I get it...
It's a Drive In.
Outside...
No real "Attire" required, as long as you are dressed...
I totally get it.
We are watching movies... OUTSIDE... so it should be just an unwritten rule, oh, I don't know... taught when we were... saaaay.... 5 or so... that when we are outside... with other people around, out of their cars, enjoying dinner before the movies, kids riding their scooters up and down the mini hills, laughing, talking with friends... enjoying the night air...
MAYBE....
Just MAYBE....
Other people DON'T want to hear... your stereo... set at volume... "Ear Bleed",
playing a song that repeatedly says this phrase about 150 times...
Ahem...
"F you, I'm DRUNK... F you... I'm drunk!!! I don't care what you say... F You I'm drunk!"
And might I just add here... that the "song" said the entire "F" word each and every time.
Oh. My. God. how I wish I had my camera that night...
*
The truck was nice... new... maybe a couple years old... big Chevy, extra cab...shiny...
What came out of that thing was scary...
Two adorable toddlers... both boys, blond and cherubic... that's where the cuteness stopped.
"Daddy" jumped out... no shirt on, shorts about 5 sized too big and almost down to his ankles, and pair of boxers that have seen MUCH better days.
"Daddy's" tattoo was lovely... Across his entire back were pictures of his two adorable boys, and the words...
"F you, they're mine" spelled on his back.
They will be so proud when the first swim party of their teen years rolls around...
dont' you think?
Then "Mommy" jumps down... pregnant again, very pregnant... we could see EVERYTHING!
She had a tank top on... pink, and a pair of pink yoga shorts... the tank only covered her breasts...
Beautiful...
She... was barefoot.
So cliche... anyway...
"Mommy" hops onto the back of the truck to situate everything while "Daddy of the year" pops a beer can, empties a coke can, pours the beer into the coke can... and smiles...
Yes, folks... a toothless grin.
I was chewing on a piece of watermelon when that happened, and I laughed so hard, it came out my nose...
"Daddy of the year", sets the beer/coke down on the ground, to give his bride orders, and one of the toddlers proceeds to head for his beer/coke.
I yell across the aisle to inform Daddy Underpants, and he says... "Awww, he's fine.. he won't drink it all, he doesn't like beer."
The lovely family next to us... watching the Family Von Idiots right along with us, was just choking on their tongues...
We were all flabbergasted.
Another family complained that their song was tasteless, and extremely inappropriate for public listening... and well... as you can imagine...Mr. Bill of Rights Papa, informed the other families, that this was indeed a free country, and senatorship was illegal... (yep, he said senatorship instead of censorship).
Mommy Middrift agreed with the family, and turned the stereo off.
Hmmm... she WAS wearing her pants better...
But... alas... when Mommy went to the Snack bar...yes... barefoot... Daddy turned it on again and hit replay. Finally, a man from 2 aisles back walked up to him and made him turn it off.
It was THAT loud. and THAT vulgar.
*
After the first movie, they left, leaving about 20 empty beer cans in their wake. THEY WERE DRIVING home drunk... and yes... Preggo mommy was having a beer too...
*
Bill, my hubby, would have said something, I'm sure, had he been within earshot of the noise.
He was far away, near the screen, playing catch with our sons... he caught some of the lyrics when the wind was right... but didn't know where it was coming from...
When the movie was starting, he asked me what was going on...
and was sorry he missed all the drama...
I get sooo lucky.
I get to see all the trainwrecks...
I sure hope they all made it home in one piece.
I also hope that I didn' witness two future N'er do wells.. in the making.
Maybe those two precious boys will see the light and not repeat the same mistakes...
Here' hoping!
Oh... I just love the drive in!
LOL! You must live near me. I needed a laugh this morning!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh honey, you have completely described the everyday occurances in my neighborhood to a "T"!!! Sad and pathetic, huh??
ReplyDeleteTrailer-trash neighbor should be gone within two weeks.....not sure my temper will last that long.....
I just want to know, were all his tatoos spelled correctly? ;-)
ReplyDeleteThat is just the saddest thing! Some people just are unbelievable...pregnant mom drinking?
ReplyDeleteDrunk dad driving? Kids seeing it all? F words flying? What are these people thinking?
It's seriously scary to think people like this are reproducing. I laughed so hard when I read the part about him saying that line about senatorship. I'm starting to think you are some kind of magnet for these people...lucky you! :)
ReplyDeleteNo... future snack bar workers. Those poor boys. I feel so sorry for people like that. They just don't know any better but its their own faults really. They REFUSE to know any better.
ReplyDeleteugh...maybe we should have to take a test to have children.
ReplyDeletethe singers of today can't remember the words so they just say the same word over and over...and of course its just a 4 letter word.
ReplyDeleteYay, I hope you go to the drive in lots this summer...it makes for great fodder and we're being deprived of the 'snack bar stories' so it only seems fair!
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I think I'll stick with Pay Per View. My temper is too short and my mouth is too big when it comes to ignorance. Some people are just amazingly stupid.
ReplyDeleteOMG! You sure you don't live here in NE TN? Sounds like the jerks that live around here! It's funny, but it's not, ya know?
ReplyDeleteI really need to get myself to a drive-in movie. It's been WAY too long! Sounds like the audience is more entertaining than the movie!
ReplyDelete