I don't claim to be a great Mama.
{{Ah... who am I kidding... I think I'm AWESOME}}
No.. just kidding...
I am winging it the best I can. My Mama... on the other hand , she was way better than I can ever hope to be.
She went with the flow better than I am capable of.
She never seemed to worry too much, and took things in stride much better than I do.
I can be nit picky, loud, and I am endlessly sarcastic.
(Yes, I know where my kids get their snarkiness)
My Mama was... while a total nutjob at times, in a good way, she was always really capable.
Me... I don't feel capable all the time.
I worry incessantly.
I preach nonstop about the ills of drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, sugar intake, biting nails,
respect, talking back, not doing everything I say when I say it, chores, too much TV, too much video playing, too loud Ipods... etc...
My poor kids!
My Mama comes over every Sunday and just laughs at me and my antics.
She always said she wished a child like me, on myself, and I got it in spades.
A little from each of my boys.
yipee.
She knew I got the message of how much she loved me when they handed me my first born after giving birth. I was the 3rd to hold him, after Bill and my Mother, because I had a C- Section and my arms were pinned down by tubes and such.
When I got him into my arms and started breastfeeding him in recovery... I looked at her...
started to bawl, and said...
"Oh Mama... I am so sorry for everything I have ever done or said to you... I get it now...
You weren't over protective... you just adored me... that's all".
I got it.
It was immediate and overwhelming and grew and grows to this day.
She just nodded as she cried.
I tried to picture her... holding me... her firstborn... in her hospital bed, after giving birth to me via C Section for the same reason I had to have mine... breech baby.
I knew she felt the exact same way, but I didn't know about it until 25 years later and experienced it myself.
***
Oh Gosh... I haven't even gotten to my point of the post!
My Papa is where I get my longwindedness (a word?) from.
So.. lately, I have been getting a lot of sweet mail from new mothers of boys and asking me for advice. Lilly also comments and tells me to write a book on how to raise boys...
and while I am flattered... there must be millions of book in print about that subject, though I have never looked.
Some of my hubby's and my cousins ask me advice on mothering too.
I have no idea why... and if anyone were to ask my kids.. they would laugh and say...
"Our Mom? Ha! She a raving lunatic! She never lets us do anything!"
So yeah... that's one book circuit I will not travel.
I do however have a philisophy... I try to brainwash... er... I mean... teach my boys, on a daily basis. Well not a philosophy, but more a list of rules I hope they follow so I can have the best life in my old age...
Oh... were you not aware that it's all about me in my home? Ha!
Well consider yourself informed...
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THE COMMANDMENTS OF MAMA SAUNDRA
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1. YOU MUST MARRY ORPHANS. Reason? I need to be the only Nana. Period.
No, I do not want to share my grandbabies. I want to be the only babysitter, weekend night spender, cookie baking, spoiling Nana. No discussion.
**If the parental units are over 85... exceptions can be made, and my floors will be extra slippery when they visit. Nuff said.
***
2. COLLEGES YOU APPLY TO WILL BE WITHIN A 5O MILE, 1 HOUR DISTANCE FROM OUR HOME. Reason? I don't want them meeting and marrying in another state that I can't see them very often or they can't drive to see us frequently. Attend college close to home and I promise to do your laundry and provide copious amounts of food for your friends and roommates.
***
3. PLEASE MAKE SURE THE WOMAN YOU ARE DATING... HAS BEEN A WOMAN SINCE BIRTH. Reason? Really... a reason is necessary?
***
4. You will learn to cook, clean and support yourself and your wife, and your children. Reason? I want my daughters in law to love me. To want to be around me...
to thank me for raising such great men. I would love it if my future daughters in law wanted to be stay at home Mothers at least until the kids were in school.
***
5. Once or twice per month... Dinner at our house... Everyone... no exceptions.
Reason? I had such high hopes growing up... that my hubby and I, would one day be able to go to big, boisterous family dinners with both our families, watch the inlaws dote on their grandkids and my nieces and nephews, and just share all that great familial stuff.
But no.. they all got divorced and it's all messed up now. So I would like to provide that for my kids and their families.
***
6. Did I mention Marry Orphans? Oh.. I did? He he... must have been an important one to me... haa ha...er... yeah..
{{yeah...I know... they are all a pipe dream... but I can still drill it into their heads...right? I mean..one or two might actually stick!}}
My favorite... #3. Now-a-days, you just never know!
ReplyDeleteYour mama sounds wonderful. Kind of like mine. Aren't we lucky?
LOL! Sounds like words to live by! I would hate to share Grandma duties. :) Mine, all mine. At least for me I have the kids that will be popping out the babies, which gives me higher status. :-P
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome. By the way I turned off word verification so comment away.
ReplyDeleteYou are an awesome mom!! I wish I had a mother in law like you. You will be great!! I'm sure you are just as great as your mom. It is much harder being a parent now than 25 years ago there are so many more dangers out there. Your boys are blessed! p.s.--Love your blog
ReplyDeleteWe do the family dinner with my MIL once a week (or as often as possible), and I think it's great. She's still definitely not my own mother, but we still have a great connection with her because of things like that.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that's too much to ask at all! In fact, I'll just copy it to give to my boys;0)
ReplyDeleteYou're an awesome mom!
Those are awesome Mama commandments except the continuting to do laundry one, but that is well i don't like laundry...
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post. Love your description of how you "got it". Brought tears to my eyes. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious! I've already caught myself thinking about how to horde my future grandkids and my son's not even a year old yet... lol
ReplyDeleteYou are going to make a daughter-in-law very lucky one day :)
Love. the rules. Live by the rules. Bow to the rules. I'm all about rules. lol... my kids call me a freak so I feel ya. I tell them, "No, dear, its CONTROL freak." :-p and everyone nods in agreement.
ReplyDeleteExcellent rules! I'm going to list them and put them on the frig as "Mama Saundra's rules" and threaten my boys that if they break them, I'll call you and YOU'LL line 'em out for sure! Fear of TWO maternal figures should really make 'em toe the line! LMAO
ReplyDeleteJust stumbled across your blog and had to comment. Love love love it. Made me smile. Hope you don't mind if I check back often! I think I'm going to try and get my girls to marry Orphans too!
ReplyDeleteLove it!!! And tons of prayers for your friends!!!
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that at least a couple of those will come true for you. (especially the one where they're going to love you)
ReplyDeleteI try to teach my kids things too and pray thate they listen!
ReplyDelete