Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Shoes for a better butt? Really?

I have officially seen and heard everything now... when it comes to what people will buy and sell.

Let me first preface this post by saying... If you have, or plan to own these shoes and products I am about to mention... don't get all up in my grill about how you love them, or how I should just shut up... this is my opinion, and it's meant to be satirical in nature... chill out...

Ahem..

Shoes... that make your butt and legs look better... hmmmm.... remember the 70's?  Yeah.. nothing is really "new" anymore huh?  Remember Dr. Scholls?  Those clunky, wood bottomed, leather across the toed "leg shapers" that sounded like a Clydsedale horses were within 10 feet of you?  Yeah... I owned them... and they were UNCOMFORTABLE AS ALL GET OUT...  I was 10 in the late 70's... and my older cousin told me the shoes were a "miracle" and that I should get them... whatever she said was like listening to God himself... boy was I dumb...


So now there are these commercials touting that these sneakers are made in such a way that it will exercise the butt and legs...
Really?
Are we gonna go "there" again?
They. are. shoes.
What exercises the butt and legs? EXERCISE... WALKING... SQUATS... etc...
I want advertising agencies to STOP thinking we are all stupid know nothing's that will buy ANYTHING they put out there...
Oh... You own a pair?
And?...
Is your butt not touching the ground anymore?
Are your legs back to the shape they were in at 18?

You wanna know what I wish they would come out with?
A freaking bra that will ACTUALLY make my boobs not be 4 feet long anymore...
It's really annoying when I need to scratch my knee, and I have to move my once perky, now stretched beyond recognition breast out of the way...
Why doesn't Madison Ave come out with an advertising campaign for a bra that makes boobs up tight and outta sight... without surgery!!!
Oh wait... I know why... IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!  Just like I feel it's impossible that a shoe can do, what an hour a day at the gym can do.
Unless those shoes have weights sewn into them... I don't see how they'll work... but they sure don't have a problem with charging $100 for them!!! or more!!!

Look... if you own them and love them... great... I hope your butt tightens so tight that you can bounce a feather off of it.  I hope your legs get so shapely, they ask you to be a leg model for pantyhose...

I just get cynical when they make things out to be something they aren't...
Don't even get me started on anti wrinkle creams... and breast firming butters...
Lord have mercy!


9 comments:

  1. Oh that is so true...to many people are looking for a quick fix...just exercise and lift weights to tone or just go outside and walk. Then drink the best fitness drink there is WATER! My favorite is Stretch Mark Creams...they do not work!!!! My Doctor actually told me that and he said stretch marks are hereditary, if your Mom had them most likely you will too..

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  2. Glad you didn't fall for this propoganda Sandra, I remember those sandals too, I really wanted to buy them, but didn't have any money! Not sure about the comment above, my mom had FREEWAYS for stretch marks, I did not get any. lol Doctors don't know everything either. :)

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  3. LOL...I have them and wear them all of the time. Not with the expectation that I'll magically lose weight or to tone my legs or butt. I wear them because they are SO comfortable when I'm doing a lot of walking. No back, leg or foot pain or soreness at the end of the day:)

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  4. That's great Kidsplace... LOL...

    If they are comfy... right on... but they advertising is what gets to me...

    My Mama just bought a pair... and she says she loves them too...

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  5. If they start to advertise shoes that will make my gut go away, I'm so in. Until then, I'm with you, Saundra!!

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  6. You crack me up, try body piercing for the boobs

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  7. you make me laugh...I have to admit though I was thinking about getting them until I realized they looked like those shoes Kramer had on in that episode of Sinfield when people thought he was special needs.

    Ya know what I'm talking about?

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  8. Wow....I so remember wearing my Scholl Sandals. Had several pairs. The advert showed the female with long lanky legs............. I am 5ft???? I did wear them with my mini skirt. Wore them when I first started teaching. Long time ago. Now retired and 63. Thanks for the memories..............
    Sorry Saundra, have no suggestions re bra..........Think you are on a losing battle there. Remember Maya Angelou....The race is on!!!!! Which one will reach your knees first?

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