Writer Workshop prompts I chose for today are...
Share a piece of unsolicited parenting advice... (you KNOW I have opinions on THAT!)
AND
Tell about my blogline... when I started, what were and are the goals for my blog...
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Parenting advice...
Here goes...
SAY "NO" once in a while.
I promise it won't hurt you!
I err on the other side and say "no" an awful lot to my kids.
I just can't STAND spoiled brats that feel entitled!
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I visibly WINCE when I see a parent say something like... "All right... all right... just a second... you can pick out whatever you want... just please stop screaming..."
Really?
I am screaming in my head... "ARE YOU REALLY AND TRULY GOING TO REWARD THAT BEHAVIOUR WITH WHATEVER THE LITTLE DARLING WANTS????"
Does she not KNOW what kind of a monster she will be creating???
I really, really, really LOVE it when I hear parents say things like...
"Yeah, we bought Pete a new car...he's been so good lately... hasn't given us a minutes problems..."
When I KNOW Pete dropped out of school, hasn't showered in days, watches TV all day long,
does nothing to help out around the house, and speaks to his parents like they are his friends and he hates them.
I hate when parents reward their kids for doing NOTHING, helping with NOTHING, producing NOTHING, and not putting forth the effort to even finish school!
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I could write for YEARS on this subject! Literally YEARS!!!! A book on this subject would never, ever end....it would have more pages than the Bible. I swear!
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How about the kids that get $50,000 cars on their 16th birthdays... let me at 'em!
How on earth... are those kids supposed to keep up that lifestyle right out of high school or college? Talk about setting a kid up for failure!
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Live in a fabulous house... drive a luxurious car... parents... of course... YOU earned it!
But giving your little darlings the spoils of your income... to the extreme... leads them to become complacent and sometimes lowers their self worth.
How can a kid out of college get all that stuff he wants right off the bat? He's gonna want to live the way he is accustomed to being brought up... never have been told "no" before...
Wait until his first interview goes south, and he is told "no" for a job... watch the tantrum as it unfolds... watch the excuses he comes up with... it will never be "his' fault... always someone elses fault...watch as he's turned down for a loan, so he can continue the life you set him up with... watch how it makes him mad... but unable to do anything about it, because he got everything handed to him on a silver platter.
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Curious about why I feel so strongly about this subject??? I was raised with a "yes".
My only salvation? The fact that my parents became LESS Americanized as I got older.
They began to see the errors of giving all they didn't have as kids.. to us.
They saved us from ourselves... just in time.
My parents were poor, poor, poor in Italy. No shoes, begging for food for their families, going hungry for days on end... poor...
They came to America, and worked really, really hard, and made good.
They wanted to raise us like all the other immigrants said..."Our kids are gonna have it better than us" and we did... sooooo much better... but it began to backfire and they nipped it in the bud.
More on that another time.
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I just know from where I preach.
Getting all you want as a kid, doesn't prepare you for life... it makes you complacent and entitled.
It is a very hard lesson to learn the longer one waits to learn it.
Teach kids to earn what they want, and not just get it by asking for it.
Tell them to pay half... (secretly put the half they pay into an account for them, and spring it on them on their wedding day... That's what my parents did...) It is a beautiful thing.
Okay... I won't harp in it anymore... and I love to buy my kids new things like the next person... I just don't do it to excess... and only give them what is appropriate for their age...
There are no Jones' I am trying to keep up with...living life that way is such a waste of time.
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NEXT!!!
I started my blog on Jan. 4, 2008. My neighbor Letti turned me on to it.
I started it because if I took out all the journals I have written in for the past 30 years, it would fill up an entire room... this is sooo much more space effiicient!
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My goals for my blog? Truthfully?
At first it was to keep track of day to day things that go on in our home... then... as it evolved...
it became more of a forum for me to write creatively, through my experiences... no necessarily in my family life only, but in my life altogether.
I'm not everyone's cup of tea.
I speak my mind, tell it like I see it, and try to interject a little humor now and again.
Sometimes I take poetic license, sometime I embellish, most of the time, I censor.... it's all about storytelling.
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My wish and prayer for my blog is for someone, anyone at a publishing company see something in my blog and ask me to write a book. THAT would be a dream come true.
Until then, I am writing my own novel... loosely based on a family members antics after divorce.
It is really cathartic writing it.
No, I've never been divorced... so it's not me...
I totally agree with you on the saying No thing. As well as the 50k cars! I was told to get a job as soon as I was old enough so at 14 I became a waitress. I bought my first car, and paid to keep it running. I had just moved to to hotels and there was a sweet 16 in the ballroom. First off her dress was nothing more than mesh and strategically placed fabric. Her dad bought her a brand new convertible and she screamed at him because it was the wrong color. MY dad had come to pick me up and witnessed this he laughed so hard and said that was why He would never buy me a car.
ReplyDeleteYour novel sounds very interesting!! Would love to read it when you finish!!
ReplyDeleteHallie :)
Saundra, Saundra, Saundra...you are a woman...and mother after my own heart!!!:-) I totally agree with you and my "advice" was pretty much along the same lines. Now if only one of my girls meet a boy with a Mama like you!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. And I am struggling with finding a balance between being "Mean Mom" and "Fun Mom". I have to remember that I am their mother...not their friend........
ReplyDeleteNow how do I work on getting them to listen to me???
You are MY cup of tea...and I will pay the shipping and the cost of the book if mine is signed! ;)
ReplyDeleteTotally agree about the parenting thing-
As my boys are little, I am trying so hard not to raise brats-when they are older-my hubby and I are already discussing how we will handle cars (considering matching funds, at this point-) and college (living at home the first year, with good grades, come more choices than community college...and they can help pay the cost-)We will learn from those ahead of us, I suppose...You are a good role model for us!!! :)
Agree completely on the parenting thing. I try to practice it...sometimes I fail. But I hope I do it right more often than wrong.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your dream! I love reading your words, it will happen someday, just stick with it.
AMEN to the parenting advice! I actually have friends who get offended when I say something like you are really going to allow your child to act that way and then give in?? WOW and they get annoyed. Oh well....at least there are a lot of us in the world who don't think NO is a bad word!
ReplyDeleteAmen, Sister! I did a survey with my 4yo once and the first question was "what is something your mommy always says?" She responded with "no."
ReplyDeleteI hate kids like that. I am only 24 myself, but I've worked for everything I've got. I've been paying my own bills and basically supporting myself since I was 16. My parents raised me and my older brother to be self sufficent and I think that is why I am so independent. My older brother and I were raised the exact same (we're only 2 years apart), yet he expects everything to be handed to him. That is my soap box lately. It kills me to hear him talk to my parents and constantly expect them to take care of his problems.
ReplyDeleteMy younger brother however, being the baby and all, is being raised completely different. There is an 8 year gap between me and him, he is 16 and my parents don't want him to work while he's in school. I don't get it, I had a job 2 weeks before I even turned 16 and though they bought my first car, I provided my own gas and insurance...he does neither! This is jealousy coming out or anyting, I just don't think he's going to know how to take of himself this way.
That was supposed to say "This ISN"T Jealousy" but I had a typo...sorry.
ReplyDeletePreach on, sista! Seriously. I am totally behind you on the saying 'no' thing. I had to work for nearly everything I had, and at 20 years old, I see so many people at school who are STILL getting handed things while I'm practically functioning on my own. It's ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% on your parenting advice. I think always saying yes is also sometimes parents just being lazy. But that's just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI love this advice...you are definatley a cup of tea I can live with. First one at your book signing....
ReplyDeleteLove it!! Refreshing. And I totally agree with the spoiling of the children. No, no, no!! In fact, I go out of my way to teach my kids to do with out. They learned to navigate the bus system in Austin, Texas before high school. They an now google and find directions to anywhere they want to go. And they know how to research what they want. If they want to run away and join the circus, cool.....good luck......but dinner is at six and if you miss it, you miss it!
ReplyDeleteNow go get yourself a book deal, becasue from what I read in this one post, you got stuff to say.
Cheers!
Great post and my piece of parenting advice would be "Take good care of yourself, you are the most important thing in your child's life".
ReplyDeleteI love your parenting advice. Like I tell our sons, "No is my final answer, not my opening bid."
Yep, good advice.
ReplyDeleteMy other favorite is when parents say "If you do that ONE more time, I'll..."
you'll what? Say it again?
♥♥♥LOVE YOUR ADVICE♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteI was taking a blog break but now I am catching up!!!!