Yesterday... I had to take William in to our new Doctor, because our old Doctor
retired (he wasn't old... just rich enough, and quit to enjoy his life).
Before our Doctor retired... I could just call up... tell him the need, and he would
do it. No appt. necessary. It was awesome.
Now?
Not so much.
I have to train this new Doctor to the ways of Saundra all over again.
It took me years to get things set just right.
Now I have to start from scratch.
Crap.
I just needed to get a new nebulizer for William {and the rest of us... who am I kidding}.
So yesterday, we walk in to the office, me and my three men, and
in walks this child.
He happens to have a stethascope around his neck.
I thought to myself...
'Oh no... this poor child walked into the wrong room, Oh! and he has the Doctor's stethescope too! Shoo, little boy... shoo!'
The the child stuck his hand out to me and said... "Hello, I'm Dr. Crackenbush {not his real name... I like to protect the innocent until proven guilty}.
I just stared at him.
He had a zit.
Zits are for young people.
People younger than me.
I'm not that old.
I'm 40.
No! 4O IS NOT OLD! Shut up!
He didn't have one freaking line on his face.
He had not one gray hair on his head.
I suddenly got Tourrettes, and blurted out "Barbara Streisand" really loud!
Then I yelled "Alan Alda"!
Then I waited.
I swore to myself that if he asked who either of them were... I would slap him and run out of the office yelling "FIRE'.
Lucky for him, he didn't ask who they were.
He said something worse.
He said...
He said...
{{sigh}}
He said...
"MY MOM LOVES BARBARA STREISAND"
A tiny bit of drool dangled from my gaping mouth.
I shook the child's hand...
It was soft like a babies butt.
He didn't look much older than William.
I finally said...
"Your MOM? Really. She must be very proud... to have a son become a Doctor at the tender age of 12."
He laughed.
I cried inside...
Dying a little with each passing second.
One consolation, he is very, very cute.
Young... but cute.
I told him he needs to be easily teachable, or I would have to find another Doctor.
He laughed again.
I have him... hook... line and sinker...
I walked out with the nebulizer, 2 prescriptions for inhalers, and some sugar free lollipops,
4 stickers, and a tiny teddy bear.
Oh yeah... the kids got stuff too.
Next visit... I'm gonna get me an ear thermometer and an ear scope...
you wait and see.
"My Mom loves Barbara..."
&#$%$
OK I LOVE coming here because I love your blog design. Purple and green are great colours together. It is seriously awesome work and you are very talented!!
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! And you are only 40 girl. Thats my question too. Since when did they let kindergarten kids become professionals????? I see it everywhere now and it makes me decidedly uncomfortable!!!
I went through the same thing when I moved here to So Cal. I left a Dr, that was my pediatrician, I would call, he would do whatever I wanted. I came here, and started over. After the first initial shock of them being like 16 years old. I have grown to love them and affectionately call them "my boys." They are still being trained by me, but they are getting the hang of it.
ReplyDeleteI also happened to be one of their first families in the practice. Talk about throwing it on them. 14 kids and 6 with special needs. I have put them through the ringer.
Hang in there. Maybe he can hook you up with his mom and you two could hang out or something. LOL!
LOL! Oh my goodness you totally cracked me up with that one! We aren't old, but those new ones are young......really young and we will keep getting older and they will keep starting new young ones!
ReplyDeleteSandi... that was hilarious... "maybe me and his mom can hook up.. LOL!" Holy Cow Sandi... you need to go with a disclaimer!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteMichelle... yes... he is just so new and shiny and so not yet jaded by Mothers like me.
Lilly... yes... he was in Kindergarten!!! My 9 year old has more callouses on his hands than he did!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are right 40 is not old, i am 40!!! However now the docs can be younger than we are, although that should never be the case!!!
ReplyDeleteLove love love the new blog design. Have you thought about designing them for others??
LOL,I hope you an get him trained up right.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh.... scary isn't it! I always thought Doogie Howser was just a show, but NO... He does sound trainable though. That's a good sign.
ReplyDeleteI'm 27, and I can't stand to see a doctor that's around my age. Something isn't right about it.
ReplyDeleteOMG Saundra!!! You are so funny! I bet he called his mommy and told her about you! Thanks for making me laugh!
ReplyDeleteYou are so stinkin' funny... You had me rollin' with this whole post! Don't worry even though he is young I'm sure he had to learn something to get there.
ReplyDeleteThe zit, the "shoo", the test...LOL, you are hilarious!