It's only 10:30 a.m. and we already have drama here at Casa De Patsa (crazy).
I have kicked the kids out of the house, (they keep complaining it's too hot to play outside)
I don't care... get out!
They have a pool (no, I never let them swim without supervision), sprinklers, water balloons, 2 dogs, foos ball, nerf n strike, beach sand galore, balls, bats, bikes, scooters etc...
and they have 'NOTHING TO DO'!
And Johnny came screaming into the house all bloody on his lips. I was sure he lost teeth the way he was carrying on...! It turns out Jack, our one eyed dog nipped at him.
Johnny SWORE he didn't do anything to provoke Jack. He kept on repeating
"I didn't do ANYTHING TO HIM, about 10 times until I mentioned that we might have to put Jack down if he bit without being provoked. I won't keep a dog that does that... no matter how much I love it. I love my kids more than any stupid dog.
Well... THAT changed Johnny's tune immediately. He then sheepishly said he did have Jack in a sort of lock so he could carry him like a baby, and Jack got panicky and lashed out.
After clearing the blood, he has two very faint lines on his upper lip where Jacks teeth scratched him. Both Jack and Johnny have their shots.. ha ha, so I'm not worried about that... but I don't want Jack doing that out of the blue. Jack is usually very tolerant... so if he does it again... I'll have to make a hard decision.
Alex came in after Johnny was cleaned up and said that Johnny totally provoked Jack.
When does school start again??? Oh Yeah...September... dang it!
I need to go dig out that Christmas classic song
"It's the MOST wonderful time... of the year!" for the 1st day of school again.
Last day of school for William tomorrow.
He texts me everyday at 12:01 "I LUV U MOM".
Yesterday he mentioned he misses being home. He is only really home on the weekends
because he is at school 13 hours a day.
We miss him too.
The family dynamic is different without all my roosters in the house.
At this very moment... I am ridding my head of a huge white line of white hair. (I could call it grey, but that would be lying... IT'S WHITE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW!"
I got sick of seeing it glow in the dark... it was keeping me awake at night.
So yesterday... I decided to get some revenge and get pampered. My nails were filled, my feet were soaking and I mentioned that I wanted to get my eyebrows waxed too.
You know...the works.
This sweet Vietnamese woman says "Okay", walks over to me, looks at my brows and makes a funny face, like... "Oh, that a big job... I need get lots of wax... we not have enough!"
It's been a while...okay? That's all I'll say.
Then the clincher.
The reason so many comedians make fun of nail places in stand up.
The reason Margaret Cho is one of my favorite comedians.
in front of... oh... 5 ladies and my nail guy... she says...
"You wan you uppa lip done too?"
Now... ladies... you know as well as I do, that airing our grooming habits is kind taboo in
America, even though some young people LOVE talking about how they love a
Brazilian Wax and all (THAT is another post all together... yikes!)
For the first time in a really, really long time...
I. Was. Speechless.
Every eye glanced over to... of course... stare or try to see the Mustachioed lady
from Shaver's Circus Maximus!
I just nodded slightly and put my book in front of my face.
It takes SOOOO much to embarrass me. Truly... I'm an open book!
But I remember a long time ago, some twerp told an old stereotypical Italian joke
that went like this...
Why do Italian men wear mustaches?
Because they want to look like their Mama's.
HEY! STOP LAUGHING!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BY MY FRIENDS!
Anyway... while you are giggling like little girls, I'll continue...
I remember that joke, and thought... OMG... I AM the joke!
William has a mustache... and now so do I!
40 used to be fabulous...
Not so much.
So needless to say... I got TWO things waxed yesterday.
I said stop laughing! ;)
So yeah... living well is the best revenge... so is living without a mustache!