Letter to the jerks of the world who play their "music" in their cars so the rest of the world can hear it...
"Hey Jerkoff! Turn your STUPID MUSIC DOWN!"
Now... I know I am getting old.
I CAN'T STAND to hear someone else's music coming from their car... anytime, anywhere.
I know, you know what I am talking about.
You are sitting at a stop light, minding your own business, listening to YOUR stereo at a level conducive to being able to hear past 41 years old, and up drives this punk.
You know who he/sometimes but rarely she, is.
The long, primered or black Monte Carlo, circa 1975, or the 1995 Nissan Sentra, that cost exactly $900 off the lot at Big Jim's House of Crap, ooops... I mean Cars.!
Up the side it sidles, all you can hear is BOOM.... BOOOM...BOOOOM!
Your car is shaking, the windows are rattling, your eardrums are throbbing, and you can feel your fillings in your teeth loosening...
So what do you do? You open your window... TO SEE WHERE IT IS COMING FROM!
You know and I know you do... because *you* in this letter, is ME!
Then you look at the well raised, music prodigy and stare him down.
He happily bobs his *empty* head up and down to the *music*, completely oblivious that...
1. he is disturbing the peace.. MY PEACE! and
2. IF an ambulance were to come by, he wouldn't know about it until it HIT HIM!
So this morning, on our 10 mile, freeway drive to schools, we get off the freeway and are stopped at a stoplight, when BOOM, BOOOM BOOOOM starts shaking the car!
My 14, 12 and 9 year olds are upset... because it was completely drowning out a song we were all singing very loudly and horribly to and having a great time being silly and making fun of Britney Spears's fake *voice* when she *sings* Womanizer.
Johnny, 9, asks if it's an earthquake.
William, sweet soul, says "Holy cow... Mom, I don't even listen to MY music that loud, and I'm 14!" I kiss his hand and thank him for not listening to it like that.
I look around, and this jerkoff is playing this *music* at 7:15 a.m., in a RESIDENTIAL AREA,
and has absolutely no respect for others. None. Zilch. Zero. Nada.
So buddy, here's what I have to say to you...
And I am seriously considering writing this out on paper and physically handing the following out to the music predators when I encounter them...
1. It is painfully obvious that your car cost you $900 cash only, but your stereo system set you back $10 GRAND! Really? How does that compute in your world?
Hint... girls don't only like to hear good music in cars... they actually like to SIT IN nice cars.
In the future,you'll be surprised find out that you can't get away with a Platinum band and a CZ crystal as the *diamond*... get a freakin' clue.
2. Your Mama DID NOT DO A GOOD JOB raising you.
How dare you impose on other people's lives like that!
3. I REFUSE to pay for your cochlear implants when you pull your head out of your A**, and realize that you are damaging one of your only 5 SENSES! We only have 5 dude!!!
You are messing with 20% of your life!
4. Trunks are for luggage, sports equipment, and drunk friends you don't want vomiting on your pleather like seats... NOT SPEAKERS AND WOOFERS AND TWEETERS!
5. Note to yourself... IF YOUR CARS PART ARE RATTLING OFF AND LEAVING PARTS BEHIND YOU ... YOUR MUSIC IS TOO LOUD...IDIOT!
6. I'm older, and I can afford a hell of a lot more than you... I can follow you home, and play nothing but Opera or Andrea Bocelli in front of your house with my
$10,000 speakers and see how you like it at 7 a.m.!
Oh wait... that wouldn't be right,huh? YOU STILL LIVE WITH YOUR MOMMY!
YOU SPENT YOUR RENT MONEY ON YOUR SPEAKERS!
Mommy cooks for you and your loser friends with stereos on their scooters!
Don't upset Mommy!
Catch my drift? We cool man? Know what I'm sayin' dawg....
YOU ARE A LOSER!
Turn it down... or I'll tell yo Mama!
Bet she stops payin' for your GAS...