Time for Writer's Workshop!
Here are the prompts I chose...
1. I used to think...
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2. List 10 things you can do in 3 minutes.
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3. Describe a time you allowed your child to do something that you normally would not let slide.
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Oh! These are gonna be fun!
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I USED TO THINK... that MY kids would NEVER be like... (fill in the blank)
Were you that kind of person?
I was.
Then I had kids.
I remember thinking my neighbors kids were total BRATS, and when I had kids, THEY WOULD NEVER act like that... I would be the BEST MAMA in the whole world... and my kids were gonna
be angels... because I will set the best example... and have all the time in the world to devote to making sure they are well mannered, quiet, angelic, polite, perfectly coiffed, never dirty...
angels.
CUT! AAAAnnnnd scene... THAT DREAM WAS OVER THE SECOND my oldest turned 3.
Oy Vay! I remember... ACTUALLY REMEMBER... wait for it... wait for it...
GIVING ADVICE to my co-workers WHO HAD CHILDREN... and I DIDN'T, actually giving advice to them, and I was... ahem... er.... 21.
Yep... WHAT A TOTAL IDIOT!
Oh the 20's... ya gotta love 'em! So much knowledge... so much diarrhea of the mouth!
These ladies had kids from babies to teens... and here I was... doling out unsolicited advice...
like I was some BabyGuru or something.
I get the willies just thinking about my doing that. I am sooooooooooo
embarrassed!
I didn't have William until I was almost 26... so... yeah... I knew nothing about anything when I was talking to them. I have to give those ladies credit... they didn't say anything TO MY FACE...
and were actually quite sweet. I, on the other hand, would have given me an earful, if I had been one of them.
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I USED TO THINK...that being married was always going to feel like the day we got married, FOREVER. I am happy to say it doesn't. It goes up and down, and sideways, and backwards, and inside and outside... and all kinds of twists and turns.
The butterflies I used to feel aren't around anymore... but instead, to replace those...
is a deep level of admiration and respect, that I feel, are a welcome respite from all the
hoopla of new, early love. I laugh and chuckle at the profiles I read where the ladies describe their husbands in almost all of their profile.
I want to say... "It's about you, honey... YOU! You can be separate and together at the same time! It's okay! You can be who you are separate from him... he won't mind, he may even think it's sexy!"
I don't know.. maybe it's because Bill and I have been together for 19 years now, that I just
see him as a partner and a welcome addition to my life... but NOT my life, and
certainly not the MEANING of my life. I don't expect to be the meaning and life in his life either.
It doesn't mean I love him any less or any more than anyone else... it's just different.
I saw my parents marriage fall apart because they expected their marriage to be the same after 22 years together, and my Mama expected to still be giddy and excited and uber affectionate... and it doesn't always end up like that... love changes,and deepens, and matures, and
we have to change with it. To recapture the new love can be fun... but not always reasonable or attainable... especially after so much life has been lived!
We have our separate interests, our common interests, our separate likes and dislikes, our common ones too, and I like that I can have a life in writing and being who I am with my girlfriends both online and in person, separate from being his wife...
Ugh.. I'm just being touchy and sensitive today... because I had a long chat with a cousin today about how she wants her hubby to do and be and go and love EVERYTHING she does...
and she asked me for my opinion... and she didn't like it. She really thought I was going to be on her side... and I just couldn't be. Men and women are innately different... coming from two separate lives, trying to mesh into one life...and both need to keep some of who they were before the marriage... 'cause that's who we fell in love with before the marriage. Know what I mean?
Okay... I'm done.
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2. Describe a time you allowed your child to do something that you normally would not let slide.
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Doesn't happen... I am a mean Mama. Nothin' gets past me.
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10 THINGS I CAN DO IN 3 MINUTES
1. put on my makeup... I love Bare Escentuals!
2. Make Killer Salsa
3. Ah! Who am I kidding... I'm lucky you read this far... I am so longwinded!
I won't bore you anymore!
Thanks for reading this far!
You are officially in my will!
half of nothin' is nothin... but still... you'll get an honorable mention!
Marriage is ever changing. like you, I believe that (to paraphrase) we change together or we will surely hang separately.
ReplyDeleteToo bad you are a mean momma. {*grin*}
Great post. I especially liked your comments on love and marriage, how it changes and flows, and goes through rough patches, sort of like a stream. While it is possible for a creek to dry up, most flow rapidly at times or slowly at other times, the water is at higher or lower levels, rushing or meandering, depending on the weather, but it keeps flowing. I wish I could remember the exact wording of a Chinese proverb, but it goes something like this: If it weren't for the stones, the brook would have no song.
ReplyDeleteVery true, very true. I can't be held to any long term relationship advice except that my hubby and I are in it forever. Murder before divorce is our motto! ;o)
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the marriage thing. It's totally different than it used to be and constantly evolving. But so am I and so is he.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Mama Kats...
ReplyDeleteI so related to being an authority on so much when I was in my 20s -- and knowing next to nothing about anything but thinking I knew it all. So embarrassing. Now I realize how they laughed at me behind my back ... I do the same thing now.
And you got it dead on about marriage!!! I think a truer post was never written. The sooner both parties realize this, the easier and better off the marriage is. Wonderful!
You can make salsa in three minutes? You rock. I enjoyed reading your responses to the prompts today!
ReplyDeleteSo to prove I read all the way through make sure in your will my name is spelled correctly. I am your favorite so I know you will get it right....TEEHEE
ReplyDeletePS You going Frank's opening?
I loved your post. And I totally agree. My husband and I are only in our first year of marriage, and we still get butterflies, but our entire relationship has been about doing things that are seperate and doing things together. I think thats why I married him. Our work schedules are opposite (he works weekends, I work weekdays) and when we do get time together we have so much fun. But mostly we have to have our own interests and lives. Since I got married after being on my own for 10 years, its a good thing we are like this. I could never have gotten married otherwise.
ReplyDeleteOops...I guess I'm long winded too.
I have been in love 3 times. Each time was different. In high school our love was pocessive (I was his-he was mine). In my marriage I thought love should be like a honeymoon. Now my love is mature and sensitive, kind and respectful, and hot as hell!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post on marriage!! Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteI was that girl, the one who said, "well my kids would never..." and the first time my kid embarrassed me in public I just wanted to run to all those moms and apologize. But, they were all in my shoes before right? We all do it... just some don't admit it. Thanks for outing yourself! :)
ReplyDeleteHubs and I have been together 28 years. He likes to say, "You aren't the girl I married." And that's my cue to say "Thank God!"
ReplyDeleteFortunately, we've both changed. And we like the new people we are with!
Great post yet again! I chose this one too and our "mommy" posts are similar. Funny thing is I almost included a marriage portion but it is a good thing I didn't b/c that would have just been creepy. I swear you read my mind sometimes! You know what they say, "Great minds think alike!"
ReplyDeletenice post on marriage. i'd like to think that i don't let my son get away with anything...but who am i kidding? he has me wrapped around his little finger.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I know what you mean about marriage. It changes, but those changes can be for the good and can deepen the relationship, make it more than infatuation. Great thoughts....Love the blog too and I have added you to my Google reader, so I'll be back (as long as my son and I stop getting colds and having teeth issues! Argh! Two months of that stuff has about done me in. But reading new blogs and finding new people...totally takes my mind off it and cheers me up.)great writing, by the way. Oh and thanks for stopping by my blog too!
ReplyDeleteI loved this post. I was one of "those people" and I am so much happier once I realized I am not one.
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts on marriage are like mine. I believe the same things you do and I appreciate the fact that you are so honest. You have a very healthy outlook on marriage!
ReplyDeleteKnow what you mean. Either you work together to make it work or you are on your own. It's like arm wrestling...sometimes when you feel like you've got every ounce to win, you lose just because you can and you want the other person to feel good inside. It's all about recognizing strengths and weaknesses...differences and similarities.
ReplyDelete