Tuesday, August 26, 2008

To William...About to enter High School

Today... this baby boy...
The one who made me a Mama First...
The one who changed my life, my eyes, my mouth and my heart forever...
The one who smiled for me in his crib every morning
Wanted and needed only me to feed him,
Called my name when something went wrong
Asked me to marry him every day when he was 5 years old
Loves his Nana almost as much as he loves me...

Was my nap buddy...

And his Daddy's nap buddy...

Is starting High School tomorrow. I am having a cow people.

I have been crying and carrying on all day.

What am I going to do when he goes to college... chain myself to him?

I thought I could handle this. I thought I would be able to do this! I would give both my legs and arms to go back to when he was a baby again... to start over...to do it better this time.

I need more time... more time with him as my needy child. I need him to still need me for boo boos, and dinner, and just everything.

Instead... now I need him to reach high items on a shelf, to carry in groceries because he can do them all in one trip, move furniture, check out the house if we forget to turn on the lights when we are out. Now... he is starting to take care of ME, to try and protect ME, tells me he won't let anything happen to ME. It all happened so very fast.

I don't know what I'm gonna do when he goes to college. I really don't.

I am just so happy with the way he is turning out. I am starting to see the man I only dreamed about when he was 2.

He is strong, handsome, quiet and boisterous at the same time, brilliant, studious, and a jock.

If I were a 14 year old girl in one of his classes, I would never get any work done. The best part is...he is totally oblivious to his power. I hope it stays that way for a little while longer. I am not the Mama what wishes for girlfriends in high school. No sireee Bob! Girls just keep boys away from their studies and Mama. Two things I am NOT ready to give up yet.

William, the next four years of your life will make memories that will last a lifetime. Enjoy them, relish them, and make the most of them. I am so proud of you and the man you are becoming.

Thank you for being my first time being a Mama. Thank you for letting me practice on you. You have taught me so much in the last 14 years. Mostly... I got to see what my heart looks like outside of my own body. It is strong and lovely and true. May God place a hedge of protection around you and your classmates from now until the end of time...my lovely son.

Congratulations on starting High School...

The best is yet to come.

I love and adore you.



  1. You are making my eyes water. That was so sweet. Chase starts middle school on Friday and I am not ready I can't imagine what I will feel when he starts high school.

  2. How sweet of you to let him know what's inside. I'm mostly talking (preaching!) about my expectations. This blog motivates me to speak positively and send the message I know my first can do well in his first year of high school.

  3. Letti, I don't know why I didn't get all crazy with Jr. High. Maybe because it was all at the same school when he went. Yours is a totally different school from elementary, so it's emotional.

    Kathy, Yours WILL do well. He is so well behaved and well spoken. He relates well to others and has a quiet presence that evokes maturity beyond years. Brava Mama. Job well done.

  4. Oh ny gosh....I should have kept reading. I commented after the first post without reading the next two. Love them. Love your words. Your boys are lucky to have you for their mama!! Makes me realize I need to hug and kiss my boys more and relish every little boo-boo...even if I have to kiss 20 a day!!


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