Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Writers Workshop

MamaKat had some doozies this week. I chose two... but we'll see how long the first one is, and if it's too long, I'll only write on one.
***
Write about an interaction with a salesman.
***
I live in a cute, quiet (most of the time) neighborhood.
It's a Cul-de-sac, and I am at the very center of it, in the part that is round.
We get a lot of solicitors around here... Mormon boys, Jehovah's witnesses, our little local churches, kids selling candy etc... you know.. the normal stuff.
I am a stay at home Mama, going on 15 years now, in this very house.
We have lived in this house 16 years.
NEVER in my lifetime... have I EVER encountered a 'salesman' like the one I am going to tell you about... before or since.
***
It's just a regular day, the kids are all at school, I was watering my backyard garden, when I heard the doorbell ring.
Something inside me told me to just let it go... but I'm one of those people that can't let phones ring or doorbells chime without wanting to know who it is.
I NEVER, EVER answer the door before asking who it is, and looking out my window.
My hands were wet, and my feet were grassed up.
I peeked out the window and asked who it was.
He says, "Hello Ma'am... my name if Pete, and I've got a great new product to share with you, if you would just open the door and let me tell you about it,I'm sure you'll be so happy you did!"
My reply... from my window, so he could see me
"Oh, I am sorry Pete... I'm in the middle of tending to my garden, my feet are dirty and my hands are a mess, I won't be able to spend time today... I'm so sorry..."
Then... silence.
Nothing...
for
about 30 seconds.
Then this...
'OH! I SEE HOW IT IS! A BLACK MAN COMES TO YOUR DOOR, AND IT'S ALL, NO,YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME... I'M A WHITE WOMAN... A BLACK MAN IS TRYIN' TO MAKE A LIVIN' AND YOU WON'T GIVE ME THE TIME OF DAY? I SEE HOW IT IS... OKAY... OKAY...
YOU KNOW WHAT... *%tch! I DON'T NEED YOU!"
Then I was silent.
nothing...
for
about 3o seconds...
Then he started walking off... not to the next door neighbors house... but up the street off the cul-de-sac.
I ran and cleaned up my feet and hands, and quite frankly, put on a bra... 'cause I don't wear one around the house when I'm alone... (yeah, there's a tidbit of info for ya!) and I GOT INTO MY CAR AND CAUGHT UP TO HIS BUTT!
I was MORTIFIED!
How DARE he call me a racist!
I'M THE LEAST RACIST PERSON I KNOW!
I DON'T CARE WHAT COLOR A PERSON IS... IT'S WHAT IS ON THE INSIDE THAT COUNTS IN MY BOOK!
I pulled right up next to him and just stared at him until he stopped walking.
Then he said "Lady, I don't need this right now!"
I was DONE!
Here's what I said...
"YOU SAID YOUR PIECE..AND I LISTENED... NOW HEAR MINE... BUDDY!
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
YOU COME TO MY DOOR, AND IN 30 SECONDS YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT ME AND MY VIEWS ON LIFE? No way!
HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A RACIST!
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN JESUS AND I WOULDN'T HAVE OPENED THE DOOR AT THAT MOMENT! YOU GOT ME?
DON'T YOU DARE BRING YOUR SKIN COLOR INTO THE MIX... 'CAUSE I HAVE FOUGHT AGAINST RACISM FOR MORE YEARS THAN YOU HAVE BEEN ALIVE... YOU CHILD!
You want to sell cleaning products? BE RESPECTFUL! All you had to do was ask when a better time would have been, or for referrals...
AND QUITE FRANKLY... PETE... NO WOMAN SHOULD ANSWER THE DOOR TO A STRANGER...BLACK, WHITE, PURPLE, OR OTHERWISE!
You've got problems.. Pete.. and it isn't your skin color... your skin color is God given and is a gift... your tongue is a gift too, and yours is forked... dude.
How would your Mama feel about how and what you said to me?"
He put his head down... and quietly apologized.
He said he had been turned down by every single house.
I told him sales was a numbers game, the more houses you go to, the better your chances.
I told him he looked very good, was dressed well, and had a nice voice... but got a little too
Farakhan with me. He needed to be selling something better, like cars, or medical stuff.
Spray cleaner was not going to make him a success...
but he needed to work on his attitude and temper first and foremost.
We both calmed down... and he apologized again.
I forgave him, and told him how lucky he was that he got me and not some crazy lunatic of a woman. He laughed and said no one had ever chased him down with a car before.
He went about his business and walked up another street.
And I became the proud owner of 3 bottles of Miracle Clean... guaranteed to lift, sanitize and deodorize any stain... for the rest of my born days.
Pete... I hope you are a millionaire now... come to my door now... I'll open it... I'm not gardening today!
***
Yeah, I know... in hindsight, I SHOULDN'T have followed him... what if he (AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN... white people commit crimes too... remember Timothy MCVeigh?) had a weapon or was trying to lead me out... I know how stupid it was to do that with ANYONE... MAN, WOMAN, WHITE, BLACK, ORANGE , POLKA DOT...
But I was NOT going to allow someone to leave my house thinking that about me.
No way!

23 comments:

  1. I LOVE that story! We get a lot of door-to-door folks, too. But, I think ours use the race, gender, etc. card EVERY time just to make you feel bad and make a sale. Those jerks.

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  2. Great story! Love your attitude.
    I don't remember ever ever having a salesperson come to my door. Just really aggressive fundraisers..

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  3. lol, good post, from the ways its written I can just see you chasing after some guy to give him a piece of your mind.

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  4. That actually a awesome story (yea you shouldn't have but don't we all do things sometimes that in hindsight that are dumb?)
    I would have been so shocked at being called a racist I probably would have burst into tears and thrown my Chinese daughter at him :)

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  5. I am glad you chased him down and even more glad that you bought some of his cleaning product. Hopefully you gave him some hope! How did the cleaning product turn out? Were you pleased?

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  6. Wow, that would have totally shocked me also. I'm not sure what I would have done. Kudos to you.

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  7. I think the same guy came here...only before he left he "cleaned" 1/2 of the brass kickplate on our door. We had to buy a new one.

    I wish I had the focus to do what you did! Usually I am shellshocked and just stand there.

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  8. I just found your blog from Mama Kat's and this cracked me up! I will definitely be back :)

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  9. oh i freakin looooove this! just wanted to say thnx for visiting me and my blog yesterday... but now im glad i came to you... im afraid you might be stuck with me if you dont mind another follower! this was the greatest story ever!! and kudos to you actually chasing him down and telling him what you thought... i woulda just sit there and fumed all day!

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  10. Awesome story! I don't think I would have been as brave to do that, but it's cool that you did. I like to see people standing up for themselves like that!

    I hope I can be a SAHM for the next 15 years! :)

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  11. What a great post!

    I about choked when you said "but got a little too Farakhan with me".

    Race isn't always the issue. Some people are just too blind to see that.

    I love that you ran him down (well, not really ran down) with your car and made sure he saw the true reasoning behind your actions.

    My Dad always said, "Never assume. It just makes an ASS of U and ME."

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  12. I love how you have an answer to everything...I wish I did!
    Yesterday, the weirdest thing happened to me. I was having lunch with an old friend, and my two and a half year old. We sat and talked forever. Several people commented on my littest ones good behavior-he was very quietly playing and eating saltine crackers the whole time...
    When I got up to leave-I needed to throw a cup away, hold my diaper bag/purse and the baby's hand...the plan was to come back after dumping the first trip of garbage, and then go back to clean off the seat-we had a good sized bowl of crumbs to deal with..
    As I threw out my cup, I hear this lady very loudly say, "I think parents today are so selfish and rude-they just leave a mess, and expect others to pick up after them."
    I was horrified-I was the only one with kid, and I knew she was talking about me!
    I said quietly, and respectfully-"I only have two hands-I never expect others to pick up after me."
    I went back swept up the crumbs (with both hands) and left...MY friend who was still with me said, "I was so shocked, I didn't say anything, but I wanted to!-She has no idea who you are, and how you do life-I can't believe she said that to you."
    The thing is-I had imaginary conversations with myself all the way home...and still couldn't think of a defense.
    I finally gave up, and just prayed she had a good day inspite of herself...
    But please, tell me-what would you have said!!??
    I will remember it for next time...IF there is one!!

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  13. Hilarious!!!! I bet he never expected that! And a sale to boot! ;)

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  14. That is classic. I want to call you a name just to see what you'll do to me...

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  15. I liked you before, but now I love you!

    You always inspire me to not be afraid to stand up for what you believe.

    What a great story.

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  16. Love the story and I think you've found another follower in me. I love that you started out angry as all get out and more than likely ended up providing this young man with not only a sale but a very valuable life lesson! Your children are very blessed to be able to call you mom!

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  17. Great story and I love your attitude. You are one hell of a good woman!!! And I too hope Pete learnt his lesson that day and is now a big success story too. Who knows, you might have changed his life.

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  18. WOW! That's crazy! I probably would have told him off too. I hate when people make assumptions about you just by a small glance into your life. Lots of people make assumptions about SAHMs without realizing what goes into our days.

    Thanks for visiting my blog! I love the layout of yours! :-) Swing back again soon!

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  19. Hhhmmm, was this in the last year? I had a stain remover guy wanting to sell to me to keep the kids away from dope. When I politely denied him, he said, "Thank you for your generosity!" I was livid and speechless. He has no idea how much I donate to children's causes. I wanted to yell at him that he had judged me because of my right to say no. Oh yeah, he was black.

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  20. It's been at least a week since I've told you how much I loved you so of course you remind me why all over again - I absolutely loved that you followed him (even if you probably shouldn't have... I know my husband wouldn't have appreciated me doing that, lol) but I definitely feel ya there, My biggest pet peave is people leaving with a wrong impression of me.

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