Thursday, July 16, 2009

Snack Bar Stories

Snack Bar Stories is baaaaack!
I've been working it for about a week now, for the Girls All-Stars tournaments...
and my word... there are crazy people all over the place!
Business has been brisk, and I have been to Smart N Final waaaaaay too many times this week... needs to be done... and I'm near the store every morning anyway!
Tonight... some dude walks up and orders two churros and a couple of waters.
I get them, tell him it's $4, and he... yes... you guessed it...
He tried to hand me a $100 bill.
HE TAKES A BITE out of each Churro, opens both bottles of water...
I laugh just a tiny bit, smile, and sweetly tell him I just don't have the change, AND I can't take a $100 bill anyway.
Holy Cow... then he says this...
"Well, I've opened both bottles, and bitten each churro, so you won't want them back, and if you can't break my $100, I guess I got this for free! Then he smiled... and walked away from
the window.
OMG is he lucky I didn't have a gun handy.
I went out my door, caught up to him, and said this, whispering in his ear...
"You just TRY coming back to this window and ordering one more thing... just TRY! You just go on back to your seat, I'll see who you are sitting with and who you know.. and I promise... you'll need to hire a food taster next time. Go on... eat up buddy..."
About a 1/2 hour later... a little boy walked up with $4, I asked him what he wanted, and he said
"Nothing, I was just told to give you this."
I gave him a lollipop for being more brave than his Dad/uncle/friend or whoever that jerk was to him, and I told him to give the dude a message... I told him to say...
"I'm more of a man than YOU!"
A little earlier in the week, our refrigerator and our ice machine stopped working, because it was so hot. They tripped.
So after we reset them, I had to run to get cups because none of our drinks were cold, and it was over 100 outside.
Cups are expensive, and sooooo many people were too cheap to buy drinks and just wanted a cup of ice, I got hip to their jive and started charging for the cups the next game.
If you wanted a cup of ice WITH your drink you purchased... no problem... no charge...
but if you just want the cup of ice... it's .25. It was a big cup.
Some teen girls come up and try to sweet talks 3 cups of ice off of my son, and he didn't budge
(yes, I know it was because I was there), and he informs them the cups of ice are 25 cents.
If they brought the cup back, we'd fill it as many times as they wanted with ice.
They didn't like the size of the cups, and we quite vocal about it.
One of them purchased a soda, so Johnny, ran to get an even bigger cup and turned around and said... "This is the size cup you get because you brought a drink"
Apparently that was a hilarious statement, because the one girl with the
trash mouth of a Sailor, SPIT HER DRINK OUT OF HER MOUTH, ALL OVER THE FRONT OF MY SNACK SHACK! She got the pricelist all wet with her germs, my counter,
the customer at the other window...
Yeah, it was a mess.
She NEVER apologized.
She never returned for more ice.
Wonder why.
I'm thinking of stocking my Snack Bar with a dart gun next year.
Ohhh... maybe a taser!
That would be great!
On big electrical shock for trying to pass a $100 or for spitting!
Do I need a permit to carry a taser?
At the least, I'll start working on my spitballs through a straw this winter.
I'll be ready for 'em next season...
Come and geeettt iiiit!


  1. i think i woulda doused her with some iced water..... :)

  2. Oh My!! Rough for you but hysterical post. Hugs, Jen

  3. Gosh, Saundra, you really help me keep perspective. Thank you and gee, my swim season canteen is painless compared to these shenanigans.

  4. Oh my! Great stories!!!! If you get a minute, stop by my blog, I have a pretty funny one today too!

  5. OMG..who are these people? I don't think I could trust myself not to assault someone who acted like what you described.

  6. You go girl! I can't believe that man would try to pull that crap!!

  7. You know how the grocery stores put a copy of a returned check next to the register demanding that the cashier NEVER accept another check from that person? I think you ought to publish a list to be posted by the menu at the Snack Bar: The Rudest People to Patronize this Snack Bar. You could even write a little blurb about each person's behavior.

  8. You made me laugh ten times reading this...and that guy was a jackass! And nice manners sailor mouth girl. What is the world coming to? Really?

  9. Just think, without people like that you would have no idea how sane you actually are... ^_^

  10. Just think, without people like that you would never realize how sane you actually are! ^_^


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