Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Letter to the Music Man

Letter to the jerks of the world who play their "music" in their cars so the rest of the world can hear it...
"Hey Jerkoff! Turn your STUPID MUSIC DOWN!"
Now... I know I am getting old.
I CAN'T STAND to hear someone else's music coming from their car... anytime, anywhere.
I know, you know what I am talking about.
You are sitting at a stop light, minding your own business, listening to YOUR stereo at a level conducive to being able to hear past 41 years old, and up drives this punk.
You know who he/sometimes but rarely she, is.
The long, primered or black Monte Carlo, circa 1975, or the 1995 Nissan Sentra, that cost exactly $900 off the lot at Big Jim's House of Crap, ooops... I mean Cars.!
Up the side it sidles, all you can hear is BOOM.... BOOOM...BOOOOM!
Your car is shaking, the windows are rattling, your eardrums are throbbing, and you can feel your fillings in your teeth loosening...
So what do you do? You open your window... TO SEE WHERE IT IS COMING FROM!
You know and I know you do... because *you* in this letter, is ME!
Then you look at the well raised, music prodigy and stare him down.
He happily bobs his *empty* head up and down to the *music*, completely oblivious that...
1. he is disturbing the peace.. MY PEACE! and
2. IF an ambulance were to come by, he wouldn't know about it until it HIT HIM!
So this morning, on our 10 mile, freeway drive to schools, we get off the freeway and are stopped at a stoplight, when BOOM, BOOOM BOOOOM starts shaking the car!
My 14, 12 and 9 year olds are upset... because it was completely drowning out a song we were all singing very loudly and horribly to and having a great time being silly and making fun of Britney Spears's fake *voice* when she *sings* Womanizer.
Johnny, 9, asks if it's an earthquake.
William, sweet soul, says "Holy cow... Mom, I don't even listen to MY music that loud, and I'm 14!" I kiss his hand and thank him for not listening to it like that.
I look around, and this jerkoff is playing this *music* at 7:15 a.m., in a RESIDENTIAL AREA,
and has absolutely no respect for others. None. Zilch. Zero. Nada.
So buddy, here's what I have to say to you...
And I am seriously considering writing this out on paper and physically handing the following out to the music predators when I encounter them...
1. It is painfully obvious that your car cost you $900 cash only, but your stereo system set you back $10 GRAND! Really? How does that compute in your world?
Hint... girls don't only like to hear good music in cars... they actually like to SIT IN nice cars.
In the future,you'll be surprised find out that you can't get away with a Platinum band and a CZ crystal as the *diamond*... get a freakin' clue.
2. Your Mama DID NOT DO A GOOD JOB raising you.
How dare you impose on other people's lives like that!
3. I REFUSE to pay for your cochlear implants when you pull your head out of your A**, and realize that you are damaging one of your only 5 SENSES! We only have 5 dude!!!
You are messing with 20% of your life!
4. Trunks are for luggage, sports equipment, and drunk friends you don't want vomiting on your pleather like seats... NOT SPEAKERS AND WOOFERS AND TWEETERS!
6. I'm older, and I can afford a hell of a lot more than you... I can follow you home, and play nothing but Opera or Andrea Bocelli in front of your house with my
$10,000 speakers and see how you like it at 7 a.m.!
Oh wait... that wouldn't be right,huh? YOU STILL LIVE WITH YOUR MOMMY!
Mommy cooks for you and your loser friends with stereos on their scooters!
Don't upset Mommy!
Catch my drift? We cool man? Know what I'm sayin' dawg....
Turn it down... or I'll tell yo Mama!
Bet she stops payin' for your GAS...


  1. LOVE IT! Could you print on up for me... even in this hick town we have posers who spend a mere $300 on their cars so they can load up the trunk and sound cool!?!?! Our home is five miles out of "town" which is the shopping centers and a mile up a private dirt road and we still hear the BOOM BOOOM from teens cars who live on the road. Who are they trying to impress???

  2. oh my gosh. i totally know what you mean.

  3. I frickin' love it! Perfectly sad.

  4. I think you need to pay the man a VISIT....

  5. OMG Saundra... this is a letter I have written in my head so many times. I absolutly cannot stand when punks do this, it infuriates me. It is so disrespectful of the people around them and the neighborhoods they drive through. UGH... I hear ya on this.

  6. Ya know what else? Whenever you see little sh*tty *ss cars blaring thier music they tend to have put more money souping up their car than they are worth in total.

    Yep. We're old.

  7. ok now that i have finished drying the sweet tea off of my computer screen after spitting it while laughing at this...I wanted to say a big loud AMEN!!!!!!!!

    ~now where is my screen cleaner cause well sweet tea has sugar.

  8. #1 had me laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. :)

  9. If you are doing a drive by, I am coming with you! This is going to be FANTASTIC! I will even pitch in for the speakers and the music!

  10. That is so funny Saundra and its true the world over, the absolute world over!!

  11. LOL, We encountered him recently on our way to the library, and my darling little 6 year old
    opened her window and yelled "Hey Dude!"
    I don't think he heard her, but he saw her stick her head out and turned down the music
    to hear what she was saying to him (she was waving her arms as well)"Hi!" he says..she goes"Dude, you need to turn down the tunes..
    I can't hear my Bon Jovi.." and closes her window. We drove off, me smiling smugly because my daughter did whay I wanted to,
    and him just a bit quieter and looking slightly sheepish. I'm guessing he didn't realize HOW loud he was. I doubt if he did he would have turned it down at

  12. I totally feel you on this. My hubby and I call them "Billy" as in Billy Bad-Ass.

    I'm laughing my butt off right now! And nodding in agreement!


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