Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I crazy aboot him... but he has E.D.

Okay... hold up! Wait a minute!!!!
Am I the ONLY ONE IN AMERICA... that ACTUALLY THOUGHT... that
the OVERNIGHT DATES IN THE FANTASY SUITES...
were mostly just "R" rated and not "X" or "XXX".
Am I STILL that naive?
Did you SEE and HEAR all the 'Alluding' to erectile dysfunction going on in tonights episode?
HELLOOOOOOO!
It's NATIONAL TV... DUMMIES!
Your MAMA'S and DADDIES are WATCHING!!!
Holy crap!
Buck neked in the bathtub...
and that white, braless frock she had sprayed glued to her miniscule boobs...
Can she say... "Leave that junk for your own personal bedroom?"
I DON'T WANNA SEE IT!
I AM SOOOOO EMBARRASSED FOR JILLIAN RIGHT NOW!
I have no words...
Okay...that's never true... I ALWAYS have words... but OMG!
I swear... in my heart of hearts... I really thought that the girls didn't ACTUALLY have SEX with
three guys in the same freaking week.
I mean... come on... that is waaaaaay slutty!
W-H-O-R-E!
Yeah... I spelled it!
What of it!
All the rubbing, the oil, the squealing... ugh!
***
Kiptyn still kisses like he has 16 pairs of lips... what IS that?
***
Reid... dude... that Jillian is one needy chick.
She DESPERATELY needs you to make a FOOL of yourself on National TV, and say you love her before she dumps you...
I mean... really.
I liked ya.
I thought you were better for her than Kippy.
And Ed...
You really put it out there... huh?
I loved your parents.
Loved them.
But dude... Jillian totally called you out on that "passion not happening" thing.
I was fully expecting to see a Viagra commercial right after...
Do you really want a women that airs your dirty laundry like that on National TV?
I wouldn't want to marry a girl that gave it away to two other dudes in the same week...
neither should you!
***
Holy Cow.
Bye Bye Reid.
Maybe you'll be the next Bachelor.
I really thought Ed was going... but he said the magic words... "I love you Jillian" and
"I swear, you won't be disappointed" hmmm.....
Sorry dude...
She really needs you to "put it out there" and be "spontaneous"
(oh, how I HATE that word now because of her!) Squeal... Squeal!!!
I HATE WES!
Just wanted to put that out there again.
Crap... three more weeks of this insanity.
I am so glad it's only once a week.
I can't write any more about it for too much longer.

13 comments:

  1. LOL I mean...really LOL. I said the same thing to my husband last night about the girls sleeping with 3 guys. Why do I watch this crap?!?

    I liked Reid. I really did. :( I don't think he would want to be the bachelor b/c of it's fast pace. He said the whole time he didn't warm up quickly. But, oh, how I would watch that junk, too, if he was the next Bachelor....

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  2. your entry is exactly why i don't watch that show. to me it's like watching soft porn on national tv. i don't understand why a woman would want to put herself out there, making out with 25 guys (is anyone ever tested for STD's?) and sleeping with others. the whole concept is disgusting. i put it in the same league as Rock of Love or Tila Tequila shows. her family must be devastated. i hate the way people kiss on tv too. like they are eating each other's faces or slurping soup out of a bowl. gross! have a wonderful day and take care.
    -Kiki

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  3. amen sister! i was seriously shocked that jillian was trying to do the dirty dirty on tv, how skanky of her! and poor ed, he gets thrown under the bus because he was a little camera shy...so not cool...i loved your post!! i'm so glad you came over!!

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  4. Oh my gosh... your title totally had me CRACKING UP!!!!!

    I too couldnt believe they kept bringing up the "pressure to perform"... WHAT?????

    Reid is my favorite by far & sad to see him go - but now, all the ladies will be after him & he'll find a good woman!

    I said the same thing... how are all these guys shaking hands after knowing they boinked the same lady! I'd just be glad I was Kiptyn & went first!

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  5. I think it was wrong of Jillian to imply that.... and I'm not even convinced that it was because he couldn't perform. I think he was tired and fell asleep. Wouldn't you? Flying from California, to Spain, to Hawaii... spending the day in the sun.... meetinging the parents... I'd need a nap, too!

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  6. Must be the Italian Mama in us that we agree! I waas a little shocked about the soft porn-esque bathtub scene! They freaking showed all their clothes on the floor, just in case there was a doubt that they were naked. Your blog is too funny and your family is adorable!

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  7. I totally missed it last night and it also didn't record! I am gonna cry!!!! It sounds like a GOOD episode that I didn't want to miss! Trainwrecks are fun! LOL!

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  8. She is a dumb ass for letting Reid go. On a related note, he's single and Philadelphia is a mere 8 hours from me. Road trip! LOL

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  9. Reality TV seems to have no limits anymore.

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  10. Julie Arena SwopeTuesday, July 14, 2009

    I too am just stunned! I would not even want it to look like I was sleeping with all 3 or any for that matter. What a tramp!

    Why, why do I watch that show? I keep saying I won't and then I do.

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  11. I really struggled to write about the show this week too.

    I still hate Wes too!

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  12. Another great recap! I think Jillian has as much sex appeal as a dirty towel! That whole bedroom scene with Ed was EMBARRASSING! I say she picks Kippy in the end and he dumps her within a week.

    I'll say it too, "I HATE WES".

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  13. I'm so with you on this one. It was a bit much for me.

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