for their little guys, and show up wearing the team colors... have pom poms...
It is sooo awesome to see parents get all into their kids games.
I just seem to attract the ones off their rockers.
More next week...
I can almost promise!


  1. Haha, don't you just LOVE people that tell you their life story in one small sitting? It's like WHOA, LADY?! Is anything sacred?

  2. You are hillarious and such a good Mama to put up with all of that. I would have thrown the water at her! It never ceases to amaze me how some people choose the most inappropriate places to share their life stories. And to top it off they do not have the self awareness to know how much to keep to themselves.

  3. It's just that you look so trust worthy..and friendly. ;-)

  4. Oh my goodness-I am laughing soo hard!!! That adds so much to my day-please keep it coming!
    The talker, the crazy mom, the pets-I am dying of laughter here!!!

  5. hehehehehe...remind me to NEVER take on that responsibility okay?

  6. I love your stories. Keep them coming!

  7. OK, so you'll adopt me? Yes?
    yay :)

  8. Braja... yes.. most certainly... but why you would ever want to live in my house for any length of time is a mystery... we are nuts here.


  9. Oh. My. Word. I will never do the snack bar. You have my most heartfelt admiration. Yowza!

  10. These are hilarious, so long as it doesn't destroy your sanity (assuming you've still got it ;D), I'm going to hope you keep having stories to post.

    The ultra-combative parents are one of the reasons I look forward to joining the PTA. I don't typically start an argument but I'm more than willing to finish one! ^_^

  11. Ok here is a new book for you to work on Tales from the Snack Side or some such thing!! Defiantely the mom of the year award for this one.

    Thanks for the sweet comment about my speech!!!

  12. You're not going to do this next year? Wha?

  13. I would have totally tossed ice water in her face 'accidentally'... ;) Great stories - you are one patient woman! ;)


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