Thursday, February 12, 2009

My son is in Like... part 2

So... here is my advice... unsolicited as of right now... but hopefully he will heed it when necessary.
Dear William... my wonderful son...
I understand you like a girl, and may have questions. I have answers.
Be careful of her feelings. You are / may be her very first boyfriend. Be one that will help her set the standard for what she wants in a future husband. I know it sounds like a lot of responsibility, but matters of the heart are never easy, or to be taken lightly... which is precisely why it is better to be older than 14 or even 18 when going down this particular path.
Being older will help you better handle the rush of feelings you WILL have... being older will help you deal with issues still very, very foreign to you. In my personal opinion... be friends with lots and lots of different girls and have a great time platonically, so there are no worries during your precious, carefree high school years. Practice being a great guy, before being a great boyfriend.
1. Never put a girl down. They are fragile when they are teens. What you say can have a profound effect on her. You don't want to be the one that helps her have a horrible self esteem.. do you?
2. Build girls up, but only if you truly mean it. Empty compliments make for empty feelings. Tell them they are pretty if you think they are... but not too much.
Being oversensitive isn't an attractive trait to most women. If you don't have anything nice to say... be quiet.
3. Boys and girls will argue. It doesn't mean the relationship is over. Be careful not to get venomous. No need to get personal on looks. Don't go there. Focus on the problem... not the person. This will carry through a lifetime of sorrow if you follow it.
Because you are teens, your emotions are on overdrive, learn to keep them under control and reign them in. Allow yourselves to be young for a loooong time, and don't act on hormonal impulses. Don't you eventually want to make the choice of your future wife, and not have circumstance make that choice for you?
4. "I love you" are three incredibly powerful words. Don't waste them in your youth.
When you have a girlfriend, she will appreciate if you open up to her.
Make a pact with your future girlfriends that those three words are forbidden when you are both this young. Pick three other words to express how much you like each other such as...
"Bob's your Uncle"
"Hearts are Red"
"Sky is Blue"
Trust me... it'll feel like your own little secret, just between the two of you... and it'll help take the pressure off of being too "adult" too soon. And by too soon, I mean anytime before marriage, buddy.
5. When a girl says "No" THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANS! No matter what you think her eyes, hands, body, mouth is telling you... NO... MEANS ...NO! Put your hands up and back away from the girl. NEVER EVER, EVER SAY THESE WORDS...
"If you loved me you would..."
even if you don't... Build her up, and take a shower. A cold one.
Do NOT make me a Nonna before you are married. Save yourself...
6. Please realize... I understand how powerful these feelings are and can be. I was a young girl too. I will never, ever, ever discount how much you feel. I will never call it Puppy Love.
I just need you to understand that NO GIRL, ever in the world, will be worth your life.
When and if you ever break up... IT WILL HURT... SOOOO MUCH! You will be sad. You will feel like someone kicked you in the gut.
You can come to me... I know what it feels like. I remember.
I am the ONLY girl IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, INCAPABLE of falling OUT of love with you.
Don't get serious until you know without a shadow of a doubt.
You will know.. when you know.
I promise you...
Please wait to know until after college and you buy a house, or we give you a house.
Please... use these teen years to have a great, platonic time.
I want the world to know that my sons were raised to be respectful of women.
Were raised to be supportive of women.
Were raised to be manly men who care for women.
Follow your Daddy's lead.
He is a great role model for you.
But remember...I am just a girl at heart. I know what those girls who like you are going through.
Unrequited "love" is tough...
I remember swooning over a boy who didn't even know I existed.
Be kind. Smile. Build up...
and stay a teen for as long as possible.
I love you...
I am here...
I will never break up with you.


  1. WOW! That was amazing. Do you think you could bring up all the males in the world. Go get that published NOW. It is that good. Your sons are so luck to have the Mama they do. Oh its tough being a teenager and even thougher being a teenagers mother. Good luck to you both!

  2. I love you even more after this post. Thank you for sharing it with us. I wrote one of these to Bronson when I found out about his girlfriend. Young love is powerful! Call me if you ever freak out, I know I did with my first!

  3. Profound and actually should be read by every teen, i absolutely loved I am the ONLY girl IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, INCAPABLE of falling OUT of love with you.

  4. That was a great post. I think I'll have my daughter read it. I have raised three and believe me, the young love part of it is very tricky. Each kid is so different. You are lucky to have boys, though. They take what their mommas say more to heart than girls.

  5. That is lovely...I hope he takes it to heart.

  6. How beautiful. What a wonderful gift! I actually cried! Can I steal this for my boy???lol


  7. nicely put! you are funny too!
    and oh! i am now one of your stalkers too : )
    can you stalk me as well?
    i just started blogging and feel like no one ever stops
    by! hahaha!
    enjoy your valentines! wow - with all those cute men in your life,
    i have a feeling you will be spoiled : )
    kisses and cupcakes,

  8. Damn, I wish i was young enough to have a mother in law like you....marriage to someone you've brought up would be amazing. Love you Saundra...

  9. This is an amazing post. It brought a tear to my eye. It's not always easy being a mom. With a twelve year old son all this liking girls stuff is in the near future. Ok, I'm being naive. I think it's already here. I think I'm going to have to keep coming back to this post, unless of course you've written a book....

    BTW, you looked fabulous last night in the Christian Dior's!

  10. Those are very beautiful and powerful words. I think moms of boys should print this out and keep it. I plan on it. Thank you Saundra!


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