Wednesday, January 14, 2009

WRITERS WORKSHOP

Ohh! I love me some Thursday! It's Writers Workshop time!
The Prompts:
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1.) Describe your significant other's most attractive quality (on the inside).
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2.) Tell about a time you stole something.
*** 3.) Choose a poem you like. Take the last line and use it as the first line of your own poem.
*** 4.) Write about a scary encounter with one of your old professors.
***
I will do 1, 2 and 4.
***
Bill's most attractive inner quality...
Well, it's a really good thing I'm not PMSing this week,
or he would have been in a heap o' trouble with this prompt.
He has a lot of great inner qualities. I kinda wish it was outer qualities... I adore his Popeye arms and his fantastic mint green eyes. But alas... it's the inner qualities.
Let's see... let's see...
Shall I go deep and talk about how loyal, loving and spiritual he is?
Or... shall I go shallow and talk about how he loves to buy me stuff.
Hmmmmm.....
Shallow it is!!!
That man loves to buy me stuff. Jewelry, gift cards, furniture, you name it.
It truly gives him pleasure to see me get all giddy over something new.
Ladies... before you get all hot and bothered at the prospect of having everything you want
(within reason), let me tell you it can be a blessing and a curse.
As we have gotten older, he has gotten a lot better about not spending money we don't have.
In the last 1o years, we have really come to love saving money up and buying things we need over things we want.
It wasn't always the case... young... stupid... instant gratification fiends... you get the picture...
But I digress...
A couple years ago, my BEST FRIEND had an affair with our son's (her's and mine) baseball coach. We are no longer friends at all... not because of the affair... but BECAUSE SHE HAD HER AFFAIR WITH HIM IN MY HOME WHILE MY FAMILY AND I WERE VACATIONING IN ITALY FOR THE MONTH OF AUGUST!... yeah... I sure know how to pick friends... huh?
ANYWAY... I was so distraught, torn up, sad, and bewildered... that dear, sweet Bill, handed me a large sum of money, and told me to go shop the sadness away.
Does he know me... or does he know me!
It worked in the short term...
I realize now, that it is a temporay high.
I have had to make sure and use his power and willingness to give for good and not evil.
I have actually made him kinda stop doing it.
I didn't want to end up in the poor house one day.
I know... I am so stupid.
But he is just very generous.
Now that we are completely debt free, he sees the reasoning.
Every once in a while, I let him go nuts on a shopping spree for me...
He so loves to give... that man.
You hate me now don't you...
I knew this one would not win me friends.
I also know there are an awful LOT of husbands out there just like my Bill... so
don't hate... you know you get what you want and desire too.
Admit it.
*****
Stealing.
***
I used to attend a private Catholic School. I hated every second of it, and was very mischievious, thinking the more trouble I got into, the faster my Mama would take me out.
It didn't work.
I once stole one of my Nun/teacher's habit from the Rectory.
JUST TO TRY IT ON!
I got so spooked, thinking God would strike me dead with a lightening bolt, I hid it when I heard someone coming down the hall. I shoved it behind a wall vent.
I was 11.
When I was about 20, I was shopping at Mervyns one day, and a lady approached me and gave me a big hug and asked how I was doing. I didn't know who she was. She told me her name WAS Sister Timothy, but was really Sandra.
Then it dawned on me. This was the NUN I pilfered the habit from...
BUT SHE WASN'T A NUN ANYMORE!
I confessed right then and there. She had always wondered how her habit ended up where it was, and who had done it. She told me she always felt a kinship with me because we shared the same name.
Then she asked why I did it.
I wasn't sure then, and I'm still not sure it was anything more than just to see what it would be/feel/look like.
Yes, I lied and told her I had felt a kinship too.
I am sooo going to hell.
Crap.
***
Scary professor...
A University in Florida... 1986, Prof. Diore
Told me my term paper was at his place... to come by and get it around 6 p.m.
"Don't worry, all my students come by to get paperwork."
He was from Ecuador and had a great accent.
I arrived, (with friends, I wasn't stupid) and he answered the door
in a silky'ish robe, and two glasses of wine.
I stepped back about 3 feet, asked for my paper, and he proceeded to tell me...
in front of my friends, that if I wanted my paper, I would have to have a drink with him
(I was 18), and if I wanted an A, well... you know.
Yeah... I got a C- on the paper.
He got suspended.
I'll take a C- anyday over THAT!
Now... if my Prof. was... say... Selleck, or that HOT guy Sawyer from Lost or Hugh Laurie
... I would have an A+.
{yeah, I love the rough, stubbly, bad boy looking ones... just like my hubby looks}
How many A's can you get for one class??

20 comments:

  1. Hey crazy lady! Remember me??? It's Anjanette from Fontana...Yvonne (BooBoo) & Raelena's friend. Imagine my surprise when I saw your picture on the cutest blog on the block posts. Your boys are sooo cute! You haven't changed, so fun! I married the guy I met at your party back in Sept of '89!!! Talk to you soon!

    ~Anjanette

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  2. Saundra, honey, temporary highs are ok.... :)

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  3. It's so much better to be debt free, don't you think? Sorta, kinda? And I'm glad you got to confess about stealing the habit. That was nervy of you to do it in the first place. You're just full of fire, aren't ya? And thank you for being so smart at the age of 18 to stay away from that creeper of a professor. I just learned so much about you today that I need to go digest it all. ;)

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  4. I am laughing too hard to
    type...

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  5. I've always wonder what it would be like to wear a habit. Very funny!

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  6. Instant gratification? I wouldn't know anything about that one. *looks around innocently*

    Oh wow, you went to UF too?! Small world after all.

    - Kendall from Mama Kat's

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  7. I will be arranging a meeting for our husbands so he can pass on his skills of gift giving not just on holidays! Lucky you!

    Your professor ~ definitely creepy!

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  8. Just went back and read more careully, oops.

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  9. I love your post! Love it! I don't hate on you for having a husband who loves to see you happy. I think it's really great. I'm always happy for women who have a spouse who really LOVES them and LOVES to see them happy. Isn't that what marriage is supposed to be about? (I am so sorry about your creepy affair-having friend.)

    Your steeling story is too funny. I love that you ran into the nun years later.

    And that prof. Wow. Gross! What a story!

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  10. I don't know about you....shopping highs, stealing habits, and stubbly bad looking guys! You really are headed for Hell! Crap! Love the stories, great fun! And I AM a little jealous of the hubs. Mine buys too, but not as often as I think he should! LOL!

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  11. Great post! I always love reading your posts! I have an award for you...come on by my blog to pick it up. :)

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  12. Girl, you are one lucky lady....send your hubby over my way and have him buy me some stuff too!! :)

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  13. Oh my gosh...! Each one of those were great. I'm totally creeped by the professor story though! Arrrghhhh!

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  14. OMG!!! I cannot believe your "freind" thats not cool. But hey, gotta love a man who understands a woman's need to have some "retail therapy" LOL
    and what a creepy professor.

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  15. Oh I love jewelry from the hubster! I've been eyeing a charm bracelet that I desperately want - I even did a post about it on my blog. I hope my man picks up on my not-so-subtle hints!!!

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  16. Hi Saundra. Is the Writers Workshop something you do on your own or is this something I can join? Gonna slip over to your other blogs and see what's cooking in the Italian kitchen. Ciao

    Coco

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  17. Temporary highs always feel so good! :-)

    Great Blog, Italian momma!!

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  18. Your husband sounds wonderful, and that nun/habit story is hilarious! Thanks for sharing! Ew on the professor- blech!

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  19. Aww, your husband is a keeper! A man who understands a woman's need to shop is a man worth keeping. Lasso him in.
    And if you're going to hell for lying, I'm going to hell for saying bitch in a church. Gasp!

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  20. Ohhh where to begin.

    1.) I love that your husband is a giver...but I could see how that could cause a problem. My husband is a saver and I'm a spender. I'm glad he doesn't join me, we could really do some damage if we were both spenders!

    2.) IN YOUR HOUSE!?! That would just feel awful to think you were used in a deceitful manner like that...and by a friend! :( I'm sorry.

    3.) And holy cow! With you professor!?! Ahahahahahahaha. What was he THINKING! I mean...I did that all the time with my old students, but it's more acceptable for us girls. He's crazy!

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