Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Soapbox, venting, whatever... I have a bone to pick...

Parents need to slap themselves across the face, and get with the program!!!
The program is Parenthood.
I mean being TRUE parents... not their kids friends! Their friends??? Maybe someday... like when the child has children and I can be the doting Nana... but now... in the formative years???
All that I have to say about this subject... cannot be contained in one blog post... so I will try my hardest to be brief, brief for me, anyway.
I couldn't sleep this morning at about 4 a.m. (hubby snoring) so I went out to the couch to crochet myself to sleep, but you need light to crochet, so I turned on the idiot box (TV) and there was a bunch of Oprah's on my DVR. I LOVE JAMIE LEE CURTIS! So I chose that one.
She said EVERYTHING I BELIEVE. It was like she crept into my brain, looked around and spoke my thoughts to millions of people.
The basic gist of what she said was...
We need to take responsibility as parents to TEACH our children how to be good, upstanding, productive members of society that value manners, respect, forethought and the ability to critically think independently. Those are my words, but that is what I got out of her shpeel.
The more I am seeing teenagers these days, the more afraid I become for them. Not all... of course.
I know for a fact, that the people I have chosen as friends have the same, if not better, values, hopes, dreams and the need for the importants things to be instilled into their children as I do.
But as William and Alex has become more active in ASB at school, and we are doing activities more on field trips that involve other schools, private or otherwise, I am naturally around more teens and preteens.
The language, the lack of respect toward their parents, the talking back, the saying just a flat out "NO" when their parents ask them to do something, is astonishing!!!
It takes everything in my power not to clench my fist and hit the...PARENT! and tell him/her/them to SNAP OUT OF IT!
Are they kidding me?
You know... I have to tell you... one of my FAVORITE e mails of all time is the one where a child is holding a sign saying "I chose to steal and I am following in my Daddy's footsteps and will someday be in a penitentiary if I don't stop." He was standing on the side of the road, and Grandma was sitting directly beside him in a chair making sure he did it. I AM ONE OF THOSE KINDS OF MAMA!
I couldn't believe the flack that wonderful woman got for disciplining her grandson. She was all over the news, reporters to putting her down for going 'overboard" with her methods. I say
YOU GO GIRL! If my family had a problem with stealing, or many members of my family were in jail, or if the generation before me didn't take the time to parent members of their families, what recourse would I have?
Being embarrassed is a HUGE motivator. Fear is also a healthy motivator.
I have told my children many times that if they ever got a pink slip sent home for an infraction that involved blatant disrespect for anyone in power at school, within reason of course (of course they can be awful to someone asking sexual things or trying to take them out of school etc...)
that I would show up at their school in a robe, slippers, hair curlers and sing the national anthem out loud in front of all their friends. During parent teacher conferences, throughout all the years, each teacher has informed me that each child told them what the consequences would be if they did ... whatever. I was completely serious.
I have threatened to handcuff myself to them and attend each and every class if they are ever truant. I WILL ACTUALLY DO THIS... I PROMISE. Cheri, I hope I NEVER have to ask for Bill's handcuffs.
If they EVER, EVER, EVER choose to follow the crowd and do ANY KIND OF DRUG or ALCOHOL, even too much Tylenol, I don't care WHAT kind of drug it is... they WILL attend NarcAnon meetings, they will view a half way house for drug users, and they WILL view the inside of a Juvenile Hall.
THEN... my kids will have to tell each and every one of their grandparents about the choices they made, and do some sort of counseling session to help their peers steer clear of the same choices. I AM THAT SERIOUS about it.
You don't even want to know all the other consequences I have for them. It would take up too much space.
On the other side of the spectrum... there are parents that allow their 14 and 15 year olds boy/girlfriends to sleep over IN THE KIDS ROOMS!!! I had a conversation with one parent last year at baseball that was so excited that her daughter had a boyfriend, and he just sleeps over in her room all the time, and oh, they aren't doing anything... and if they were, isn't it better that they are doing it in MY house, than out in a car somewhere???
Yes, of course that lady is now a GRANDMA AT 35!!! How in the heck did she think she wouldn't be??? I was floored!
Am I the ONLY person still finding that a little odd?
Not that the girl got pregnant... NO... that the parent ACTUALLY thought that she was going to be a GOOD THING, when she allowed her daughter to have SLEEPOVERS WITH HER BOYFRIEND! That poor teenaged mom can't take all the blame!!!
She didn't have anyone caring enough for her to say NO!
I am NOT suggesting that the girl got pregnant only because she was able to get it on at home... No, not at all... but I am suggesting that MAYBE that girl, MIGHT have thought twice about having sex so young in the first place, if maybe some boundaries were set in the first place.
Okay, I'm gonna stop now... more tomorrow... if you are still reading me after this.
Ciao, you wonderful people you... Ciao!


  1. Totally agree. We went to Luke's parent conference with his Language Arts teacher and we were discussing his persuasive essay grade and his teacher asked him if he persuaded his parents into what he wanted. Luke answered, NO. The teacher continued to ask him and then stated that Luke needed to be more persuasive. Please! Talk about trying to be a friend! This woman needs to get a clue!

  2. Holy Cow... what was she thinking?

    I'd like to see her kids in their teens being able to run over their Mama.
    No way... not in my house. In the bible it says "Honor your Mother and Father and I will give you long life... he meant that because I would kill if they didn't!

    We discipline them because we LOVE THEM, I'm not here for popularity contest...

  3. I agree I see it first hand everyday and you know what I am talking about. Parents need to be Parents period end of discussion. Who cares if you make them mad or you are not their friends so what. Believe me they will love you a lot more for it later.

  4. You may use Bill's handcuffs any time for what ever u want. I know what you mean, I wish they would require people to have parenting classes before they have kids. I'm agree with everyhting you said. Keep up the blogging....


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