Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The other woman in my car.

Remember the good ole days...
Waaaayyy back when... when you drove in your car and the only noise or voices you heard were ones of either the radio or the kids?
Yeah... I miss those days.
I remember... in the not so distant past, when one needed to get from point A to point B, one only needed to either ask someone, or get a Thomas Guide.
Thomas Guides are quiet... they don't talk back, and I have never, ever wanted to strangle a Thomas Guide.
There are three letters in the alphabet I hate now.
The letters are
"P" and
Put them all together and what do you have?
I missed 48 minutes of my sons first High School Soccer game because of G, P, and S.
Yes... I used to love my Garmin GPS in my car.
I really did!
But today... today... it turned into the DEVIL! It is evil and MUST be destroyed!
Why.. oh why... do I rely on a device that depends on a Satellite miles above me possibly floating over Russia while I am looking for Beaumont High School? Why!!!!
(Yes, I know my cell phone relies on one too... but that is a whole other story)
That stupid thing took me to every. single. school in Beaumont EXCEPT the one I wanted.
It was mind numbingly ridiculous!
Her voice.... her voice seemed to take on a sarcastic tone, with every school we went to.
It was like she was taunting me.
Like she was having an affair with my husband, and wanted to prove she was the better woman.
Every time she said
"Recalulating" I pictured her neck with my hands wrapped tightly around it...squeezing... squeezing until no breath remains.
If Alex hadn't been in the front seat, I would have chucked her out the window.
Apparently the satellite nor ANYONE I ASKED THAT LIVES IN BEAUMONT knows that a BRAND NEW HIGH SCHOOL was built there last year.
I asked about 10 people while driving around where that God forsaken school was.
I happened to stumble upon it by accident. I followed a school bus that looked like it had high school aged kids in it.
So much for miss priss the Garmin lady.
So I saw the last half of the game. Will did really well. It's weird being able to see him without all the pads from football.
When we got home... I told the GPS off, and slowly disconnected her... so I could watch the power drain from her slowly until she finally died.
It was a beautiful sight.
Whose got the last laugh now... sista!
I really showed her huh?
Yeah... I really need to get some sleep.
Insomnia sucks.


  1. ACK! I would have been PISSED! I am glad you finally found the school...but really??????? No one knew where it was????

    YAY for Will doing good though!

  2. I must be the last person in the USA to not have a cell phone or GPS, but they befuddle me a bit.
    I have an Atlas in my backseat pocket. It never lets me down.;-)
    Sorry you missed part of Will's game..glad to hear he did well!

  3. Thanks you two... It was really frustrating.
    I saw parts of California I never knew existed.

  4. Yikes!
    I dont have GPS, she sounds like a major biotch! HAHAHA
    I hate getting lost, I feel ya.
    Are you still sleeping really badly?

  5. I get lost in my driveway on occasion... I have lived in my current town for 22 years and still have no idea where I'm going. I'm not sure a gps would help. I'm glad you didn't miss the whole game. LOL... love your description of ringing 'her' neck.

  6. OMG too funny! Good one Saundra!


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