Sunday, April 6, 2008


Mixed marriages can be tricky. No, not racial or religious mixes… I’m talking about the mixing in marriages that takes place in probably every single marriage in the world. You know… the important things like… oh… off the top of my head…
Snorers & Non snorers Spenders vs Savers Hoarders vs Purgers Starting to get a little uncomfortable in your chair now? No worries… I’m only going to talk about Snorers and Non Snorers today. Yes, I know we all love our spouses… in sickness and health, for richer, for richer yet (hey, you said your vows one way, I said mine my way… ) till death do us part (you will be very missed, honey) I get all that! BUT, SISTA, PLEASE!!! In 16 years, I have yet to have a good night sleep!!! Bill snores so loudly the paint is chipping off the walls from all the vibrations!
I remember one night, Bill had worked for 24 hours straight, came home and went straight to bed. That same evening, I had a PC meeting at my house. We usually play music and there is lots of talking and stuff, but at one point during the meeting, there was a lull in the action, and what resonates throughout the house through 2 rooms and wall and a door, but Bill’s huge, loud, booming, snore from hell!!!
I just put my head down, and said “Welcome to my nightmare!” to all the ladies. It was so funny, and of course, I told Bill about it afterward.
He just smiled and went back to sleep.
Now… I’m not saying I don’t sleep loudly from time to time, but I know! I know for a fact that I don’t do what he does.
So if I seem unduly cranky all the time… IT’S FROM LACK OF SLEEP! I earned a trip to Miami a few years back and Bill and I went alone. We were so excited to have a few days to ourselves.
We could be true adults, doing adult things without the kids around all the time.
It… was… awful!!! The weather was humid and Bill’s body does not do well in humidity.
I think that guys body goes into overdrive and becomes an allergy factory.
HE SNORED SO LOUDLY, I literally slept in the bathtub to get away from the noise
(THANK GOD, Pampered Chef always puts us in 5 star hotels, because the bathroom and bathtub were like a spa!)
For FOUR (4) days, I did not sleep but 2 hours. Every time I looked at Bill, I pictured his head in a guillotine. I know, not nice… but I was so sleepy, and cranky, and whiney, and weepy.
I felt just like I did when I had the Baby Blues.
Sleep deprivation does some CRAZY things to people. To be fair, those of us that THINK we don’t snore can be pretty annoying too.
The “holier than thou” mannerism isn’t pretty, nor does it do anything productive.
I have joked that he needs to build me another bedroom, but I know that isn’t conducive to a good marriage, and I was really just kidding anyway, sort of, yeah, I was just kidding. Bill is working out of town this weekend, and last night was one of the rare nights I slept through the entire night without waking up… and I feel so bad when I get giddy about him having overnight, out of town work, but a girl needs to get an uninterrupted night of sleep from time to time. That poor guy thinks I am a great wife for WANTING him to take his annual hunting trip for a week in August with his Dad and other guys. Male bonding and all that jazz… but secretly, it is for me. One full week of snoreless sleep. I am the WORST. WIFE. EVER! I know I snore too. My roommates in Chicago or whatever other city I travel to for business tell me I do. I feel badly, then ask them what it sounds like. It still isn’t as bad as my honeys, any day of the week. OOPS , here comes that “Holier than thou” attitude again… What a vicious cycle. Anyone else deal with snorers? Bill tells me all the time… “Saundra, if I go before you… you’re gonna miss that snoring” In my sleepy stupor I say “Try me”
Worst. Wife. Ever. Ciao, Ciao!


  1. I'm the snorer in our house. I've tried the breathing machine with about 6 different masks, because according the drs, I'm going to die one of these nights from my snoring! Anyway, I feel like an alien and just can't deal with the machine. My husband wakes me up all night long, and we just started sleeping this last year! (Our youngest didn't sleep the first 5 years and the middle one has heart wrenching nightmares.) Maybe that's why I snore so badly, I'm playing catch up!

  2. Ok, I admit it. I'm the snorer, though my sweety says he can't sleep with out it. He snores too, but I jiggle the bed to stop him.


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