Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Venting... part deux...

So more slapping for ignorant parents is necessary.
It's true what they say... you need a license for drive a car and catch a fish, but anyone can be parents.
When, in my Generation, the "Yuppie" generation, did it become okay for parents to give their kids ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING THE KID WANTS AND TEN TIMES MORE...?
How many gaming systems, hand held devices, VCR's, Ipods, designer clothes, designer purses, $500 shoes does a child really need?
I don't know about them... but I had a pretty good life without all that stuff. I keep hearing..." I want to give my children everything I never had"
Did you not have a roof over your head, meals, clothes, entertainment, bikes, doughboy pools etc???
MY parents begged every single day for a loaf of bread in Italy. My Dad wore the same pair of shoes for 3 years and put cardboard in them to make them wear longer.
My mom slept with 6 siblings in a single mattress on the concrete floor until she was 9 years old.
My Mom never sat in a car until she came to America.
My Dad had to make a soccer ball out of trash and tape.
THEY gave us more than they had... what they had was NOTHING!
Growing up... some people in my family circle called me the Italian Princess. What they didn't know was I worked for everything I received. I had to get great grades. I had to stay away from drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and be respectful to everyone. (I had chosen good people as friends, Andrea, to be exact. We shared the same life and values)
Growing up I had cassettes, walkmans, skates, Clothestime or Contempo clothes, Maybelline makeup etc... Not exactly a poor life, not rich by any means... but I had enough... not in excess.
NOW, girls in their teens have purses 5 times more expensive than mine...
2 or 3 Ipods, in different colors, Manolo Blahnik shoes, Fendi watches etc, they HAVE to have MAC makeup...
Just because I can afford all that crap for my kids doesn't mean I have to BUY it!!!
Holy crap!
Don't get all bent... I know lots of kids have lots of nice things... fine... they are probably great kids too... I'm talkiing about the kids that are rewarded for mediocrity.
I like getting my kids things... but for reasons.
As rewards, not just because they are on the planet...
Why does a child that quits school have an 80 gig Ipod, a Fendi watch, 7 skateboards and Hollister clothing?
I wish parents would reward their children for being good and staying good.
Praise is a great motivator.
Praise has a great price tag... and last forever in memories.
I remember lots of times my Mama was proud of me for something significant, but don't remember at all what I was purchased for my Sweet 16 birthday party.
(okay, I do, I got a car...but I wasn't allowed to just go anywhere I wanted, when I wanted. and it was a Chevette for God's sake, not the midnight blue 1966 Mustang convertible I thought I was entitled to.)
My kids will never have the best money can buy while they are living under my roof,
unless it is life essential.
Otherwise, they will recieve what is appropriate and timely. If I start giving them all I CAN afford, I believe it will set them up for failure down the road. When a child has sooo much handed to them, they are rudely awakened to find out, when they move out on their own, that those wonderful things cost hard earned money. When they have to start out and manage money, and save up for things, it will be an easier transition if it starts in my house first.
I choose to give my kids the gift of "no", and "not now" and the gift of a work ethic. Two things I believe will serve them very well in the future.
Things come and go... but a healthy respect for an "honest days wages for an honest days work" is going to make great men of them one day.
What more can I ask for than my men to be great men, one day.
It starts here... now... it's hard, it's time consuming, and I have repeat myself over, and over and over again a million times... but I know... down the line... it will be time well spent.
I want my boys to be a legacy of truth, honor, love, hope and honesty.
Won't that be a great gift one day?
Bravo to all you parents that THINK, and LOVE, and don't always say yes.
Bravo to all you parents that go to your kids school, ask them questions, and help with homework.
Bravo to all you parents that want to know all the kids your kids hang out with.
Bravo to all parents that shelter your kids just a little bit more than others.
Naivety is NOT such a bad thing as a child.
Build your girls up, love them where they are at, let tell them they can do and be anything they want, and makeup, fake boobs and high heels aren't the way to get them.
Help them to see the lovely woman within them, just as they are.
Help your boys see themselves as partners and protectors of good things.
Help them to see women as a vessel to be lifted up and praised.
Teach them that NO, means just that... NO!
Teach them objectifying women is not a trait worthy of a good man.
I love all you good Mama's and Papa's.
Let's be a light to those with dim bulbs.

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