Clean office? or Expedia? Hmmm.....

I am blogging right now, so I can avoid cleaning out my office.

It looks like a tornado touch down for 5 years in that little thing.

*

Maybe I'll get motivated to clean it if I decide to make it a wine cellar?

Or maybe I should decide to pad it with mattresses on the walls and call it my own personal

Looney Tunes room... you know... for the PMS days and the "OMG, get me out of here!" days.

*

This isn't your typical room, it's really, really tiny.

5ft by 5 ft.

More like a little closet.

When Bill first built it, I loved it.

I still do, but 5 people use this thing!

Do you know how crowded a 5x5 space is when

5 people try to cram in here to see something online?

All the oxygen gets sucked out fast.

It's more like an elevator that goes nowhere...

just a suffocating place where the door slides open and closed.

*

I don't dare light a candle in here, with all the paper, it would light up in a second, not

to mention the candle would suck even more oxygen out of here.

*

This is totally on another subject... but I read somewhere that a woman that has all boys in the house, ACTUALLY has more testosterone in her body,

because when the boys hug her, the skin contact from arms and face release hormones?

And my men wonder why I need my girly weekends!

I wonder if the same is true for men who have only daughters.

Do they get estrogen the same way?

That sure would explain a lot of "man boobs" huh?

At least we women already have testosterone in our bodies to begin with,

but men don't have estrogen.

I'm beginning to understand the men that are more in touch with their

"feminine side".

I need to hire some sisters to live with us for a couple of years.

My men are entirely too "frat house" around here.

Can you tell I need some time away again?

I'm thinking New York City.

or San Francisco.

Somewhere with lots of lights and lots of things girls like to do...

SHOP AND SEE SHOWS!

***

Okay, I'm going to go make reservations right now.

Eeny, meeny, miney, mo...

Writer's Workshop 7-30-09

WHAT MADE ME RED HOT THIS WEEK!

***

What made me red hot this week?

Yeah, I can do this...

and WARNING!!!! It is NOT NICE about my hubby.

The following rant does not mean I am not grateful, proud, in love with, or otherwise with my hubby... but I was asked what got me red hot this week, and I'm gonna be honest.

I know how hard my hubby works to support us all.

I know how blessed I am to have not needed to work for the last 17 years.

I know what a great guy I have... but something got me all bothered this week, and for the last 17 years!

***

My hubby works construction.

Has since the day I met him.

Wait, I should be more specific.

He is the head guy of the entire construction crew of his company in Irvine.

He works in an office now, responsible for 35 guys, and works on multi-million dollar

proposals and draws up those jobs for the company.

He is a Journeyman Sheet Metal Worker for the past 27 years.

HE LOVES his work, and his company.

THAT isn't my problem.

MY problem is that he can FIX, MAKE, AND BUILD ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

I MEAN ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

When it was time to remodel our kitchen... we didn't hire one single thing out. He did it ALL.

Framing, electrical, tile, cabinet installing, rewiring, EVERYTHING!

He even did the drawing of the plans himself. It's what he does.

No, that's still not my problem.

***

Before the kitchen, he built our entire patio, a playhouse for the kids, redid our fireplace, remodeled on one bathroom, remodeled the kids rooms etc...

The only thing we have EVER hired out was getting our new dual paned windows in a couple of years ago, and it was done in one day.

***

Recently, he was supposed to start construction on enlarging Johnny and Alex's bedroom and building us a master bathroom that would make the Queen cry with envy.

Instead, I decided that we needed to buy another home and rent it out,

since the prices are so low now.

Fine, we are looking... so HE DECIDES TO MOVE THE POOL PUMP from one side of the yard to the other...

WHY????

I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA!

You know all those 'great' projects he's done, that I mentioned before?

Well... what I failed to mention was that he

TAKES FOREVER AND A DAY TO COMPLETE THEM!

The pool pump, he PROMISED ME would be moved and cleaned all up in two weekends, flat... no problem...easy peasy.

WE ARE ON WEEKEND 8!!!!!

It's 100 outside, my pump still isn't working, and it's getting green in the pool.

Can you feel my frustration now?

The kitchen remodel was NINE MONTHS OF HELL!

It's not that he doesn't know what he's doing, he just makes 4000 trips to Home Depot a day, and doesn't start working on it until 2 p.m.!

Oh... don't start telling me how blessed I am to have a man that does projects around the house... my Daddy could do all this stuff, and HE BUILT OUR ENTIRE 2500 SQ. FOOT HOUSE when I was 11, in NINE MONTHS, AND HE HAD A BAD BACK!!!

I know... I know... I sound like a complete shrew... but I cringe when he starts another project!

And... of course... I have to make a comment like...

"Uh... are you sure you want to start something? You know how antsy I get when the job doesn't get completed in a timely manner, then we argue, then we both get frustrated, and... well... it is worth it?"

Quite frankly, the reason I want to buy a rental house is because I just CAN NOT go through another construction project for months and months and months.

Do I want a huge master bathroom?? Yes?

Am I willing to wait for it?

Nope.

We aren't getting any younger.

I just can't put him, myself or the kids through another year long project.

I just can't.

One day, I'll have to take a picture of the Master Bathroom we have now...and you will GASP at how microscopic it is. No, really, you can sit, wash your handS AND take a shower at the SAME TIME!!!

I am willing to live with it forever not to have to feel the way home construction makes me feel about my hubby. I have a timeshare in Vegas with a huge bathroom I can visit.

I'd rather like my husband.

I ask Bill all the time... like a complete idiot I ask... "How long do you think it will take?"

WHY DO I DO THAT TO MYSELF!!!

WWWWWHHHHYYYYY!

I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER!

FOREVER!!!!

***

Oh, I love that man, but when it comes to doing things for himself, he takes his sweet time.

If someone else were to ask him to do something for them...

HE DOES IT LICKETY SPLIT!

Oh... I get soooo PISSED!!!!

***

So, this week, our pool is green, it's really hot, and he promised he would be done way back in June. I may have to go buy a pool from the store and set it up right next to our built in pool.

***

Rant over.

Sue me if I sound like a witch!

The Final Rose... The Final Trainwreck

If I were a drinker, and was playing a drinking game to the

Bachelorette, The Final Rose, and I decided to take a drink each time

Ed and Jillian kissed... I'd surely be a total alcoholic by now.

I GET IT! I GET IT! You're in mad, all consuming, passionate love!

I GET IT!

***

Let me tell you... Reid made my heart break.

Someone remind me of which Fantasy Suite we was referring to?

***

My Melissa looked FAB*U*LOUS!

Not to shabby on the ring, either!

***

I am so glad this particular Trainwreck is over.

It was a long time coming, what with all the squealing, crying, "aboots",

and other such nonsense.

Ed is a really special guy. He still wanted Jillian after she called him out on National TV and said

he had "performance" issues.

I personally think she meant they weren't all kissy and huggy after a day in the sun like that...

but she never made a point to correct herself on the "can't make the soldier stand at attention"

innuendo she so boldly put out there.

***

Oh yeah, Fish Lippy Kippy showed up too.

***

This concludes this seasons series of Trainwreck TV...

Saundra... out.

Trainwreck TV , The Bachelorette Finale

Well, the summer edition of Trainwreck TV is finally over!

Between the idiot Wes, and perfect Jake, and maniacal Mike, it certainly has been a

whirlwind of soft core porn, foot worshiping, man coding, bad kissing (Kiptyn! Have you seen how he puckers? Gross!),

horrific song writing and singing (Wes) and more squeals, and boots and leg wrapping than I care to mention again! Sheesh!

***

She chose ED...FINALLY! But of course... not without some major drama!

Sweet Reid came back, but first she got rid of fish pucker Kippy.

Then Reid proposed, all WHITE shoes and grey pants... (What WAS that look?)

but alas... after a lot of mascara, nose wiping, and blowing air out of her mouth while fanning herself... she ended up being persuaded by Chris Harrison that she actually loved ED.

So after interminably LONG hugs and head to chin leaning... she gave Reidy Pie the boot, and squealed when Ed proposed and wrapped her legs around him in an evening gown.

Oy vay.

So... the After the Final Rose is Tuesday night, and I'm sure there will be major squealing, and smooching and gushing.

Maybe Reid will make an appearance this time.

I sure hope they don't make Kippy the next Bachelor... he'd swallow up the girls with the way he kisses... I think Jake should be the next one.

So... after tonight, this will conclude my series of Trainwreck TV until the next season starts.

Gosh, I hope they don't bring back Molly and Jerky Jason again.

I get it... their happy, their perfect, they'd do it all again to find love... blah, blah, freaking blah!

Writers Workshop 7-21-09

What am I giddy about?

I'm giddy about my best friend, finding a really, really nice guy after 41 years of being single.

I think this guy might be the "one" and I am just soooo excited for her. She deserves someone spectacular, that will adore her, that will cherish her, and I think she's found him.

I live vicariously through her.

***

I am giddy about the prospects I have in my life as far as 'just me' goes.

The doors are wide open and the possibilities are endless, and I am giddy with excitement about

new avenues and doors that may open both personally and financially.

I am so looking forward to finishing my book, and shopping around for publishers, and even if no one bite,

I WILL HAVE WRITTEN AN ENTIRE BOOK!

***

I am giddy about the men I am raising.

They are becoming really interesting, capable, smart human beings,

and I'm beginning to see all our hard work come to fruition.

I just know they were put here on earth for a great purpose.

***

What are YOU giddy about?

Wordful Wednesday

Baseball is over.

It was a great year.

On to soccer...

but there's still time for a few pics of baseball...

The dirty cleats of young baseball players...

Our awesome coaches after a tough loss... Alex, warming up to pitch...

Alex and Bill, a bundle of nerves at Will's last game...

The Bachelorette...Trainwreck TV at it finest!

Holy Man Code, Batman!

Last night was the "Mancode" Version of Trainwreck TV...

I swear!

*

Scary Mike was still scary, and dumb, but awfully cute with the beard... I love facial hair!

He talked himself out of so many girls pants last night asking the audience of mostly women

"Hey, all you don't like it when a guy walks up to you and says... "Damn, you have a nice A**????"

To which the audience replied...

"NOOOOO" while emphatically shaking their heads.

DUH???

My hubby was shocked too. Bill is ManCode President.

I know... I know...

*

Surprise, Surprise... Wes DIDn't show up! THE COWARD!

I bet he was doing sell out performances in Chiuaua Mexico during the taping of that show.

He has sooo much bravado in the limo, and now... just like we all thought he was...

he is just a lowly snake.

*

All the men seemed to be supremely jealous of Jake, the perfect one.

I like Jake.

Everyone deserves a Jake to be married to.

I married a cross between Mike and Jake... a combo that just "does it" for me.

Sue me. *

Jason and Molly came back for a quick moment.

I almost threw up.

"nuff said.

*

REID... didn't make it... BUT they did show a quick cameo of him holding a ring

for NEXT WEEK!

I like Reid for Jillian.

I love Ed... but he's too easy of a catch... Reid made Jillian think, and fight, and wonder...

and that is just sooo appealing... admit it.

Next week, if ABC plays their cards right... should be one lie and deceitful entanglement after another.

ABC stands for

Another Bachelor Crapshoot

or

Another Bachelorette Canned

or

Awwwww Bachelors Can't

Yeah, after last season with Jason, they kind lost it... for me.

Snack Bar Stories

Snack Bar Stories is baaaaack!

I've been working it for about a week now, for the Girls All-Stars tournaments...

and my word... there are crazy people all over the place!

***

Business has been brisk, and I have been to Smart N Final waaaaaay too many times this week...

but...it needs to be done... and I'm near the store every morning anyway!

***

Soooo...

Tonight... some dude walks up and orders two churros and a couple of waters.

I get them, tell him it's $4, and he... yes... you guessed it...

He tried to hand me a $100 bill.

HE TAKES A BITE out of each Churro, opens both bottles of water...

BEFORE HANDING ME THE MONEY!

I laugh just a tiny bit, smile, and sweetly tell him I just don't have the change, AND I can't take a $100 bill anyway.

Holy Cow... then he says this...

"Well, I've opened both bottles, and bitten each churro, so you won't want them back, and if you can't break my $100, I guess I got this for free! Then he smiled... and walked away from

the window.

OMG is he lucky I didn't have a gun handy.

I went out my door, caught up to him, and said this, whispering in his ear...

"You just TRY coming back to this window and ordering one more thing... just TRY! You just go on back to your seat, I'll see who you are sitting with and who you know.. and I promise... you'll need to hire a food taster next time. Go on... eat up buddy..."

About a 1/2 hour later... a little boy walked up with $4, I asked him what he wanted, and he said

"Nothing, I was just told to give you this."

I gave him a lollipop for being more brave than his Dad/uncle/friend or whoever that jerk was to him, and I told him to give the dude a message... I told him to say...

"I'm more of a man than YOU!"

***

A little earlier in the week, our refrigerator and our ice machine stopped working, because it was so hot. They tripped.

So after we reset them, I had to run to get cups because none of our drinks were cold, and it was over 100 outside.

Cups are expensive, and sooooo many people were too cheap to buy drinks and just wanted a cup of ice, I got hip to their jive and started charging for the cups the next game.

If you wanted a cup of ice WITH your drink you purchased... no problem... no charge...

but if you just want the cup of ice... it's .25. It was a big cup.

Some teen girls come up and try to sweet talks 3 cups of ice off of my son, and he didn't budge

(yes, I know it was because I was there), and he informs them the cups of ice are 25 cents.

If they brought the cup back, we'd fill it as many times as they wanted with ice.

They didn't like the size of the cups, and we quite vocal about it.

One of them purchased a soda, so Johnny, ran to get an even bigger cup and turned around and said... "This is the size cup you get because you brought a drink"

Apparently that was a hilarious statement, because the one girl with the

trash mouth of a Sailor, SPIT HER DRINK OUT OF HER MOUTH, ALL OVER THE FRONT OF MY SNACK SHACK! She got the pricelist all wet with her germs, my counter,

the customer at the other window...

Yeah, it was a mess.

She NEVER apologized.

Hagatha!

She never returned for more ice.

Hmmmm....

Wonder why.

***

I'm thinking of stocking my Snack Bar with a dart gun next year.

Ohhh... maybe a taser!

That would be great!

On big electrical shock for trying to pass a $100 or for spitting!

Do I need a permit to carry a taser?

At the least, I'll start working on my spitballs through a straw this winter.

I'll be ready for 'em next season...

Come and geeettt iiiit!

Writers Workshop 7-16-09

Writer's Workshop was right up my alley this week.

I don't know if you know this or not MamaKat, but the neighbor nusiance is a touchy subject on

my street and in my family, and it has been for about...15 years now.

***

We live on a cute, used-to-be quiet, cul-de-sac.

I know every one of my neighbors names, and most of their birthdays.

We have all babysat each other's kids, helped with gardening, loaded in furniture, borrowed cups of sugar, flour, what have you...

But that family on the corner...

When they moved in... something wasn't right.

They had two cute little boys, I was pregnant with William when they moved in.

They seemed like a nice, normal, just starting out couple, then day turned into night.

The wife was extremely anti social, and was and is a TERRIBLE "Not my baby boys" Mama.

Those two terrors could do no wrong in her eyes.

About a month after they moved in, their boys were making themselves at home in my mini orchard, throwing my oranges and lemons at the neighbors dog.

They would torment cats, and I once caught them skinning a bird on their sidewalk.

The makings of demon's... all the way.

Mom didn't work, and Dad stayed up till all hours of the night "Playing basketball" with his boys.

So at 1 a.m., we heard "bounce, bounce... horraaaayyyy!, bounce, bounce."

There was a lot of fighting in the driveway of their house.

Dad lost his job a lot, because his employers, (call them crazy) didn't appreciate a DRUNK and STONED employee. He was in a training program for a major restaurant chain.

After the Dad wrapped a couple of cars around some telephone polls, and did a little time in the slammer... I'm guessing some conjugal visits were in order, because Mama got pregnant with not one... but TWO girls.

The neighbors and I went to the shower, and listened to all the complaining about them not having enough food, how hard it was for them to make ends meet... all the while, she is chain smoking. Hmmm... cigarettes cost money... don't they?AND.... SHE WAS PREGGERS!

Class.

We all bought her beautiful things, not a Thank you one was given, and then... for about a year after that... the Mama came to me and my neighbors doors asking for money, usually about $40 was her asking price. We gave... and never expected to see the money again...she probably got about $500 out of us...we felt badly for her, she had new twins, and her husband was a deadbeat.

Many of us were anonymously leaving her bags of groceries in the middle of the night, so they would have food.

They didn't have a house payment, the house is owned by the Dad's Father, they didn't have cars, because the Dad kept trying to make roads where there shouldn't be.

They didn't have custody of their two boys, the Dad's Father did.

They did NOT fit in the demographic of our community, nor our neighborhood.

We were all families, with kids, mostly stay at home Mom's, with hubbies that worked for a living, RV's, Vacations, block parties, the kids used to put on bike shows in the summer...it was great...

Until their children started to get older.

The girls became thieves. and liars, and Mama's little beggars.

I won't go into great detail about what the boys are into, but they dropped out of high school last year, and have gone into 'RETAIL SALES' of the herbal variety.

If you catch my drift.

Things have quieted down recently... but we've all seen this before.

***

We... no surprise... have had NUMEROUS confrontations with them.

Their girls have thrown rocks at my boys' heads while my boys were riding bikes, and when my oldest was about 5, their boys would throw out wood and rocks at my sons tires to make them trip and skid. 5 years ago, when Johnny and Alex were playing basketball for a league, the Mom and Dad would show up and LOUDLY and CRUDELY call my kids out and scream

"YOU ARE LOSERS! ALEX, JOHNNNY.... LOSER, LOSER, LOSER!"

Yes, the PARENTS of the kids were doing that.

They were escorted out... but the damage was done... and so was I.

***

When I confronted her 5 years ago as to why she feels the need to be like that...

she said...

"You and your family think you are soooo much better than us! You need to mind you own business and realize that kids will be kids, and you don't need to come over and complain about the things my boys do to your boys... just let it be!... You are gonna raise wusses."

To which I replied...

"Hey, lady, I've done nothing but give and give and give to you and your family. You have stolen electricity and cable from your neighbors, your kids get drunk at age 12, you have music that plays at decibels unknown at 3 a.m., your kids are hoodlums... and we are just supposed to look the other way?"

She flipped me off, and told me I'd better never be alone in my house.

Jump to August 2008, when her boys were drunk and running up and down the street screaming at the top of their lungs at 1 a.m. saying they were gonna kill themselves...

I called the cops.

The 14 yr old was arrested.

THEY GAVE MY PHONE NUMBER to the parole officer.

So when the parole officer called me to ask why the little darling missed his appointment, I was wondering who the heck she was talking about!

I called the owner of the house, the Father in Law, and filled him in on what his genius daughter in law did.

He confronted her, SHE CAME TO MY HOUSE... and threatened mine and my childrens lives,

telling me she was gonna kill us... she didn't know when... she didn't know how... but I had better watch myself, because she was going to get to me through my kids.

Yeah, I called the cops again.

AND got a restraining order on her and her vermin family.

Daddy was taken to jail for possession in March, and Mama was arrested two weeks later, but they are both back in the house, pretending they are a stand up family.

***

The other night, he got busted for smoking more "herbs" at the baseball park.

I almost wet my pants from laughing so hard. They had to walk right past my Snack Shack to leave the premises.

I smiled and waived...

She flipped me off...

She is a class act... all the way... her parents must be so proud...

***

I crazy aboot him... but he has E.D.

Okay... hold up! Wait a minute!!!!

Am I the ONLY ONE IN AMERICA... that ACTUALLY THOUGHT... that

the OVERNIGHT DATES IN THE FANTASY SUITES...

were mostly just "R" rated and not "X" or "XXX".

Am I STILL that naive?

Did you SEE and HEAR all the 'Alluding' to erectile dysfunction going on in tonights episode?

HELLOOOOOOO!

It's NATIONAL TV... DUMMIES!

Your MAMA'S and DADDIES are WATCHING!!!

Holy crap!

Buck neked in the bathtub...

and that white, braless frock she had sprayed glued to her miniscule boobs...

Can she say... "Leave that junk for your own personal bedroom?"

I DON'T WANNA SEE IT!

I AM SOOOOO EMBARRASSED FOR JILLIAN RIGHT NOW!

I have no words...

Okay...that's never true... I ALWAYS have words... but OMG!

I swear... in my heart of hearts... I really thought that the girls didn't ACTUALLY have SEX with

three guys in the same freaking week.

I mean... come on... that is waaaaaay slutty!

W-H-O-R-E!

Yeah... I spelled it!

What of it!

All the rubbing, the oil, the squealing... ugh!

***

Kiptyn still kisses like he has 16 pairs of lips... what IS that?

***

Reid... dude... that Jillian is one needy chick.

She DESPERATELY needs you to make a FOOL of yourself on National TV, and say you love her before she dumps you...

I mean... really.

I liked ya.

I thought you were better for her than Kippy.

And Ed...

You really put it out there... huh?

I loved your parents.

Loved them.

But dude... Jillian totally called you out on that "passion not happening" thing.

I was fully expecting to see a Viagra commercial right after...

Do you really want a women that airs your dirty laundry like that on National TV?

I wouldn't want to marry a girl that gave it away to two other dudes in the same week...

neither should you!

***

Holy Cow.

Bye Bye Reid.

Maybe you'll be the next Bachelor.

I really thought Ed was going... but he said the magic words... "I love you Jillian" and

"I swear, you won't be disappointed" hmmm.....

Sorry dude...

She really needs you to "put it out there" and be "spontaneous"

(oh, how I HATE that word now because of her!) Squeal... Squeal!!!

I HATE WES!

Just wanted to put that out there again.

Crap... three more weeks of this insanity.

I am so glad it's only once a week.

I can't write any more about it for too much longer.

Stupid Parents...There's always one or two in the bunch.

I have a question for everyone.

I know lots of us have children.

Lots of us have children in multiple sports, and we go to those events, every day, week, etc...

and sit on the sidelines, with the other parents.

We laugh, we cry, we cheer, we wince, we fret, we jubilate... we basically run the gammit on emotions when watching our kids play or do anything.... right? right.

Okay... so WHY! WHY! WHY do some people feel the need to belittle, talk about or even mention another child's name in the bleachers..unless they are saying something nice about the other child??? Hmmmm? Can someone tell me that please?

I JUST DON'T GET IT!

HOW ON EARTH WERE THESE PEOPLE RAISED???

BY SATAN?

***

Here is my problem.

I am sitting in bleachers, surrounded by our teams parents, aunts,

uncles, brothers, sisters... you name it.

They cheer each child on, say things like... "Come on kid... you can DO it!"

"Woo Hoo! Go number 10!"

"It's okay kid, you'll get 'em next time!"

Those are all cool things to say. To your own child OR ANYONE ELSE'S CHILD... no problem.

What I don't understand is the need to cut someone else's child down...IN THE BLEACHERS, IN FRONT OF THE OTHER CHILD'S PARENT!?!

Case in point...

A kid goes up to bat... and that kid may not have had a stellar season up to bat, but is a killer

3rd baseman, catcher, right field... whatever!

He's already nervous, because HE KNOWS HIS WEAKNESS!

He doesn't need to be reminded...

The Mama or Daddy is shouting positivity to their boy, trying to ease his anxiety...

Then... then... then... some noodle brain decided to say... not loud enough for the kid to hear, but certainly loud enough for the parents in the bleachers to hear...

"Ugh...not this kid again... he can't hit...he sucks!"

or

"Oh crap...I don't know WHY our dumb coach chose this kid to play on our team...

he can't do anything!"

Or...

any number of rude, obnoxious comments ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S KID!!!

Oh, and by the way... that 'dumb coach' JUST HAPPENS TO BE MY HUSBAND!

After our last All Star game, one of the parents made a bunch of horrible comments about my husband's coaching style, the fact that we lost, and how much better the team would have been

HAD HE(THE PARENT FLAPPING HIS JAW) been coaching the team.

Well... you know me...

I am not one to keep my mouth shut... ever.

I took the exactly one step it took me to get to the RudeOne, and said...

Ahem...

"Oh reaaaaaly? Well, since you are sooo much better and more capable than Bill, I will be sure to throw your hat into the ring when Managers and Coaches are applying next year... and I expect, with all the bravado you have been speaking with, that you will be a cinch to win the title and All star Tournament next year... so please, by all means... bring your A game, since my husband is good for nothing in your eyes."

To which he replied...

"Don't get all defensive, I'm just saying that the team could have been coached a little better... that's all"

To which I came back with...

"Oooooh... YOUR way... the way that gets you kicked off of fields by umpires, and kids go home crying because of how you treat them and belittle them?Thanks but no thanks... I'll take my husbands respectful, disciplined way any day of the week... by the way... we won the first and second half of the season during regular season... what have you done lately?"

He stopped talking to me after that, but kept flapping his jaw about how Bill needs to just not have an after game meeting and let them all go home with their heads bowed in shame for losing.

He (the jaw flapper) was a real loser.

***

I also had to school another parent that was always cutting down another parents kid.

I told her to "worry about her own son... she can say what she wants about her own, within reason, but to lay off other people's kids... unless it was a nice comment... didn't she realize that the kid's parent was RIGHT THERE! and no parents needs another adult's opinion on their kid?

I mean REALLY! What is the freaking deal!

The other parent was visibly clenching and unclenching his fist...and wanted to say something, but didn't, to keep the peace...

Peace, Schmeace... those parents need to be schooled!

Such idiots!

Say what you want about my kid/hubby/me in the privacy of your own home... what I don't know won't harm me... but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you do that in my presence or one of my friends presence!!! Come on!

One old guy stood behind me at the last game,

obviously not knowing who I was related to, and was

complaining about Alex's catching ability, and being very vocal about how

Alex was playing that game...

When I turned around to give him "The Italian Eye" he said... "Am I right?"

and I said...

"Uh... nope... you are talking about my SON"

He turned whiter than he normally was.

That was fun.

***

Note to parents who feel the need to vocalize your opinion about other people's kids.

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Photo Story Friday

Here's the stuff my family and I have been up to in the past week or so...

Pizza making...

Pizza Cooking...

Pita making...

All star Playing...

Firework lighting...

Posing for picture...

Baseball scooping...

Just enjoying being alive family stuff!

Here's hoping everyone is enjoying the time off from school!!!

Writers Workshop 7-9-09

What am I paranoid about?

***

Paranoid is such an ugly word... I prefer the terms "insistent upon" or "don't appreciate when" or "really don't like it when".

Okay... paranoid it is.

Who am I kidding?

***

I am paranoid about fire. Fires. I hate them. No...not the firepit kind or the stove burner kind... but the blazing, smoke spewing, burning up houses and forest land kind.

I hate them.

I hate the people that start them.

All that carnage... for a cheap thrill of starting a fire.

It makes my heart bleed when I see peoples homes go up in flames on TV... and I live in So Cal, and fires are prevalent.

Paranoid... no... but get really, really pissed off and jittery when I hear about a possible arsonist...

YES!

***

I AM paranoid that my children will grow up, get married and never come to see me or think of me or call me again. I get afraid that they will not want to be around me when they are grown.

I'm trying to brainwash as much as I can, as fast as I can... lol!

***

I am paranoid that all the teaching, preaching, talking to, schooling, what have you... we do about them not trying drugs, or abusing alcohol, or doing anything that could harm them or others

will not be heeded by our sons... and I am paranoid that they will experiment and get hooked and go through all the terrible things other families have gone through.

I was once told, by someone my hubby is related to, that "Everyone has at least one drug addict in their family"... AND I REBUKE THAT STATEMENT WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING!

It was like she was wishing it on my family.

My brother, nor I has ever done, or tried drugs of any kind... so... no... it ISN'T in every family.

And... I'm certainly never going to try, do, or talk about drugs and alcohol like it's cool, with my kids... ever. So far... so good, but I won't have control soon...and I don't want them making the wrong choices... and it's so hard being out of control, when I am a control freak of a mother to begin with. I just want my men to have good, clean, wonderful lives, full of laughter and children, and great wives, and... and... and... you catch my drift...

***

Oh... and one more thing...

I HATE.. HATE... HATE... HATE... HATE. SNAKES.

They should only EVER been shoes or belts or bags.

Those... I am paranoid about... to the nth degree.

I love Ed! TRAINWRECK TV... The Bachelorette

Trainwreck TV... WASN'T so Trainwreck last night.

It was "Fantasy Suite" time... you know... the time when EVERYONE KNOWS they are all having selacious sex in the suite, but they all play it off like they didn't?

The Suite, where THEY CHEAT on all the other dudes or girls in the show?

The place where I WANT to believe it's just cuddling and kissing and not sex with 4 different partners on four different days.. ON NATIONAL TV!

Yeah... Jillian SHOCKED the hell out of me by NOT going to the Fantasy Suites with any of them but Ed... and with ED... she MADE SURE to say out loud for all of us to hear...

"We are going to sleep with our clothes ON, right?"

Ugh... what was I saying... IT WAS TOTALLY TRAINWRECK!!!

I was proud of her for not being slutty... but then she said that... and my stomach turned.

Just the fact that she HAD to say it... it should have been a given... blech!

***

Ding Dong the Wes is gone!!!!

The jerk was finally sent packing.

HE WAS A MAJOR A** at the final rose ceremony.

He said, "It's me... I'm going to home to have lots of sex" and smiled.

Ugh... he is SOOOO CREEPY!

You should have seen what he wore to dinner! He wasn't even trying!

In the limo, he was talking about the chains being gone, poured himself a MANLY beer, in a highball glass, no less, and says... "I've made Bachelorette history, I made it to the top 4 with a girlfriend at home. My acting days are over."

PLEASE...NO ONE BUY HIS WHACK ALBUM!

HE IS A TOTAL DOUCHE BAG!

He is right up there with Jason with me.

***

Ed. Ed. Ed. I love Ed.

He left for work, I think got fired or quit his job, to come back... and boy is he adorable.

He is my new favorite.

Kiptyn is still good... but she has reservations about him.

REID is a close second to Ed...for me, for her....

He is growing on me.

I like how he banters and teases and jokes with her.

Kiptyn makes fish lips when he kisses her.

Ed's the one.

He has to be.

***

I bet Wes doesn't show up for the "Men tell all" show.

And if he does happen to... he will probably be wearing a billboard of a picture of his album on his shirt or a huge piece of cardboard.

I hope the jerk Mike, punches him out.

That would be great.

***

Next week, they head off to Maui.

Hmmm....

The drama continues...

Da Da DA!...

All Star Game 1...William

Holy Cow!!!

Well... we went to the game... got there early, scoped out a great spot...

The weather was really, really nice...

We started play at 8 p.m. ish... more like 8:30, and the first inning TOOK FOREVER!

Heck... the first HALF of the inning took FOREVER!

The other team had first ups, and they whacked that ball so much they scored 7 RUNS!!!

Before we even got our first chance at bat!!!

I felt sooo badly for our pitcher.

They pulled him out and put in my William.

He did pretty well.

The other team scored something like 14 runs total, and we had 2. William hit the first run in.

Yeah... it wasn't looking very good for our team...

then...

something changed...

I don't know what it was...it was the 4th inning, almost 2 hours had passed... and we started

scoring runs! Their pitcher walked 3 of us in a row... then they switched pitchers again...

and we started SMACKING the ball.

Unfortunately... they pulled William out of the game... I don't know why... I didn't ask...

THEN...

THEN...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

THE OUTFIELD SPRINKLERS came on...

Then the INFIELD sprinklers...

They called the players out of the water... a dude scrambled to get the water turned off...

THEN ALL THE LIGHTS WENT OUT!!!

It was Little League curfew time...

We all had a good laugh.

Needless to say...

we didn't get to finish our 7 innings... we had to stop at the top of the 5th. The score somehow became 16-10... I dont' know where the other two runs of theirs came from...

Soooo... tomorrow... we get to continue our game at 5:30 p.m., in the heat... but at least it will be light outside and dry!!! LOL!

I felt so badly for the board members trying to get those sprinkler turned off.

I know how it is... with so much to do... to forget something...

But you should have heard the President of their league on her cell phone...

yelling at someone up one side and down the other about what happened...

She was letting someone have it!!!

***

It's not over until it's over...

It was a very, very interesting night.

***

I'm going to bed.. no Trainwreck TV tonight...

Wish us luck and skill for tomorrow!!!

Hey! Look at me! I know how to put someone down!

It's Monday.

It's hot.

The pool is calling my name.

***

We have a baseball game tonight for William

and another one tommorow night for Alex.

Finally.

***

I'll post more when we get home.

I'll have my Trainwreck TV all watched and ready to go around midnight.

Wish us luck!

This particular team is a team divided... lots of "different" personalities, not a lot of commeraderie. Lot's of only children and their spoiled ways.

William is sooooo not used to that type of team.

Let's hope they can pull their heads out of their butts long enough to realize they need to cheer each others triumphs instead of delighting in each others mistakes.

You should hear some of the banter... it's really ridiculous!

At one game during the season, I had a couple of people from other teams come over and ask if the team knew they were on the same team. I was mortified.

William just wants everyone to get along, put their heads down and play some ball.

He is the oldest on the team, and in High School, which changes how you do things, but he loves to play ball so much, he is willing to put up with the "Junior High Mentality" as he calls it.

Oh... if he would only remember that a couple of short years ago... he.. too was a pip squeak Jr. Higher. LOL!

What cracks me up the most... is the kids that try... every single practice... to call William out on something... no matter what it is... they will always try to find SOMETHING to fault William with... whether it be his glove on the ground, how he swings, the zits on his face (oh... they should jussst wait) and William, being the gentle Giant that he is... KNOWS he can swat those little guys like a bug... and just looks at them and smirks... It is so funny to see that stuff happen. Those little boys THINK it bothers William... and he just comes home and laughs.

I love that he knows who he is... and doesn't feel the need prove his might or his position...

There is also an AWFUL lot of cussing on this team. So much so... my hubby and I are afraid some of the kids will be thrown out of a game during these Allstars.

Will hates when players cuss at each other.

It isn't tolerated at his school, it shows ignorance and poor speech skills, and one boy in particular makes it a habit to say the F bomb during every sentence.

His parents must be so proud.

William, during the regular season, implored the coach to institute a punishment of running laps for extensive cussing.

Will did not win points for that one from the team.

I love a leader.

*

So... here's hoping things have changed a little in the post season practices and some respect was learned and taught during practices.

I really hope we win.

Johnny is coming home!

Johnny comes home today!

Oh yeah... I haven't told you where he's been!

My Father in Law, John, took him up to his place, a farm, for the past few days.

It was the first time Johnny has spent any time away from us overnight, and he didn't bat an eyelash... he even called yesterday to ask if he could stay an extra night.

I said "yes" of course... even though I miss my little man soooo much.

***

He forgot to call me and fill me in on his day the first night, so I called him... and he was busy

being push on a Merry Go Round and giggling when he answered the cell phone, I just told him to have a great time and I would talk to him later.

***

The next day, he called me around 10 a.m. and barely took in a breath when he said this...

"Hi Mama, guess what... Grandpa and me.... we went to a Quail Habitat up here in the desert, and we put water in holes for the thirsty Quail, and we painted some wells, and I got to put my name in the wet paint stuff, and don't worry, Grandpa is making sure I have sunscreen on, and we are drinking lots and lots of water, and I'm having so much fun, and we are really way far out here in the desert, and I gotta go now, cuz we are so busy doing stuff that I can't talk anymore... bye... I love you and tell William and Alex I love them too, bye!... CLICK.

THAT was the extent of our conversation.

He was having the time of his life. He was getting undivided attention... he didn't have to share any attention with 2 big brothers, it was just he and his Grandpa/pal doing good works for animals in the desert.

My Father in Law has chickens, peahens, peacocks, show goats, pocket Yorkies, and a host of other animals on his place... perfect for Grandsons.

My FIL adores these boys. ADORES them...

I know they are in such great hands when he takes them.

***

I have missed Johnny terribly though.

The family dynamic just isn't the same when one of my little ducks aren't home for extended periods of time.

I also realize how wonderful, healthy, and needed the time with Grandparents is.

I never had that time with mine, my Grandparents were 81 when I was 9, and another two were 82 when I was 18, so they were ancient. I come from two parents who were the youngest of many, many children. My Grandmothers were both very close to 50 when they had my parents. So I am so happy my boys have all four of their Grandparents alive and well.

***

Johnny just called to inform me he is coming home. He sounds happy, giddy almost.

I'm sure next year he will stay even longer.

The first day he was gone, I found myself calling out his name for dinner, and having to be reminded he wasn't there. :(

The next few days are going to be filled with non stop "Oh, and Mama, we did this...and we did that... and Oh Mama... did I tell you about..."

I, for one, can't wait.

My Johnny is coming home.

Ahhhhh......

MamaKat's Writers Workshop July 2009

Oh..they were doozies of prompts today...

Sooo exciting! I'm going to write on 4 out of the 5... so get ready...

**

1. Mother's Guilt... tell us what happened...

Well.. to be perfectly honest... I don't have any Mother's Guilt. I have been present and involved with each and every tiny second of my kids days and nights for the last 15 years, and frankly... I'm exhausted. A "Job" actually looks good to me sometimes. I don't suffer from guilt. Am I supposed to? I'm a really "no nonsense" Mama, and I am always telling my kids that this is my first go around as a Mama, and I'm gonna make mistakes... lots of them. I don't worry about whether they have all the newest technology, toys, things... what have you.

They are getting an excellent education from prestigious private schools, we live in a modest home, they have traveled the world with us, they are constantly being disciplined, talked to, mentored, scolded, hugged, loved on, and are in any and every sport they wish to play... but I say "No" an awful lot... and I will never apologize for it. I don't like or enjoy being around spoiled, entitled kids, so I am trying not to create them. There are no "Jones'" I will ever feel I need to keep up with. So yeah... guilt... none found here... sorry.

***

Write 5 incredibly short books...

(Dan says..."The point is that the book is of zero size since the title is a contradiction with reality")

Okay... here's goes my titles...

"My Life as a Man"

"The Smartest People in Politics"

"The Joy of Cancer"

"Nazi's... sweet and cuddly people that they are"

Okay... so I only came up with 4. Sue me.

***

I'll be happy when______.

My answer to that is simple... I'll be happy NOW!

I just choose it... can't wait for it to happen... just be happy now.

***

Show us something you made!

I just finished this blanket for Septembers chilly Football games that my son will be playing...

He's gonna be a Sophmore and he'll be playing Varsity, and I wanted to make a blanket of this school colors so we can show our support... Go Eagles!!!

I just need to put a border or fringe around the outside... and then put it away... it's 100 degrees outside!!!

The date is wrong... my battery fell out...