Small Talk Six... Momdot.com

SIX THINGS THAT NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME SMILE.

1. The Ocean... I adore the beach and open water.

2. My kids belly laughing.

3. Babies. All babies.

4. I Love Lucy

5. The prospect of going shopping.

6. Someone else making dinner.

YOUR TURN!

Photo Story Friday!

Daddy went on a little shopping spree last night... and this is what he came home with!

Hellooooo! Couldn't he have at LEAST gone to the jewelry store for a little

bling for me?

Really! The nerve!

:)

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Writers Workshop

The Prompts:

1.) For your birthday a sibling has decided to have the first six months of your blog printed and bound. Write a forward for the book

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.2.) Write a 26-line poem using all the letters of the alphabet, where the first line starts with the letter "A," the second "B," the third "C," etc., culminating with the final line starting with "Z."(writersdigest.com)

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3.) Start your story with, "In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea." And end it with, "And that's how I attempted to make this world a better place.(writersdigest.com)

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4.) What would the truth have done? Write about a time when honesty was NOT the best policy.(writingfix.com)

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5.) What made your childhood bearable? Write about it.(writingfix.com)

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I choose number 5.

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Why I loved my childhood

By Saundra Shaver

Grade 40 1/2

Teacher: MamaKat

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What made my childhood bearable? I know I say this all the time... but having immigrant parents. My parents weren't like all the other parents I saw and knew...

Mine were... different.. and I thought... better.

First of all, My Papa had this cool accent. Of course, I didn't even KNOW he had an accent until he came to school to pick me up one day in Kindergarten, and my friends heard him say...

"Hi a Sandra... Youa readya toa goa homea?"

The next day, the kids said my Daddy talked funny. I said it's because he was new to our planet.

(I kinda got my countries and planets mixed up)

My Mom came to America when she was 17, married my Papa at 18 and had me at 19.

She was waaaaay younger than a lot of my friends Moms.

My Mama cooked and cleaned all the time, with records on. Not American records.

All Italian recording artists.

Cool ones.

I know every word to every Italian 50's, 60's and 70's songs.

***

What made my childhood special really...was the culture that my parents brought to America with them. I was immersed in the European way.

Fine crystal every Sunday.

Dinner was an event, to be eaten with your family and friends around a table,

wine flowing, loud banter, hands banging on tables, arms flying every which way.

Every week, we took a drive to Upland to the only Italian Store in the area back then, and

we would buy imported goodies that made my parents feel like they were home in Italy.

First pressed olive oil, sun dried tomatoes, sardines, tuna in olive oil,

dried figs, rock hard salami, aged provolone cheese,

iron cheese graters, pasta in 5 lb boxes with only Italian writing on them,

Olives so dark and bitter it would curl your hair.

The smell of that store, which is STILL in business 40 years later, to this day, hits you like

you are on a gondola, eating fresh cheese and grapes.

Mama cooked everything fresh... all the time.

We have never... to this day... purchased a bottle of spaghetti sauce. To us.. .it doesn't exist.

To us, grated cheese first comes in a block... and you fresh grate it at home.

I still do this in my own home. No jarred sauce here either.

We were eating sun dried tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, exotic cheeses and all that frou frou stuff everyone eats now... 40 years before it was cool.

***

Italian was the language spoken. It was like someone was constantly singing to you.

The rolling r's, the accentuation of the words when passion is needed.

Oh! I adore it!

***

We jarred everything. Our own tomato sauce. We picked and jarred our own olives, artichokes, mushrooms, truffles, we made our own jams.

We had over 100 fruit trees on our property. Pomegranate, pear, cherry, orange, lemon, lime, plum, nectarine, peach, 5 varieties of grapes, apricots, olives, you name it!

Papa grew and still grows every vegetable known to man.

Every time he comes over... he has a huge bag of goodies straight from his garden.

We made our own wine.

We had chickens, rabbits, ducks, dogs, cats, goats..

We would attend Wine Festivals and stomp grapes with our feet.

We would ask local grape growers if we could have a stem of vine so he could graft it to his own.

My Papa once had a tree that grew Apricots, plums, apples, nectarines and peaches...ON THE SAME TREE! He grafted it himself.

No, we did not have a farm. Just a 1/4 acre in Fontana.

My childhood was filled with laughter, loud family members, passionate people that loved deeply, demonstrative relatives, great food, parents that were from another world.

***

Sometimes I feel like my boys are cheated out a little bit.

I was born here.

First Generation.

I don't have a cool accent.

We do grow a grip of trees and have a great garden... but

no canning, and such.

I loved not living the typical American lifestyle.

It broadened my sense of self.

I knew there was more than just America... from a very early age.

Although I love America, Italy feels like home to me too.

Each time I've been in Italy, I've never felt out of place.

When we took the kids a couple years ago... they were very comfortable.

I do try to incorporate what I know into our life. I can't help it... it's in me.

They say they 'feel' more Italian than anything else.

***

My childhood rocked my socks off.

Thanks Mama and Papa!

Wordful Wed with Angies Circus!

My view every day leaving Car Pool. Isn't it gorgeous?

My view during Soccer at the boy's school.

This thing has been going everyday since December. At night, it lights up and advertises on the side like a giant TV screen alongside the freeway.. Noooo... that won't cause any accidents along the freeway!

Science Fair is FINALLY OVER!! YYYAAAHHHOOOOO!

We have our lives back!

Ugh...The Jason, Melissa, Molly, Deanna debacle!

I like to think of myself as a fairly level headed person.

Don't laugh... it's true... it's my fantasy... don't spoil it for me...

Okay... so I'm a crazed lunatic most of my life... but on some days... I can be downright

inspiring! (Okay...once was July 1985, and another time was December 1992)

Whatever!

***

So tonight, much to my chagrin... I watched the Bachelor. Reality Steve really ruined it for me.

Notice the lack of exclamation points. Yeah. My heart wasn't in it.

I kept looking at Jason with distain and ugly thoughts.

My mind kept asking questions like...

"Was Steve right? Does he dump sweet Melissa on National TV?"

"Only to turn around and ask Molly to marry him?"

"Then does he really tell Melissa that he was cheating on her with Molly on the weekends she didn't go to Seattle?"

You know... I don't even care anymore if Deanna comes back.

They got me hook, line and sinker... and that is something I won't forget.

They use and abuse... that ABC, and I know what a boycott is... they better be shakin' in their Manolo Blahniks and Bruno Magli's.

Oh... the pain... the wretched... wretched pain. (still no exclamation points.)

***

Tonight was the "Tell All" episode of this truly trainwreck season.

They practically asked Jillian to be the next bachelorette... but if this season goes down the way Reality Steve put it... the entire Bachelor franchise will be seen only in hell.

***

I, for one, will be outraged if Jason knew ahead of time that he was to dump Melissa, for ratings, even though he really wanted Molly. It would break my cynical heart! (there's one)

The end of tonights show was a close up of Chris Harrison (the host)

and his disclaimer that the Final Rose or After the Final Rose or whatever it was

was so sensitive, so hush-hush, that they "wanted to give the threesome the privacy they deserved" or some mish-mash talk like that.

Hmmmm... how much PRIVACY is there when you are taping it for NATIONAL TV?

If they don't see us... does that mean we don't really exist?

Hellooooo! (there's another... I'm gettin' all warm 'n tingly now...)

Melissa is gonna get royally dumped and then be told she was cheated on!

Oh man, I hope Steve was dead wrong! (ohh, another)

***

Stephanie didn't look nearly as old as she had in the past. She looked very lovely tonight... not all shiny and pulled back with duct tape.

***

Stalker Shannon's teeth were in rare form.

and EWWWWW when she was picking her nose and wanted a kiss from Jason right after...

on second thought.. if he dumps Melissa, then Ha! He deserved it!

(oh the exclamations are flowin' now!)

***

The chick that thought she was so gorgeous and worth it.. looked tore up from the floor up!

***

And while Naomi was talking... all that was seen was a set of twins...

behind her very large head.

Naomi was asked a lot of questions. Of course.

Boobs = ratings.

Welcome to America.

So... Next week, the truth will come out.

If it all comes down the way Steve says... I will never watch that stupid show again.

If it doesn't... WOO HOO! I CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT SEASON!

But... I have a terrible suspicion that Steve will be correct.

I just hope he isn't correct in thinking Jason was in on it from the beginning.

That would really suck.

WHERE ARE MY FOLLOWERS GOING????

Was it something I said?

I lost 5 blog stalkers IN ONE DAY!

Whoa!

What's the deal?

Oh wait.. I just noticed someone posted about this and blogger is to blame...

be right back...

Okay.. all is well... they'll be put back apparently... but when? I don't know.

I had to do a smell check...

I shower daily,

use deodorant daily,

try not to cuss on my blog and when I am feeling especially mouthy, I will use symbols instead...

so I didn't understand...

I thought I may have lost readers because I didn't enjoy Nascar. LOL!

I never said I wasn't sensitive!

Okay... check out the blogger buzz and it'll 'splain everyting... Lucy.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

The Oscars are on...

But Hubby is watching... you guessed it.. Nascar...

THE RACE IS 15 MINUTES FROM MY HOUSE, in my hometown of Fontana,

and he is glued to the set watching grown men drive stupidly fast and make a quick left for 5 straight hours.

I love the Oscars. I don't see movies very much, and the last one I saw at a theatre was...

27 Dresses...

so, needless to say, I don't know ANY movie that is up for nomination, but I just

ADORE the Oscars.

It all happens less than an hour from my home, and I look forward to it

every year. My husband was stuck in major traffic on Friday, in LA, and he

HATES THE OSCARS because of that.

Hugh Jackman, the gorgeous Meat Cake, is hosting... yummy.

It's been an Aussie and English invasion recently on the Hollywood sets.

I did catch the opening act before the hubster informed me his race was on...

that meant... Saundra, vacate the premises for the testosterone highway.

So... I am here.

Oh yeah.. the Opening act... was FANTASTIC... very inventive, very "appropo" for the times...

budget cuts and all... it was hilarious.

Sofia Loren was in the audience, and lots of oldies but goodies. THAT'S what I love about

the Oscars... the golden oldies showing up and teaching the youngin's what it truly means to

be glamorous without being overtly trashy.

So, my DVR is still recording the show.. and as soon as hubby starts snoring (because we KNOW he will), I'll steal the remote and watch my beloved Oscars.

Every now and again, one needs a little frivolity... hence my like of the Bachelor (which is now my newest witch hunt...ohhhh I am so mad) and the Oscars.

***

On a side note... has anyone seen the commercial about the girl

riding a tandem bike with 3 foot long armpit hair?

Oh. My. Heavens.

What has this world come to!!!

I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw it.

I tried to get a picture of it... but thankfully there aren't any. Just video, and I still can't get video to post...

Oy vay.. toooo gross!

I'm outta here... have a great Sunday Evening!

Saturday Stuff

Well, today was a day!

I had a Pampered Chef show in Azusa, about 40 minutes away,

with hosts I haven't seen in 2 years...

Oh, how I have missed them!

Such a kick in the head!

I did a housewarming show for a young woman who bought a great house ALL BY HERSELF,

and it has a BASEMENT!

Why the capitals? Because almost NO HOUSES in CA. have basements.

This house was built in 1920 and was sooo freaking charming...

I am so proud of you Sandy!

The weather was perfect, we had the show outside in this awesome backyard covered courtyard

complete with a fire pit and dance floor... so amazing!

So I made some money and got 5 bookings all while my Men were

at the Nascar Races in Fontana.

I. hate. Nascar.

But, the hubby loves it... so I keep my mouth shut.

I just don't get it..

Hurry up... turn left.. hurry up... turn left...repeat 500 times! The boys all had a blast, and came home of with lots of stories

about the people they were sitting around.

I have come to the conclusion that my boys are total snobs.

I love it and hate it at the same time.

But my oldest came home with an observation that I think merits mentioning.

He said...

"Mom, you would have died... there was a guy there, with Tattoos all over his body... the art looked really expensive. His clothes were torn up and his shoes were worn,

and for a second, I was feeling really sorry for him and was going to ask Dad to buy him some food... then I saw him plunk down $60 for beer, and a bag of candy... and when he smiled at me...

HE HAD NO TEETH!... Mom... I think he should have spent the money he spent at the races, on some dental work..."

Yes, my boys hang out with Mom a little too much. It was good for them to hang out with Dad today. I needed my estrogen replacement therapy from my show full of women.

***

Johnny noticed that a lot of the women that should have worn more clothing... weren't wearing nearly enough. He said... "Mama... she was almost showing her boobies when she was jumping up and down!"

So I said..was she pretty?

He said..."Mama... her tank top was really small, and her body was really big"

What an education they got at Nascar today!

I'm so proud!

SMALL TALK SIX with MOMDOT.COM

SIX THINGS I WOULD BE WILLING TO FLASH SOMEONE FOR...

1. 5 MILLION DOLLARS

2. 10 MILLION DOLLARS

3. 15 MILLIONS DOLLARS

4. 20 MILLION DOLLARS

5. 25 MILLION DOLLARS

6. 30 MILLION DOLLARS.

Catch the drift? NO ONE would ask.. and if they did... I would try to get as much as possible. My guess... they would PAY ME to cover back up...so I win... either way!

Photo Story Friday

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

I don't know how many of you watch Top Chef, but in Season 2 or 3,

My cousin, Frank (also known as Frankie the Bull)

was on the show!

My Mama and his Papa are brother and sister...

So after the show... like a good relative, I called his butt up and

asked him to do a food demo for my Pampered Chef downline and some crossline

consultants.

We had people coming out of the woodwork... and it was a great evening!

He ended up staying the night and he, Bill and I had the BEST time talking

and laughing about when we were little and some of the fun times we had...

So here he is... Frankie Joe, as we all know him.

He was the one that threw Marcel's stuff across the room. He gaves us all the inside scoop about that... and Marcel TOTALLY deserved it. Of course, the editors never tell the full story...

My two youngest, Johnny was Franks Asst. Chef And he let him go up on stage with him! He made two INCREDIBLE dishes in minutes, and then took questions from his audience of 100 people. He has a book out, and is also featured in the Top Chef cookbook. I am so proud of him, and I just want him to know I hope he returns from Nigeria soon, we all miss him. He is right up there, for me, like my other cousin Lorenzo. Even before he became a big bad celebrity!

MamaKat's Writers Workshop!

The Prompts:

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1.) If you were starring on American Idol TONIGHT and HAD to sing,

what song would you choose and why.

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2.) Take a picture of yourself right this minute without primping

and explain to us why it is you have not washed your hair today.

*** 3.) I just asked Pat to help me with a writing prompt so here's his:

"What do you think about the NBA All Star game"...blech.

*** 4.) What's your number one pet peeve? Develop a punishment for anyone caught in the act.

*** 5.) Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up.

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Well number 1 sounds like fun... but requires more thought than my fuzzy mind can handle right now... so let's just say..

"I couldn't carry a tune if you game me a wheelbarrow!!", and end it right here and now.

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Number 2... See Here for that horrible sight... and see why I will not repost.

Nuff said...

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Number 3... don't do B-ball.

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Number 4... I have soooo many pet peeves... I may have to say them all... because I can't choose just one... sorry!

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Number 5 is EASY... and I have soooo much to choose from!

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Without further adieu...

My Pet Peeves.

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1. Chewing loudly, with mouth open. STOP IT!

Punishment = a quick slap in the face and/or wiring jaw shut!

2. Turning every.single.light.in.the.house.on.just.to.go.to.the.bathroom.

Punishment = going through a week with a blindfold on.

3. Coming to tell me something when I am in the shower... that could have totally waited until I got out. How many people want to know about a bill that came in while "washing that grey right outta your hair"???? I mean really!

Punishment = my taking video of perpetrator while on the toilet and posting it on UTube.

4. People who make me repeat myself... over and over and over and over...

Yes, that's you boys...

Punishment = making perpetrators listen to a taped recording of me singing the National Anthem like a really awful American Idol nerd.

5. Turning up the volume of a laptop, while we are watching TV, in the same room.. Helloooo.

The Laptop can MOVE!

Punishment = FULL VOLUME CHICK FLICKS... ALL NIGHT LONG, WHILE YOU ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!

6. Talkers in movie theaters. THERE IS NO REWIND BUTTON IN A THEATER... SHUT UP!

Punishment = Airhorn and ejection from theater seat, like in the cartoons.

***

Rotten things I did to my little brother...

aka...Ahhhh, those are some great memories...dot.com!

I LOVED making him totally believe he was adopted. He had blonde hair, and we all had black hair... so it was easy. He soooo wasn't adopted... but even in High School, when I learned the finer points of copy machines... I made his birth certificate look like he came from KMart!

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Yes, of course I put his hand in a pan of water and made him wet his bed! Duh!

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I made him dress up in a dress when he was 8. Oooohhh, my Mama was SOOOOOOOOOOOO MAD AT ME! I think she is still a little pissed.

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TOTALLY blamed him for EVERY broken thing in the house. I was really convincing too... able to cry at the drop of a hat... mmmm hmmmm!

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Made him believe that every time he heard a police siren, they were coming to get him for tattling on me for breaking something. I told you I can be VERY convincing!

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Told him our parents would take him back to Kmart if he didn't do everything I told him to do.

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I was rotten. But only some of the time. I also did a ton of sticking up for him and protecting him too, especially when we got older.

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Man, if my boys ever pull that crap with their siblings... I'm gonna....

THE BACHELOR SPOILER... NO WAY...JASON AND MOLLY!

THIS JUST IN!

Thank you C @ TattoedMinivanMom for the Reality Steve info!

I don't know how long it would have taken me to hear about this if it wasn't for you!

ALL YOU BACHELOR FANS (OR PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO LIKE TO TEACH MY BOYS WHAT KIND OF WOMEN TO STAY AWAY FROM)... GO TO THIS SITE...NOW!!!

GOOGLE "REALITY STEVE"and click on 'The Truth"

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES OR EARS!

I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE IF IT IS 100% TRUE... BUT

IT SURE SOUNDS CONVINCING!

JASON AND MOLLY ARE SICK AND TWISTED...

POOR MELISSA!

IF IT IS TRUE!

TIME WILL TELL? WON'T IT?

GO TO THAT SITE AND CHECK IT OUT...

IF YOU WANT A SPOILER FOR THE

BACHELOR... BUT IF YOU DON'T... DON'T

CLICK ON IT!

OMG.... SOOOOO SAD!

These girls make us women look bad and all, but

NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE

MELISSA WILL BE TREATED!

PLEASE... CLICK ON THE THE LINK!

Okay... did that sound manic enough? How do the large letters look? Convincing that I am totally into that TRAINWRECK OF A SHOW?

Yeah.. maybe I am a little... if only for the Deanna Drama... but alas... she is but a teensy

tiny part of the Drama... according to RealitySteve.

I don't like when people are used to elevate something or someone else.

If what that guy says is true... ABC can kiss The Bachelor Goodbye.

Sooooo many doe eyed, Twilight reading, preteen girls are gonna be

DEVASTATED if this crap goes down!

So sad.

Letter to the Music Man

Letter to the jerks of the world who play their "music" in their cars so the rest of the world can hear it...

or

"Hey Jerkoff! Turn your STUPID MUSIC DOWN!"

***

Now... I know I am getting old.

I CAN'T STAND to hear someone else's music coming from their car... anytime, anywhere.

I know, you know what I am talking about.

You are sitting at a stop light, minding your own business, listening to YOUR stereo at a level conducive to being able to hear past 41 years old, and up drives this punk.

You know who he/sometimes but rarely she, is.

The long, primered or black Monte Carlo, circa 1975, or the 1995 Nissan Sentra, that cost exactly $900 off the lot at Big Jim's House of Crap, ooops... I mean Cars.!

Up the side it sidles, all you can hear is BOOM.... BOOOM...BOOOOM!

Your car is shaking, the windows are rattling, your eardrums are throbbing, and you can feel your fillings in your teeth loosening...

So what do you do? You open your window... TO SEE WHERE IT IS COMING FROM!

You know and I know you do... because *you* in this letter, is ME!

Then you look at the well raised, music prodigy and stare him down.

He happily bobs his *empty* head up and down to the *music*, completely oblivious that...

1. he is disturbing the peace.. MY PEACE! and

2. IF an ambulance were to come by, he wouldn't know about it until it HIT HIM!

***

So this morning, on our 10 mile, freeway drive to schools, we get off the freeway and are stopped at a stoplight, when BOOM, BOOOM BOOOOM starts shaking the car!

My 14, 12 and 9 year olds are upset... because it was completely drowning out a song we were all singing very loudly and horribly to and having a great time being silly and making fun of Britney Spears's fake *voice* when she *sings* Womanizer.

Johnny, 9, asks if it's an earthquake.

William, sweet soul, says "Holy cow... Mom, I don't even listen to MY music that loud, and I'm 14!" I kiss his hand and thank him for not listening to it like that.

***

I look around, and this jerkoff is playing this *music* at 7:15 a.m., in a RESIDENTIAL AREA,

and has absolutely no respect for others. None. Zilch. Zero. Nada.

So buddy, here's what I have to say to you...

And I am seriously considering writing this out on paper and physically handing the following out to the music predators when I encounter them...

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1. It is painfully obvious that your car cost you $900 cash only, but your stereo system set you back $10 GRAND! Really? How does that compute in your world?

Hint... girls don't only like to hear good music in cars... they actually like to SIT IN nice cars.

In the future,you'll be surprised find out that you can't get away with a Platinum band and a CZ crystal as the *diamond*... get a freakin' clue.

***

2. Your Mama DID NOT DO A GOOD JOB raising you.

How dare you impose on other people's lives like that!

***

3. I REFUSE to pay for your cochlear implants when you pull your head out of your A**, and realize that you are damaging one of your only 5 SENSES! We only have 5 dude!!!

You are messing with 20% of your life!

***

4. Trunks are for luggage, sports equipment, and drunk friends you don't want vomiting on your pleather like seats... NOT SPEAKERS AND WOOFERS AND TWEETERS!

***

5. Note to yourself... IF YOUR CARS PART ARE RATTLING OFF AND LEAVING PARTS BEHIND YOU ... YOUR MUSIC IS TOO LOUD...IDIOT!

***

6. I'm older, and I can afford a hell of a lot more than you... I can follow you home, and play nothing but Opera or Andrea Bocelli in front of your house with my

$10,000 speakers and see how you like it at 7 a.m.!

Oh wait... that wouldn't be right,huh? YOU STILL LIVE WITH YOUR MOMMY!

YOU SPENT YOUR RENT MONEY ON YOUR SPEAKERS!

Mommy cooks for you and your loser friends with stereos on their scooters!

Don't upset Mommy!

***

Catch my drift? We cool man? Know what I'm sayin' dawg....

YOU ARE A LOSER!

Turn it down... or I'll tell yo Mama!

Bet she stops payin' for your GAS...

Wordful Wednesday

One year ago this week...

We were at the beach (yes, again) enjoying a long weekend.

^The boys were, of course, being silly...

and hammy... and manly... and sometimes... they weren't around me at all... {{breathe}} and life is good with them... and so serene for the few moments they are occupied elsewhere. Oh... how I need a day like the last picture... Wanna play? Click on this button and see what all the Wordful Wednesday stuff is about! AND AT

No Deanna... WHATEVER!!!! Trainwreck TV... The Bachelor

OH. MY. CRAP!

ABC....I %$&@$ HATE YOU!!!

I can not believe it!

First of all, WHAT'S WITH THE SOFT CORE PORN IN THE HOT TUB WITH JILLIAN!

HELLOOOOOO!

YOUNG GIRLS WATCH THIS AND BELIEVE THIS IS HOW TRUE LOVE IS FOUND!

Oh, and while I'm at it...

Can you maybe NOT pull in so closely on the kissing so we can see not only the tongueage... but the couples taste receptors?

I mean REALLY!

I can see they are kissing... I don't need to count their teeth!

***

There is no need to say how completely pissed off I am that YET AGAIN... DEANNA DID NOT MAKE AN APPEARANCE...

I NOW OWE MAMAKAT 20 FREAKIN' BUCKS!

Another two hours... down the drain... with not so much as a scene buster!

CURSE YOU ABC!!!

CURSE YOU, I SAY!

***

Oh... and Jillian!

I really liked her! Much more so than Molly!

I knew her minutes were numbered when he said, while they were perched on the side of the mountain after the helicopter ride, that "She will be my friend forever..."

Yeah... she was done then.

She is sooo cool!

The whole hot dog thing... the quirky Canadian "Accent".

God... does she have great hair!

She needs to be the next bachelorette. NO! Please not the facelift, shiny faced Stephanie!

No... I couldn't handle an entire season of

"Oh, my man needs to be carressed and cared for like no other man in the world" in her Southern

accent.

No... I just couldn't stomach the airy voice and the "I'm living in fairytale land" speak.

***

Did you see... did you see... at the very end, the toast, when Jason was talking about going home to introduce the leftovers to Tye... HE NEVER ONCE LOOKED AT MOLLY!

So sad!

Molly... 'he's just not that into you!"

***

Tonight really pissed me off...yeah again...

The girls HAD to say they Loved him. I know they did!

That sucks!

What girl wants to be the first one to say something like that... on TV especially!

He said himself...

'I can't say what I'm feeling, so it was important they told me how hey felt." or something like that.

THAT SUCKS!

And Jason... really? It matters THAT much that you didn't meet your future inlaws?

Really?

These 'relationships' last all of a nanosecond after the shows finale, and you are THAT upset about it? Hmmmm.... Not that important!

So they are private people, that don't want all their dirty laundry all over the world...

be happy, you may be protected like that too, by them, someday!

IF you two make it... you are moving her butt to Seattle anyway... so Sunday Dinners with Mom and Dad inlaws are out anyway...

Deal with it!

***

I'm over Deanna showing up.

She will, she won't , she will, she won't...

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!

Oh, hell, yes I do!

IT HAS TO BE NEXT WEEK....

IT HAS TO!

I'm going to go fold laundry.

Laundry doesn't lead me on.

It doesn't tease me.

It just smells nice out of the dryer, and makes me feel safe.

My favorite room...

MamaKat had a video tag about the favorite room in her house.

She then tagged all of us...

I don't know how to post video to my blog... so i am just going to post pictures of my favorite room.

We just completely remodeled our kitchen/family room/dining room about 4 years ago,

Bill did EVERY.SINGLE.BIT of it ALL BY HIMSELF...

and it is my most favorite place to be in the world!

So here are the pictures...

I made a Scrapblog that is about 25 pages long to show the 9 month long process, and I chose 3 of my favorites.

Above... before any demo, before anything was touched. About 3 seconds after this photo, I took a sledge hammer to the one drawer that fell out every time we tried to open it. I really showed that drawer whose boss...

This was terrifying and satisfying, all at the same time. Ahhhh... the 2005 photo is the day Bill finished with the large structural stuff, the 2008 is after the decorating and the beautiful hood he made for over the stove. So... that's my favorite place... our kitchen. Where everyone gathers to eat, talk, play games, and just chill.

Deanna RETURNS TONIGHT! The Bachelor

WHAT TO DO! WHAT TO DO!

Deanna is coming back to disappoint me tonight, and, I'M AFRAID TO SAY...WILL NOT

BE THROWING A WRENCH INTO THE WHOLE PLOT THAT IS

The Bachelor!

{{sniff, sniff}}

That is my guess... that she will not be asking for Jason's heart... just to give advice.

I Hate ABC. They have toyed with me. They have used me and abused me.

Alas... I will still be watching my beloved Trainwreck TV this evening.

After I do my work...

untie the kids and let them eat today... check

kick hubby off couch before he becomes a part of it.. check

cook these... check...

Mmmmmm... homemade breadsticks to go with our veggie soup for dinner,

get the kids to bed EARLY... double check... (is 3 p.m. too early?)

Sit down and WATCH THE EPISODE OF ALL EPISODES!

Yeah... I know... I have SUCH a glamorous life. Aren't you all jealous beyond reason?

Move over Paris Hilton... I'M gonna be the trainwreck IT girl from now on...

I'll be back tonight with the tasty recap!!!

I can't wait!!!!

Small Talk Six from MomDot!

6 most romantic or unromantic things that have ever happened to you.

Romantic - My husband couldn't wait for our 10 year Anniversary to give me a new diamond ring, so he ran down the driveway with the ringbox in his hand and gave it to me, just before I left on a small business trip.

***

Unromantic - for my 39th birthday.. he didn't call me all day, and he got home late from work, and in his arms were a box with a computer printer and a box with an external hard drive.. put on the table, wrapped in the best buy bag, and he said a small "Happy Birthday" and a "Whew... I almost forgot." yeah... he couched it that night. I would have rather gotten nothing and card.

***

Romantic - Getting up every night with each of our sons, taking them out of the crib, changin their diaper and bringing them in to me so I could nurse them in bed. For a solid year.

***

Unromantic - forgetting my Birthday, and going out with is Uncle to lunch.

***

Romantic - buying me the fixings for Shirley Temples and Thrifty Chocolate Chip Ice cream when I was craving them when I was preggers, at 4 a.m.!

***

Unromantic... WHO CARES... HAVE YOU SEEN ALL THE GREAT THINGS HE'S DONE?

This list is OVER!

Happy Valentines Day!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

While it's still early in the day, I thought I'd share some ideas of how to make the day special

without breaking the bank...

1. Make heart shaped food today...

a. Piped red food coloring dyed Mashed Potatoes into hearts.

b. Make heart shaped pancakes

c. Heart shaped cookies

d. You get the picture...

***

2. Put little notes all over the house for your loved ones to read.

a. You make me happy!

b. I love you!

c. You make my heart sing!

d. You get the picture...

***

3. Start all your sentences with "I love ya"

a. I love ya... could you get the laundry for me?

b. I love ya...Dinner's ready!

c. I love ya...let's go for a walk.

d. You get the picture...

***

4. Fold your Love's bed clothes (assuming he/she wears them) into a heart on the bed like Cruise ships do.

a. You get the picture...

***

ENJOY!

Bill and I never do anything more than give each other a cute card...

but I may try a couple of these things I made up today.

You get the picture...

My son is in Like... part 2

PART 1 IS THE POST BELOW THIS ONE...

So... here is my advice... unsolicited as of right now... but hopefully he will heed it when necessary.

Dear William... my wonderful son...

***

I understand you like a girl, and may have questions. I have answers.

Be careful of her feelings. You are / may be her very first boyfriend. Be one that will help her set the standard for what she wants in a future husband. I know it sounds like a lot of responsibility, but matters of the heart are never easy, or to be taken lightly... which is precisely why it is better to be older than 14 or even 18 when going down this particular path.

Being older will help you better handle the rush of feelings you WILL have... being older will help you deal with issues still very, very foreign to you. In my personal opinion... be friends with lots and lots of different girls and have a great time platonically, so there are no worries during your precious, carefree high school years. Practice being a great guy, before being a great boyfriend.

***

1. Never put a girl down. They are fragile when they are teens. What you say can have a profound effect on her. You don't want to be the one that helps her have a horrible self esteem.. do you?

***

2. Build girls up, but only if you truly mean it. Empty compliments make for empty feelings. Tell them they are pretty if you think they are... but not too much.

Being oversensitive isn't an attractive trait to most women. If you don't have anything nice to say... be quiet.

***

3. Boys and girls will argue. It doesn't mean the relationship is over. Be careful not to get venomous. No need to get personal on looks. Don't go there. Focus on the problem... not the person. This will carry through a lifetime of sorrow if you follow it.

Because you are teens, your emotions are on overdrive, learn to keep them under control and reign them in. Allow yourselves to be young for a loooong time, and don't act on hormonal impulses. Don't you eventually want to make the choice of your future wife, and not have circumstance make that choice for you?

***

4. "I love you" are three incredibly powerful words. Don't waste them in your youth.

When you have a girlfriend, she will appreciate if you open up to her.

Make a pact with your future girlfriends that those three words are forbidden when you are both this young. Pick three other words to express how much you like each other such as...

"Bob's your Uncle"

or

"Hearts are Red"

or

"Sky is Blue"

Trust me... it'll feel like your own little secret, just between the two of you... and it'll help take the pressure off of being too "adult" too soon. And by too soon, I mean anytime before marriage, buddy.

***

5. When a girl says "No" THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANS! No matter what you think her eyes, hands, body, mouth is telling you... NO... MEANS ...NO! Put your hands up and back away from the girl. NEVER EVER, EVER SAY THESE WORDS...

"If you loved me you would..."

I WILL KILL YOU! UNDERSTAND? NO... SHE WOULD NOT IF SHE LOVED YOU...

WHEN A GIRL SAYS NO... SHE IS CHOOSING HERSELF... APPLAUD HER FOR THAT!

BE PROUD OF HER AND TELL HER YOU TOTALLY RESPECT HER FOR IT,

even if you don't... Build her up, and take a shower. A cold one.

Do NOT make me a Nonna before you are married. Save yourself...

***

6. Please realize... I understand how powerful these feelings are and can be. I was a young girl too. I will never, ever, ever discount how much you feel. I will never call it Puppy Love.

I just need you to understand that NO GIRL, ever in the world, will be worth your life.

When and if you ever break up... IT WILL HURT... SOOOO MUCH! You will be sad. You will feel like someone kicked you in the gut.

You can come to me... I know what it feels like. I remember.

I am the ONLY girl IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, INCAPABLE of falling OUT of love with you.

Don't get serious until you know without a shadow of a doubt.

You will know.. when you know.

I promise you...

Please wait to know until after college and you buy a house, or we give you a house.

Please... use these teen years to have a great, platonic time.

I want the world to know that my sons were raised to be respectful of women.

Were raised to be supportive of women.

Were raised to be manly men who care for women.

Follow your Daddy's lead.

He is a great role model for you.

But remember...I am just a girl at heart. I know what those girls who like you are going through.

Unrequited "love" is tough...

I remember swooning over a boy who didn't even know I existed.

Be kind. Smile. Build up...

and stay a teen for as long as possible.

I love you...

I am here...

I will never break up with you.

Mama

My oldest Son is in Like.

I have been hearing the name Samantha*(name changed to protect the girl) around my house

lately.

Oh, Samantha and I read this book at lunch today... or Sammie was cold today, so she is wearing

my new jacket you bought me Mom... sorry, I'll get it back tomorrow...

or

Hey Mom, did you know Sammie was on the debate team at school and she won?

So I asked him a question... and Thank God I got the answer I was hoping for... but still

don't know...

I asked him... "So, this Sammie, is she your girlfriend?"

To which he replied..."Oh, Gosh no Mom, we are just super good friends... we were walking down the hall together at lunch today and and someone else asked us the same thing, and we both said

"No! Just friends!"

MMMmmmm hmmmmm.

YOU know and I know what "just friends" can turn into... right?

Yes, I'm talking to you... my blog buddies...

Last Friday, William asked me to wait for a minute after school, he wanted me to meet someone...

and it was Sammie.

She is adorable, tiny, very polite, smart and, I could tell, completely smitten with my son.

I can't blame the sweet girl... and I can plainly see why he is smitten with her too,

you just can't help but be drawn to a bright girl like that.

***

William will be 15 in May. In some ways, he is worldly, grown up, beyond his years, and in other wayS, the ways of the heart, he is naive, new, unsure and clumsy... THANK GOD ALMIGHTY!

Bill and I haven't allowed him to "have a girlfriend" yet. He has said as much to 4 girls this year at school. How do I know? The girls parents actually came up to me and thanked me for being strict with my son. Their daughters were writing his name all over their books, and taking pictures of him with their phones, and they werent' allowed to date either... it wasn't stopping them from acting like they could.

It was very flattering, sorta, to hear this about my son, but kinda weird too.

I was never as pretty as this kid is handsome... ever.

He is completely oblivious to his power and his looks... THANK GOD AGAIN!

When these girls were throwing themselves at him, he told them he couldn't date yet... and they spread the news throughout the school.

We didn't care.

It's a private Christian High School, they won't think it's too weird. and they didn't.

But the time is fast approaching when he will be needing to have outings and experience with girls, appropriate experience...I mean it.

I felt compelled to have several mini-talks with William while we were in the car alone together on the way home from school, or when he is off at 1 p.m. on Fridays and we have 2 hours to kill before getting his brothers.

The talks have gone rather well, with him telling me absolutely everything about Sammie, and the other girls he knows like him. He only has eyes for Sammie, it seems. He wanted my advice as to how to tell the other two girls he isn't interested, without just blurting it out, and without

Sammie knowing he likes her, because he doesn't want her to know he likes her...

(like she doesn't know) please!

My heart was singing! He is a caring, loving boy... who isn't a player!

Yahoooooo!

Let's hope it's always that way...

But I decided that it's time to let my manchild know he can come to me for advice without laughing or minimizing his feelings he will feel.

I want him to know that I have gone through the same things, and that I was once a 14 year old girl, and we aren't all that different, even after 25 years. I would hope that he would appreciate having a female perspective on some matters... since I am the only female in our home. So today, I wrote out some things I want to be sure to talk to him about, and I thought I would write them down in numbered format for him to peruse at his leisure.

I know... you all think I am a nutjob for thinking my son would ever read something like that...

but as he gets more aclimated to the boy/girl dynamic... I see his is listening to me more intently when I ask if he would like my advice on a matter of the heart.

Part 1 over...

Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow...

This post was getting entirely too long.

Mamakat's Writers Workshop

Writers Workshop Prompts.

~~~~~~~~~~

1.) What was the first CD (or record or cassette) you ever purchased? Write about the way that particular album made you feel then. Write about how it makes you feel now. writersdigest.com

***

2.) You were recently laid off. Instead of moping around, you've viewed it as a chance to start fresh. Pick a new career and write about your first day on the job.writersdigest.com

*** 3.) List your five most recent favorite things.

*** 4.) I'm hungry. Share your very favorite recipe!!

***

1. My first Album...

one of those great big 331/3 ones, that I actually purchased myself

... a giant licorice pizza...

ANDY GIBB!

I....LOVED.....HIM.

LOOOVVVVEEEDDD HIMM!

"Shadow dancing....honey you do it right...uh huh!" {{that was a song lyric}}

How did I feel about it? Ohhh! {{swoon}}

It was a giant picture of his perfect head, and I imagine him singing all the songs to me.

Then... gulp... I can't believe I'm admitting this... I would kiss that great big picture and pretend we were getting married. I adored him so.

Imagine my dismay and utter anquish when I found out he MARRIED Victoria Principal...

THEN DIED!!!

HE DIED!!! BEFORE I COULD STEAL HIM AWAY FROM STUPID VICTORIA, AND MARRY HIM... HE DIED!

Then... imagine my stupified face when I was told he was the BEEGEES younger brother!

OH THE HORROR!!! I was also in love with Barry Gibb, and my being 11 at the time.. didn't put two and two together that they both HAD THE SAME LAST NAME!!!

How does it make me feel now?

Sad actually. I NEVER hear Andy Gibb songs on the...GULP... "Oldies" stations.

Lots of other artists died, and they still play their music... but not my Andy's.

Maybe that evil, horrid Victoria, bought all the rights and kept him from me all these years... even in his death.... alas... I will never know.

For now... I will just have to sing "Shadow Dancing" in my head.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

MY FIVE MOST RECENT FAVORITE THINGS

1. Nivea Kiss of Moisture lip balm.

***

2. Wall Words... I must own a million of them... I just haven't put them up yet!

***

3. My new fabulous slippers. I wear them non stop... I want to wear them EVERYWHERE! Toooo comfy!

***

4. My new fancy schmancy hair stuff my Mama always buys me.

All state of the art, hottest new EVERYTHING... yeah... I know...

that last post WAS NOT a good example... I was desperate!!!

My gray grows in 3 measly weeks!!!

***

5. Scrapblog... I am still addicted. I have actually started a small business

making the books!

@@@@@@@@@@@@

Wanna join in on the fun?

Go on over to Mamakat's button to the right!

When related to a Hair Dresser... USE HER!!! ALWAYS!

To quote the fabulous Dolly Parton from my favorite movie 'Steel Magnolias'

"I don't like Dolores VanMeter, I don't like anyone that does their own hair... it isn't natural"

The above picture is EXACTLY why Truvy didn't like or trust Dolores.

MY MAMA IS A HAIR DRESSER... AND WHEN SHE DOES MY HAIR... THIS

NEVER, EVER, EVER HAPPENS!

and... by the way...

10 YEARS AGO... if it did run down my face... it never settled in lines and crevasses and went HORIZONTAL...

"Hi I'm Saundra, I'm 40 and it's fantastic... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!!"

LIES... ALL LIES... I TELL YOU!

Enjoy my mortification...

Have a happy day!

FINALLY DEANNA AND JASON REUNITE... NEXT WEEK!

OMG!!! Like... Jillian, like, said , like, like, 487 times. like... like... like...

If ANYTHING makes ANYONE sound not ready for marriage or up for raising a child...

it's ANYONE that says LIKE, LIKE A MILLION, LIKE, TIMES.... LIKE!

COOOOMMMMEEE OOONNNNNNN!

Enough already with the Valley Girl speech.

Perhaps I should have prefaced this post with the warning that I am

PMS'ING THIS WEEK... AND EVERYTHING PISSES ME OFF!

But I digress...

Ahem.

Trainwreck TV did not disappoint again... but THIS time... the trainwreck was not one of the bachelorettes... oh no! THIS weeks trainwreck award goes to

Naomi's creepy parents! Especially Mama! Woo!

That family probably has the men with straight jackets on speed dial with her around!

Holy Frijole!

So sad... she lives about 30 minutes away from me. I'm moving.

Yikes!

Where... upon meeting your daughters boyfriend (who happens to be cheating on her with 3 other women, on national television) does ANYTHING say it is okay to

ask said boyfriend to say a eulogy over a dead, wrapped bird, that you said

committed suicide in honor of the occasion, into your car. WHERE... I ASK YOU!

I was so happy to see that Naomi was appropriately mortified.

And Daddy... yikes...

I love me some Jesus... I am a believer and all that jazz... but to shove it down someones

throat within minutes of meeting someone, and then telling that someone that they should really think about accepting Jesus as his Lord and Savior...

What ever happened to actions speaking louder than words?

People will come to know Him by our lives...not our mouths...

Cuckoo!

Molly's Mom was TAME compared to Naomi's Indigo Adult Mama.

Did you see Jason's face when Naomi's Dad was preaching? Yeah... he was waaaay spooked.

***

Melissa's parents? Rude much? Yes, but to each his own. They never even went to her Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader games... so whatever.

She is still completely adorable, a little to addicted to the short shorts... (maybe still in Cheerleader mode), but her friends were very nice.

***

Molly...nice family... but she HAS to go next...I just know it.

***

THEN... THEN... THE PREVIEWS WERE THE BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE SHOW!

Deanna shows up in NEW FREAKIN' ZEALAND next week.

I can finally feel whole! Blossom to be the woman I was always meant to be...

Okay...I'll stop...

ABC finally heeded my nasty letters (none) and brought her to the show... FINALLY!

It's about freakin' time!

I wouldn't have watched past the first show if they hadn't played that tasty little morsel of

preview with Miss Deanna on it.

Ohh... they are goooood.

She makes him CRY!!!

She says she makes a mistake!

But wait... what if she says that just to help Jason not make the same mistake!

What if she is there only to help him... and NOT TO THROW A WRENCH IN TO THE MIX!

Noooooo!

I will have watched in vain!!!!

I know this does not make me popular with the people that ADORE this show and

believe that only true, long lasting love is found on this show...

Sue in "Colorado" (Ohio) LOL!

But... what great TV it would make if he CHOSE DEANNA INSTEAD OF THE OTHER GIRLS!

It would seal their fates of being tabloid fodder for years to come!

Gasp!

What if ... gulp... a bachelor... ACTUALLY GOT MARRIED...!

Then it would make all the other horrible pair ups on the show worthwhile... wouldn't it?

I mean... I believe this show will continue UNTIL a Bachelor ties the proverbial knot, and they can finally say the show worked.

Trina, Trisha? whoever,and the fireman don't apparently count.

Sooo...another long week... of waiting... bit bated breath until the return of

beloved Deanna... heartbreaker extraordinare...

{{sigh}}

Until next week...

Adieu... Adieu... parting is such sweet sorrow...

The Bachelor... Will Deanna finally show her face?

STAY TUNED FOR TONIGHTS EPISODE!!!

DUN... DUN... DUNNNNN!

The crazy dove lady, FROM THE FUTURE!!!

Melissa no show parents... OH NO!

Will Deanna FINALLY SHOW UP???

Did you see the list of questions from one of the Mama's? Yikes!

I'll be fast forwarding all the commercials to blog about it as soon as possible...

STAY TUNED!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE POST HEADER I MADE FOR IT?

***

***ETA..

It's hailing right now... outside...little round pellets of hard ice...

How do you guys do it with snow!!! I'm having a cow knowing I have to drive in this rain and hail, and don't want them to dent my precious car!!!

Yikes!

It's been raining for 4 days... I love it... we need it... but HOLY COW... ENOUGH ALREADY!

Open Letter to Citibank

Dear Citibank,

I have been a member of our bank for 10 years now, and I have a couple of questions for you.

Before I get to those questions... I would like to reiterate some things I have noticed on my account.

I bank online, and it says on my statement, that I will be charged if I show up in person to deposit, withdraw, or even have a question for any living, breathing human being.

Really? Are you going to go there? Is that the money you spent when you bought your

5O MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATE JET last week?

You asked the Feds... hell, you asked ME for a portion of the bailout money Bush gave out in December, (I will be helping foot the bill whether I like it or not), and you spent 50 MILLION DOLLARS on a plane. Seriously? Did you go to Idiot University? What part of EVERYONE WILL FIND OUT AND CALL YOU OUT ON IT... didn't you understand?

You are just as bad as those Auto Guys showing up to beg for money in Gulfstreams... yeah.. rocket scientists...all of you.

So...I have a couple of questions for you...

Since I am part owner of your new Luxury Aircraft... I have three kids, and they all have birthdays coming up... and since I now own a new plane... I thought it would be great if you brought it here to California for us in May, June and July. Yep... you read that correctly... I'm gonna make a TIMESHARE outta the deal. You keep my money in your bank... use it to loan to dead beats like you have for the past 8 years, and I get to use the plane at my three boys birthdays. Sound like a plan? Don't worry. We'll be just as responsible with IT as you have been with our money. We'll fly down to Rio during Carnivale, or maybe to NYC with their closest friends to take in a great dinner and show and maybe a Yankee's game in the new stadium.

We'll make sure and have chocolate cake and ice cream on your new leather seats, and I might even make them clean it up... but I'm sure there is onboard staff for that sort of thing.

My second request is for my Anniversary. It's in October, and we usually go to our Timeshare in Vegas... but this year... I hankerin for a week in Hawaii. It's been so long since we've been there, and since you are gonna have your hands full with audits, and transparency under the fabulous Obama, you won't have time to use it...

So... Citibank... you've taken my money for asking questions, you've taken my money instanteously and erroneously and not given it back for weeks, at times... and now I am asking for a little payback.

The Gulfstream will do nicely. Thank you for that.

Oh... I'll be sharing this with other Citibank members, and I'm sure they have needs for the plane too.

Tootles!

Your co pilot and co owner of 50 million dollar plane...

Saundra

Momdot.com Small Talk Six!

Small Talk Six...

I will list 6 songs I love to groove to when no ones looking...

1. Evil Woman (ELO)

2. Copacabana (Manilow, yes I'm a Fanilow)

3.Hey Mama (Black Eyed Peas)

4. Gonna Make you Sweat (C & C Music Factory)

5. Two Tickets to Paradise (Eddie Money)Yeah... baby!

6. Crazy on You (Heart)

I couldn't carry a tune if you gave me a wheelbarrow, but I do love belting these out all my myself... ;)

What do YOU listen to when no one is around?